Tag: dear abby

Should We Forgive Abusers?

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As I have often said, I read Dear Abby every day because it provides great fodder for spiritual understanding and teaching.

Recently someone wrote to her who had been abused as a child by her family, and now as an adult and parent is asking how she should react to those who constantly tell her that she should try to reconcile with her family.  Abby answered that when one has been abused they do “NOT” have to forgive the abusers.

Those who are God-fearing should know better than to follow that advice. True, it is hard to forgive someone who has damaged you, whether it be physically and/or emotionally. The pain and anger, unresolved anger, is very hard to live with and even more difficult to get over. In truth, I don’t think we ever really get “over” it, we just learn to get past it.

Yet God tells us that forgiveness is what we must do. We are told to be holy as God is holy, and part of what God does is forgive. He forgives because he is a compassionate and loving God, yet if we do not ask for forgiveness, it will not be given automatically. The reason for that is simple: if we do not ask to be forgiven, that means we aren’t repentant for the sin we committed, and God will not forgive an unrepentant sinner.

Here’s is the thing about forgiveness that (I believe) many people do not understand: forgiving someone else for a sin they committed against you does not make them right with God but it does make you right with God. Each and every one of us must ask God to forgive us for the sin(s) we commit. I can ask God to forgive others, but if they are unrepentant it doesn’t seem likely that God will forgive them. We can ask him to be merciful, but God will judge fairly and mercifully, anyway, whether or not we ask him to do so. What is good about us asking God to forgive or be merciful is that we can show God we are forgiving of others.

Yeshua tells us in Matthew 6:14 that if we do not forgive others, we will not be forgiven. OUCH!! That means that we must forgive if we are to maintain our salvation.

That’s right- it sounds bad and is a hard word to hear, but it’s right there in the Bible. If we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. We are also told that the rod we use to measure out others will be used to measure us (Matthew 7:2), which is another way of saying the same thing. If we judge others unfairly and refuse to forgive them, that is how we will be judged and how we will receive forgiveness (or not.)

There is another aspect of forgiveness that (I believe) many people do not know: the only way to make the pain go away is to forgive! Without forgiveness, the pain will never go away. Even when you do forgive, it will take time. I try to remember that I need to pray for those that have sinned against me (per Yeshua’s command in Matthew 5:44), and when I pray for them I find that it is easier to forgive them.

The old adage, “To err is human; to forgive, divine” is absolutely correct, and totally biblical.

Usually, Dear Abby’s advice is on the mark, and I understand that her column is not a religious one, but it sure would be nice if she was less PC and more GC (God Correct) for then her advice would be truly good advice.

Sheep Without a Shepherd

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Do any of you read Dear Abby? Or maybe Ask Ann Landers? I read these every morning, but not because I like to get some voyeuristic pleasure from sharing other’s problems with their lives. I see it as a thermometer, measuring the degree to which people in our society have no guidance, mostly regarding interpersonal relationships.

Often I get inspiration from the multitude of personal issues people present publically to a total stranger. I am always thinking of one of my favorite verses from the Tanakh, Hosea 4:6:

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

The knowledge they lack is the knowledge of God, the knowledge that comes from reading His Word every day, the understanding of the human condition that we see exemplified through the stories in the Bible. This is important stuff!

I feel saddened and frustrated when I read the almost inane situations people get themselves into; and then, as if they haven’t hurt themselves enough already, they go to Ann or Abby for help. For the record? I’ve got nothing against Ann or Abby. I think, overall, they do a wonderful job. And even though I wish they had more spiritual answers, they are usually spot on with their advice.

However, I can’t help thinking that if the people who write these letters stopped asking humans and went to God for help, they would find that God has the best answers.  All the time.

So, nu?  What can we do? We can make ourselves available to our own family and friends, to let them know that we have the same problems in our life but we also have the best answers, Then show them where the answers to their problems are found in the Bible.  When we relate our own story, not forcing it on anyone but just using it as an example of what worked for us, we can lead them to a better answer, a greener pasture.

And we should be prepared to be rejected and (maybe even) laughed at. That goes along with the territory and is part of the job when you live your life to help others.

Life is tough; there are many times we get ourselves into a situation we don’t want to be in. And when we are there, we cannot fathom how to get out of it.

That’s when we need to go to God. As we read in Matthew 19:26:

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Be a good shepherd to your family and friends and lead them to the answers they really need, which are always found in the Bible.

Do What is Right and Not What is Expected

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First off, let me say that Irma is no friend of mine!

