Tag: brothers

A Friend in Need….

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I am certainly blessed to have friends that I have been close with for many years. Some date back to my childhood, as far back as elementary school.

One of these friends is a quiet, private person who takes on many things without sharing or even thinking of calling, just to blow off some steam or have a friendly ear to listen to his problems. He is solitary and sometimes a little self-absorbed: not in an egotistical or narcissistic way, but in that he will force himself to take on responsibilities and do too much for caring for family, and he does this at the expense of his time for friends.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because as Believers, we will often have people in our lives that ignore us because of what we believe, and will change conversations with us because they are uncomfortable with talking about God and salvation. Even if we are just blowing off steam, kvetching about the world from our viewpoint, and only want them to lend an ear. And when they do that, or when (like with my friend) they do not tell us things that are going on in their life, we feel sort of insulted. Not really insulted …how do I put it? I guess we feel unimportant in their life. Yes, that is how I feel when he doesn’t even call me to let me know that a close family member passed away.  In this specific case, more than one.

So, although he says it isn’t anything personal, and I believe absolutely in his mind he never thought to purposefully leave me out of his life, I still felt left out. Did it bother me? Yes. Will it affect my friendship? No.

Why? Because a friend in need is a friend indeed, even when that friend doesn’t want to recognize that he (or she) is in need. My friend needs me to be there in case anything happens where he does need to reach out to someone. I need to be there for him whether he wants me to be or not because that is how I show my love for him. And whether or not he loves me as much as I love him (I am taking brotherly) doesn’t matter, and (frankly) shouldn’t matter. Loving and friendship is great when it is reciprocal, but it is godly when it is not reciprocal. I am not talking about unrequited love, but about the difference in a relationship where two people are friends but one seems to be the giver and one is the taker. I have friendships like that, and they aren’t completely one-sided, but it feels often like I am the one” chasing them down” to stay in touch.

I have asked one or two if they still want to be friends, and they have said they do, so I still do most of the  work to stay in touch. And that is why these friendships are so dear to me- they help me to see God’s side of relationships. Many, in fact most, people reject God, His word, His commandments and even those that are “religious” have turned their back on God and Messiah simply because they go through the motions without the emotions. Yet God loves every one of them. He is the ultimate example of unrequited love, which we learn when we read the bible.  God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son to die so we have a chance to live, and He did that not because we were sinless, but because we can’t stop sinning! Think of that…would you die for someone who acts as though he or she doesn’t care if you are alive or not?

The best way to show the love of God is to love like God- without requiring that the other person love you back, or pay for the next meal, or even return your calls. I am not talking about the ones that take advantage of you or the ones that do not want you to be part of their life and have said so. I am talking about those people you know, friends and family, who are still interested in having a relationship with you but make it really hard to get together. They are the ones who are always busy doing something (I often think they are so busy doing things so that they don’t have to face up to things), or rarely return calls or emails, or just “disappear” sometimes.

These are the ones who need us the most, even though they don’t know it. Because one day they will find themselves with nowhere to go, and no one else will still be putting up with the “I’ve got too much I am dealing with right now” excuse to be there for them anymore. That’s why we need to always be there, just as God is always there for them, too.

If you truly know the love and forgiveness of God, then you have to show it to others. That’s how it works.

Parashah V’Yegash (and he came near) Genesis 44 – 47:27

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We take up from the last Parashah where Benjamin had been found holding the cup of Joseph, and was being held as bondsman to Joseph for life. Judah, who had told Israel he would be surety for the boy, approaches Joseph and tells Joseph how much Israel is bound, heart and soul, to Benjamin because his other son had been killed. Judah also tells Joseph that if Benjamin doesn’t return it will kill their father, and so Judah begs Joseph to let him, Judah, remain behind as slave for life and allow Benjamin to return so that their father isn’t troubled anymore.

This seems to be the final test passed, from Joseph’s viewpoint, for now he is so overcome with joy that his brothers have shown the loyalty and love to both Israel and Benjamin that he wanted to see, that he clears out all the Egyptians and confesses his true identity to his brothers. After the shock and surprise of this passes, they fall upon each other, crying for joy and Joseph immediately puts away any fear of reprisal by him, explaining how all this came about by God’s doing, that the terrible thing they did was actually part of God’s plan and His doing, so the brothers shouldn’t feel any remorse or guilt anymore.