 

Nice Irma…..Image result for my friend irma'          Nasty Irma….Image result for hurricane irma images

 

We have some small and large branches down all around the house (nothing damaging the house or porch), a few roof shingle tabs that blew off (nothing serious) and the large Bougainvillea that is on the side of the house has nearly every leaf and flower blown off- it looks more like a skeleton of a large bush than a bush.  🙂

Power is back on (lost it sometime around 0200 and it came back around 1015) but there is no water due to the many mains which have broken. I hope the water comes back soon. Overall, the worst is done- just windy and an occasional shower left behind, but I am leaving most of the plywood up in case the next one, Jose, wants to make trouble, also.

Because I have power and today is a day for blogging, let’s not waste the blessing God has provided and get down to today’s message.

I was reading Dear Abby the other day and read a letter from someone saying they receive a present from friends which is always a hand-colored picture from a coloring book. They always get a different hand-colored picture each time there is an event where people exchange gifts. The writer was complaining that this is all they get, and they wanted to know how to tell the givers not to give these anymore.

Abby said to accept the gift graciously, then do whatever they wanted to with it. I agree with the first part of her answer, but the second part disturbed my spirit because it doesn’t address the real issue, which isn’t about the gift at all, but is all about the  attitude of the people receiving the gift.

I am somewhat proud to say that even before I knew the Lord, I still thought that when someone gives a gift they should do so because they wanted to give a gift, and not in expectation of receiving something as nice (or nicer) back. Gift giving should be that- giving. Not expecting a return on investment, not requiring an invitation to their party because you invited them to yours, and certainly not expecting that the gift has to be used or given any special consideration. We should give a gift because we want to give a gift. That’s all there should be to it.

The people in the article didn’t appreciate the meaning behind the hand-colored pictures, and only saw the “thing” they received. They (apparently) expected better, maybe something prettier or more expensive, or more useful. In this, they were exhibiting what the world expects- eye for eye, gift for gift, invitation for invitation. I give only so that I will receive.

This is called Altruism: for instance, in the animal world bats are altruistic in that they will care for and feed the sick among them, knowing that if they become sick they will be fed. In human circles this is expected, but I believe humans should be above that;  we should not be altruistic in our relationships, we should be philanthropic.

Yeshua teaches that if someone asks for a shirt, give your cloak as well, or if they ask to carry their pack for a mile, carry it for two miles ( Matthew 5:40; Luke 6:29-30) because we are to give without expectation of receiving back.

God has made covenants with us, in which there is an exchange, but the most important things God gives us, namely Grace, salvation, and forgiveness, He gives without expectation of receiving anything back.

My answer to the writer of this letter would have been to accept the gift graciously, then take the one they liked best, frame it and put it in a conspicuous place in their house. This way they will constantly look at it, and maybe it will be a reminder that they are blessed to have friends who don’t want to just “give something” but want to give of themselves in the gift. Maybe by recognizing the love and compassion behind the simple gift they will become more compassionate and loving, themselves.

Do what is right, and do it for the right reasons. Never give in expectation of receiving. Even if someone is constantly unappreciative and never gives you anything, don’t refuse to give to them. When it comes to giving, we should follow the pattern of the Golden Rule: Gift unto others what you would like to receive yourself.

I finally got it but i can’t show it

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I love reading Dear Abby because it gives me so much inspiration.

Sadly, it is inspiration to write about the decrepit state of humanity, how misguided and faithless people are. But I write about it here in the hope that if just one person can be convicted of their lack of faith, which contributes to the insecurity they feel, and be made to understand that it comes from not trusting in God and His authority, maybe (just maybe) that person can be led to the Lord.

So what was today’s “inspiring” entry? A woman said her hubby bought her a pocketbook, expensive and chic, that she has always wanted. However, now that she has it she is unable to wear it because she is afraid of what other people may think about it. She went into how they may think she is “showing off”, or maybe will want to steal it, or may feel bad that they can’t afford one …all excuses based in (I believe) some insecurity she suffers from.

Reading this letter I don’t just see the irony of the situation, which is now that she has received what she always wanted, she won’t allow herself to enjoy it. What I see is a more spiritual issue, that being, when some people are saved they don’t do anything with it.

Yeshua (Jesus) said that one doesn’t buy a lamp to keep it under a bowl (Matthew 5:15); this poor woman has been given a light, so to speak, yet she is keeping it under a bowl. All she can think of is what other’s may think about her, and she hasn’t realized that this isn’t something to be embarrassed or ashamed of, but it is a light: she should show this pocketbook off as much as she can so other’s can inquire, and she can tell them of the love her husband has for her (just like the love God has for all of us), of the value of saving for something, of the appreciation she has for her husband, or just how all wonderful things are supplied by God. She can point out to everyone that her pocketbook is more than a chic piece of personal apparel, it is representative of the good things that await us all if we are patient and trusting in God to deliver.

All that good stuff just from having a pocketbook! Think of what we can do with showing off our salvation, if we are willing to expose it to the world!

My Pastor likes to use the expression, “Get out of Goshen!’ when talking about not using one’s salvation. There are so many churches that preach saving your soul, the love of Messiah, and constantly have altar calls to save souls for Jesus. All good stuff, but what about what comes next? It’s all nice to hear about being loved and saved from destruction, but you have to do something with your salvation: painting the blood on the lentils of your house isn’t the goal, it’s the first step. It is, in truth, one of the least important things about salvation because it isn’t what you do to get saved, it’s what you do once you are saved that really matters.

This poor lady, when she received her pocketbook, made the beginning of her joy the end of it! Once she received what she wanted, she didn’t do anything with it, and now is sadder after receiving her valued possession than when she wanted it. When we are saved, we need to show it off to the world- we need to take that lamp and place it on the highest shelf we have, we need to “talk it up” to everyone we meet (without being a pain in the butt or a “Bible-thumper”) and we need to take the salvation we have received and share it with others.

There is a parable in the Gospels about the king who gave talents (money) to three of his servants before he went on a long trip. When he returned, two of his servants used what the king gave them to increase it, and returned more than what they had been given, for which the king rewarded them. The third servant buried it in the ground, and returned only what he had been given. That servant was chastised and thrown into the dark because he failed to use what he had been given. I interpret this to mean the talents represent salvation, and we need to spread it out, to invest it, so that when we meet God on Judgement Day we can present to Him more than what He gave us, which would be the results of our spreading the Good News throughout our lifetime to others.

You can’t grow a garden without planting seeds, which is our job: we plant the seed and leave it to God to water the ground and grow the produce. When we are cleansed of our sin we are also given a bag of seeds, the seed of salvation, and God expects (nay, requires) that we sow those seeds everywhere we go.

If you have been saved from destruction through the sacrifice of Yeshua ha Meshiach (Jesus Christ), you have had His blood painted on your doorposts: now you need to leave Goshen. That means you must spread His word, tell everyone how God has saved you, blessed you and protected you even in the midst of your troubles and tribulations. You need to let your light shine. Don’t worry about what negative thoughts people may have, because there will always be people who are jealous and envious and will try to bring others down so they feel better about themselves.  We should pray for them, ignore their taunts, and continue to praise God to the rest of the world.

Bragging in yourself is wrong, but bragging in God is right, so brag about all God has done by glorifying His name in all you say and do, and show off that pocketbook to everyone you see.

 

Tradition or Torah?

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Besides being fed up with their faithlessness and ignorance, Yeshua’s (Jesus) biggest complaint when He was ministering to the people was that they gave more importance to the Rabbinic traditions then they did to God’s word. It is clear throughout the Gospels how He felt, accusing the Pharisees of hypocrisy, and adding more to what God required (Matthew 23.)

We have known of Yeshua’s request to do what God has said we should do (and to beware of hypocrisy) for centuries, and after all these centuries what have we learned?

Nothing. In fact, back then it was just Jews following Yeshua and Jews not following Yeshua, but today we have so many different religions (all man-made) with so many different laws and canons and requirements and traditions that not only have we not learned, but we have exponentially made it worse!

Jews that didn’t want to follow Yeshua made it hard for the ones that did, then Rome made it worse, so the followers began to separate themselves from the Jews, which led to ignoring some of the Torah. Then they wanted to separate further, and the Council of Nicene developed their own religion, changing the Sabbath, creating their own holidays, and developing Canon, laws, commandments and rituals (all man-made) that took precedence over the Festivals of the Lord that God told us we should celebrate (Leviticus 23.) What they did was to totally ignore God’s commandments, just as Jeroboam did when God gave him the 10 Tribes of the Northern Kingdom (1 Kings 12:2.)