The end of this parashah has Pharoah (who really seems to be a good leader and this guy just LOVES Joseph!) glad that Joseph is reunited with his family and immediately orders Joseph to bring them into the best land of Egypt, Goshen, so they can live there protected from the famine. God gives Israel, in a vision, permission to leave Canaan and dwell in Egypt, with the promise that God will bring his children back to their land. We are given the listing of genealogies of the sons of Israel at that time, and they come into Goshen and settle there.

We learn also how powerful the Pharaoh becomes thanks to Joseph. Up to this time, the people of Egypt were ruled by Pharaoh but they were all self-sufficient, owning their cattle and lands. When they run out of money to buy grain, Joseph barters their cattle for grain. When they are out of cattle to trade, Joseph acquires the titles to their land, and all this is now the property of Pharaoh. Essentially, Pharaoh is not only the legal ruler of the land of Egypt, but he owns it all, including the cattle. This makes Pharoah richer than before, and Joseph allows the people to keep 80% of the produce and give 20% to Pharaoh as their bondsman fees.

When I read this story, from Joseph’s sale into slavery through his reconcilement with his brothers, I think, strangely enough, of Mordecai saying to Hadassah how if she doesn’t ask the king to save the Jews, salvation will come from somewhere else, intimating God will do something, one way or another, to make sure His people survive. What causes me to think of this is how Joseph gives God all the credit (or blame?) for the slavery he suffered through for most of the past 13 years. Joseph was testing the resolve of his brothers, so do you think God had been testing Joseph’s resolve in the same way?  Joseph was a bit of a braggart, ratting out his brothers, telling them of his dreams how they were going to bow down to him. Was he really that naive? Given how smart he shows himself to be, I can’t think that Joseph wasn’t, at least a little bit, rubbing their noses in it. That almost got him killed, and did get him sold into slavery. And while slave to Potiphar, God tempted Joseph, now in charge of everything, with the wife of his master. Joseph showed himself to be trustworthy and upright, which landed him in the jail. However, it was in the jail that he ended up getting the most direct route to the Pharaoh, wasn’t it? We are told Potiphar was a mighty military man, but we don’t know if he had the ear of the Pharaoh as well as the cup bearer did. If not for being in jail, Joseph may never have even known about the dreams. Finally, when Joseph is brought before Pharaoh, we hear him tell Pharaoh that it has nothing at all to do with him, but everything to do with God when it comes to interpretation. Joseph now has passed the final testing from the Lord, showing his true humility and acknowledgement of God as the ruler and knower of all things.

What would have happened if the brothers didn’t change? What would Joseph had done if Judah had just said, “Oh well, see ya Ben. I’ll tell Dad you screwed up and have to stay in Egypt.” ?

I don’t know. Maybe if Judah hadn’t shown compassion, Reuben would have? After all, Reuben owed his father a lot for having insulted him the way he did. Maybe it would have been one of the other brothers? As Mordecai said, if Hadassah doesn’t do something, God will raise up another savior. If not Judah, would Reuben have been the one to demonstrate the compassion and love that Joseph was looking for?

It doesn’t really matter. The important thing is not who God uses, but that God uses someone to accomplish His plans. God has used righteous men, God has used horrible men, God has used an ass, and God has even stepped in and taken the reins, Himself. Whatever or whomever God chooses to achieve His plans and enforce His will, the bottom line is that whatever God wants to be done, will be done. And exactly when He wants it to be done, as well.

For you and me, the lesson here is that we aren’t in charge- we never were, we aren’t now, and we never will be. But that doesn’t mean we are predestined and have no control. Au contraire, mon Ami! It means we are totally in charge, and thereby fully responsible, for our actions. We are the ones who  choose to do and we are the ones who choose not to do. God will always get what He wants done, done. If He gives us a chance to be part of His plan, and we take it, then we are blessed to be able to serve the Lord. If He gives us the chance and we refuse, He may give us another chance, or He may not. We can blow it in a second and never know we could have been a Joseph, or a Judah, or even a Moses!