So Christians became Catholics, became Eastern Orthodox and Western Orthodox, became Lutherans, became Protestants, became, became, became, became….until today there are dozens of different Christian denominations; adding to the ones I mentioned above, there are Unitarians, 7th Day Adventists, Latter Day Saints, Methodists, Amish, Mennonites, AME, Baptists (Southern and others), Christian Scientists, Quakers, and the list goes on and on.

Let’s not forget the Jews: Chasidic (different groups within this), Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist and Messianic (yes, my Jewish readers, Messianic Judaism IS a sect of Judaism:Messianic Jews are not Christians.)

If everyone is worshiping the same God, then how can there be all these different ways of worshiping?  All agree this is the same God, the God that doesn’t change. So, if He doesn’t change, and He told us how to worship Him when he gave the teachings to Moses (which describe how we are to worship and provides penal and moral codes we are to live by), then how can there be so many different ways to live and worship? The Torah is a constitution, but unlike a political constitution which can be amended, God’s constitution is never to be amended. He told us that in Deuteronomy 4:2.

I got on this “kick” by reading Dear Abby, where she was asked by someone who’s Grandmother believed all children need to be baptized, and another granddaughter had a baby that was not being baptized. The writer asked if it would be OK to baptize the baby in secret just so the Grandmother feels better.  Good for Abby!- she told them no way. But here is what “gets” me about this- where did anyone ever get the idea that God would send an infant to hell because it wasn’t baptized? I know that Yeshua said we must all be reborn of spirit and water, but when we read about John (Yochanan) baptizing in the Jordan, it was adults who were coming. There is nothing in the bible that even implies children were there, let alone infants. To even imply God would send an innocent infant or child to hell because some Priest or Minister didn’t have someone else promise that the kid would be raised in that religion (remember- God has no religion, so that promise can’t really mean anything to God) is nothing short of ridiculous! Maybe even blasphemous. The only one who gains anything from the baptism ceremony is the church/priest. From what I have seen, $40 is the recommended “donation”, but then again, you have the textile industry (you need to buy the baby a Baptism dress), the card company, the food industry (“Come back to our place for refreshments afterwards”), and who knows who else makes money from this ceremony?

Baptism, as it is done in the church today, is absolutely wrong. The truth about the Jewish ceremony called Tevilah, which is the baptism Yochanan did in the Jordan, is a ceremony that represents an outward expression of an inner, spiritual cleansing.  It is something that one decides to do, and an infant cannot make that decision for itself. And, since this represents a communion and relationship between the baptized and the Lord, obviously no one else can make that decision for them.

To bring it all together, I believe the traditions that people have created in order to worship God in their own way only pollutes the true spiritual meaning of worship. God told us how to act, to worship, and to treat each other, His laws and regulations are not too hard to follow, they are not too difficult to understand, and they are not to be messed with.

If you really think that God is going to send an infant to hell because it hasn’t had someone pour water on it, you don’t understand anything about God. And because the infant hasn’t made it’s own decision to be baptized, the entire ceremony is really just pouring water on the kid.

I have nothing against traditions- they help to bind us, to remind us, and to keep us acting in a proper manner. It is a comfort zone, of a kind, and when the traditions we form are in keeping with and complementing God’s commandments, they are useful, practical and can be a blessing. But when they take on more importance than what God said to do, and we follow traditions that don’t complement but compete with God’s commandments, then we are blaspheming. We are ignoring God and idolizing ourselves and expanding our own importance.

The tagline for my ministry (this blog) is designed to honor God and get you on the right path: “God has no religion.” God has given us what He wants us to do- no more, no less. And when we add to it or subtract from it, we are telling God that what He says isn’t good enough.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to face God and tell Him He didn’t get it right.

What’s in a name?

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The other day (June 2 , if you want to look it up) I was reading Dear Abby. As those of you who follow this blog (thank you so much for that- I really appreciate it) probably remember, I read her column to gain fodder for my rantings, and I was not disappointed with this one.

A person wrote and asked about the name, or descriptive title, of a unmarried man who is having an affair with a married woman. S/he said everyone knows that a woman would be called a “mistress”, and wanted to know what do you call a man in that position?

Here’s an old joke: “What is the definition of a mistress? Something between a mister and a mattress!”

Dear Abby took this one to heart, checked it out in the library, did her research, and came up with a few different names. But of all the names she came up with, what I noticed was the one name that was absent: adulterer.

I have to admit I was a little surprised- I believe Dear Abby has a good moral character and ethics, yet, here she has the opportunity to remind us that adultery is a sin and she lets it pass. She answered the question, and I am sure that she will defend her position (and it’s not really a bad defense) by stating it isn’t her job to judge, just to answer.