The choice to serve God or not to serve Him is totally up to us- we are not predestined to the degree we are irresponsible. I knew people who believed that God was in charge, but instead of honoring Him, they blamed Him. They easily took credit for anything they did that got them acclaim, and anything they failed to do or screwed up, well, then it was God’s fault because He is in charge of everything. A fatalistic approach to everything and an irresponsible attitude go hand in hand, and when you have a God that is in charge of everything, it is real easy to blame Him for what goes wrong.

I love to teach, and God has given me a gift for it, so when I give the message at Shabbat services or teach a class and I am congratulated, I will say that if I do something which is really good, I have to give all the credit to God. But when I really screw something up, that’s when I can take full credit.  I am proud to say that when I say that, it is NOT false humility (if that makes any sense.)

God has taught me that He is in charge, and that He will always get what He wants done, done, and that He will most often use people to achieve His plans. God has also taught me that everyone He has used, is using, or ever will use has the option to do God’s will or to ignore God’s calling. Sometimes, like with Jonah (for instance) God may give you a second chance; other times He may not. I can’t really give you an example of when God doesn’t give you a second chance because no one who has ignored God’s calling has made it into the bible.

We all have Tsouris in our lives- that is necessary for us to grow, spiritually and emotionally.  Those who use this to become better are the ones who will lead others; those who suffer under this and give in to their depression and self-pity become the bane of society. I believe that God will call on everyone at least once in their life. He is clear throughout the Tanakh that He wants everyone to turn from their sin and live; the death of the sinner never pleases Him. Therefore, He just has to call on everyone sometime to give them a chance to repent, to grow spiritually, to know God better and to be an instrument in God’s orchestra of salvation.

The thing is, God doesn’t shout. He doesn’t move mountains (although He can, if He really wants to) and he doesn’t send an engraved invitation. He just asks you to do something for Him. He doesn’t beg, He expects you to accept, and He doesn’t really want to hear excuses, like when Moses tried to get out of his calling. And most important, He doesn’t expect or like it when you try and give up. He is compassionate, patient and more than willing to lead you along the way, but when you accept God’s calling there is no Three Day Right of Rescission. When you agree to do God’s will, you are expected to do God’s will! You are expected to follow through, and I think that may be one reason we have free will- because it is such an onerous task to do God’s will in a world that hates God’s will, God will not force it upon us. God wants us to accept, and yet He allows us to refuse.

Listen for the calling in your life, and when you hear it, decide. You are allowed to say “No”, and I suspect that the vast majority of people choose that option. Yeshua tells us it is the small door and the path least taken that lead to salvation. The choice is yours, so please- make it a good one.

Parashah V’Yashev (And he dwelt) Genesis 37 – 40

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There is sooooo much here if I started, I couldn’t finish.

We are introduced to Joseph, Jacob’s favorite, and the jealous hatred of his brothers, fueled by Joseph telling them of his dreams. The coat of many colors, the treachery of the brothers, the narrow escape from death in the cistern and the eventual sale into slavery to Potiphar.  We also have a tangential telling of the story of Judah’s first born sons, and how Peretz was born out of his father’s (Judah) relationship with his own daughter-in-law, although Judah did not know it was Tamar at the time.

Back to Joseph, in Egypt, slave to Potiphar, but now because of his righteousness and competence, the slave is in charge of the masters household, and the masters wife wants the slave for her sexual partner. Joseph refuses to the point where the wife accuses him of doing just what he refused to do, and he is thrown into jail (probably because Potiphar was being merciful- normally an accusation of attempted rape would get the slave killed.)

In jail Joseph again shows his righteousness and is made a trustee, and this parashah ends with Joseph correctly interpreting the dreams of the baker and the cup bearer.

Like I said, just sooo much: but what I want to talk about today is not regarding any of these events, but what happens to the righteous in an unrighteous world.

Joseph was a Tzaddik, a righteous man. When he was younger he was a little immature, and didn’t show good judgement by telling his brothers about his dreams, but we see as he went through some tsouris that he matured to the point where his acts of righteousness talked for him.

So here we have this righteous man, a slave yet trusted by his master so much that he was, in truth, the de facto master of the house. But although Joseph was righteous, the environment he lived in wasn’t. What made Joseph stand out so well what also what got him into trouble so quickly.

Didn’t Izabel want to kill Elijah when he demonstrated the goodness and power of God? Wasn’t Jeremiah thrown into a cistern to die, then kept under arrest for years? Wasn’t Shaul (Paul) stoned, whipped and jailed for speaking righteousness?  John was marooned on Patmos, and James was killed. Many who spoke and did nothing but what the Lord had commanded of them, righteous, holy and moral people, became martyrs because of their service to God.

The story ends, we all know, with Joseph eventually reaping the fruits of his righteousness, and as such, showing for the first time the effect of God’s promise to Abraham that those who bless His people will be blessed- Joseph saved not just himself, but the Egyptians, and the people of God. Pharoah blessed and treated Joseph well, and God rewarded Pharaoh by saving his kingdom.

We all live in a cursed world, which wants anything righteous and godly to be gone. The righteous person has, as Paul described in 2 Corinthians, 2:16, the smell of death on them to those who are not righteous, to those who are of the world. That is because those who do as God wants, which should be all of us who profess to be saved and who have the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) living in us, speak to the very soul of the unrighteous reminding them that their ways will turn on them, that a judgement is coming, and that they will end up with the short end of the stick.

Think about it this way: you have been hiking and camping out for a week, no shower, no bathing, no toothbrush, and you walk into an elevator full of people. How do you think they might react to you? You don’t think there’s anything wrong- you are used to your smell, but they aren’t. You think you are OK, but the truth is you stink!!

That is sort of how it is with the righteous in the midst of the unrighteous, except instead of them realizing how much you stink, your “cleanliness” forces them to realize how much they stink!

And, just like Joseph suffered not for his sins but for his righteousness, we will suffer for our righteousness, too. The world hates us because it hates Yeshua. In fact, He told us all about that, didn’t He?  In Matthew 10:22, John 15:18, Mark 13:13, Luke 21:17, and throughout the Gospels we are told by Yeshua that following Him is no bed of roses. We will be hated, attacked, tortured, killed and…well, I guess once you’ve been killed it can’t get much worse.

Being righteous in an unrighteous world sucks. That’s all there is to it. The good news, however, is that this life is but a mist, a moment, the wink of an eye, and we can look forward to reaping our just rewards in the presence of the Lord of lords and King of kings, forever!  Things always seem to take a long time when looking forward to them, but when you have come into your time, looking back it seems to have happened in a flash!

When your righteousness gets you in trouble, don’t look to the present but think on the future. As we have been commanded to do, pray for those that hurt and harass you, give our enemy water and food and show compassion and forgiveness: it will demonstrate your righteousness even more, and thereby give glory to God. And, it will really eat at them, too.

Hey! There’s nothing wrong with knowing that your goody-little-two-shoes behavior will really rub their noses in it. After all, doesn’t God direct us with His staff (gently leading us) and His rod (giving us a good whack upside our heads) when it best suits His needs? We can allow our righteousness to foster some level of jealousy in others, hopefully which (with the help of our prayers for their deliverance) will lead them not into more sinning but make them jealous for our peace, our joy in the midst of tsouris, and bring them to the Lord.

The one thing you need to remember is this: being holier than another person doesn’t mean you are any better than they are- you are still a sinner! Yes, you are a saved sinner, but you are still a sinner. Righteousness has to be tempered with humility. That is what Joseph learned (probably sometime right after his brothers threw him into the cistern.) You can’t “lord it over” others (see Matthew 20:25, Mark 10:42, Luke 22:25) and you must be humble. Allow your actions to speak for you, and don’t talk of yourself as if you are any better than anyone else.

Remember that you were once like them, so be humble and thankful you are changing, that you are becoming holier. That doesn’t mean better, it means more righteous. There are plenty of unrighteous people who do righteous things. Even Nebuchadnezzar did good things, now and then. So be holier, just not “holier than thou.”

The world hates the holy, hates the righteous, and really, really hates to be reminded of the fact that they aren’t. That’s their problem: we need to be what God wants us to be, which is to be humble, to be compassionate, and to be righteous. And to be prepared to suffer for it.

It’s hot in the fire, but that is the only way to purify the gold.