Although when you read her column, she judges often enough.

The bottom line is that she needs to maintain her readership, and when too many people are reminded too often that they are sinners, that what they do is wrong, that their problems stem more from their lack of respect for God and His laws than anything else, well- she’ll find herself losing popularity. Her columns are written to keep people reading them, and that is done by providing good advice and a daily dose of gossip.

Proverbs 18:8 says:

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.

Now, you may argue that when someone writes about themself it isn’t gossip, and many people are writing about their own problems, which more often than not is about or involves someone else. Names are not given, events are descriptive enough that people involved will probably guess it’s about them, but the truth is: this is a gossip column. People read it to hear about other people’s problems and to feel better about themselves. Sometimes it can serve a valuable service, the advice is often enough valid and useful, but when you strip off the pleasantries, it is a gossip column, and as such must appeal to the lowest and basest of human emotions- to watch (or in this case, hear about) the suffering of others.

I find myself asking, “Why?”: why doesn’t she ever recommend that someone go ask their Rabbi or Pastor or Priest for help? Then I remember about the New Jersey Rabbi who murdered his wife to be with his mistress (there’s that word again!), and the problems in the Catholic church with child abuse by the priests, and Jim Bakker, and…well, I guess she doesn’t suggest going to the clergy because they’ve had some really bad press lately.

The world is what she writes about, and the world is who she writes to, so it shouldn’t surprise us that her advice is “worldly”, not spiritual. Maybe we need to get someone out there who will write a spiritual column, someone who will tell people that their problems are because they have no love of God or respect for His laws. Even if you are an Atheist, you have to admit that the social and moral mores of the Bible are valid and, if followed, would make the world a much, much better place to live in.

If you know of such a column, please hit the reply button and share it with the rest of us.

We need to let the world know that what is in a name is the truth of the matter- names of people in the bible were more than just some fancy moniker- they were who the person was. And when we want to know what to call someone who is having an out of wedlock affair, there are two names for it: if one or both of them are married, the name is adulterer. If neither is married, the name is fornicator.

That’s it. Nothing else is truthful, everything else is some form of sugar-coating the truth.

Brothers and Sisters, we live in a world that is full of sin, and accepts it as the way to be. They have lived with the stench of sinfulness for so long that they think it smells nice. In fact, it is so bad that the world thinks we Believers stink! As Shaul tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:16:

To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom.

That makes it even harder to get close enough to people to help them find their way to salvation- after all, who wants to be in an elevator with someone who hasn’t showered for a week?

Don’t let that stop you. You can cover the smell of salvation by talking to them in a language they understand, use the terminology of the world to help them forget about how you smell and to get them to listen. Then, slowly, with the gentleness of a dove and the cunning of a serpent, bring them into the light. They won’t know how bad they smell until they get a breath of fresh air, and the Ruach haKodesh is the freshest of air (Ruach, which we interpret as ‘spirit”, in Hebrew is actually the word for ‘wind’.)

I have nothing against Dear Abby, and I think she very often helps people. The problem is that she helps them in a worldly way and what they all really need is to know God’s way, if they want help that will save their souls.

The problem, I guess, is that saving souls doesn’t sell papers.

Everything’s wonderful, but…

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I have often mentioned I read Dear Abby and Ask Amy in the morning newspapers, along with the comics and the word puzzles, because these “advice columns” give me fuel for my blogging fire.

If you also read them, have you noticed that so very often the writer starts off with how wonderful their spouse or partner is, how s/he is kind and affectionate and how wonderful everything is with that person. Then they say something like, “But when he is drunk every night , he hits me” or “She spends too much money and we are broke” or maybe even, “I sneak into his emails and he is flirting with co-workers.”

They try to convince themselves that everything is wine and roses, but they have really significant issues and they ask Abby or Amy what to do. Don’t they read their own letters? It’s obvious what to do- get your head out of the place it is in and back on your shoulders! Open your eyes! WAKE UP!!!

I also notice how I almost never see anyone write in who is a Believer. Oh, there are “religious” people who write in, all right, but they are usually the ones that give God a bad name: they are self-righteous, unloving, and stoic. It is good stuff for the column, since everyone reading their bigoted and pretentious attitudes gets a good rise from it (which is why, when we are honest with ourselves, many of us read these types of articles) but you rarely, if ever, see anyone who trusts in God and is faithful write in.

Maybe that’s because we know the best answers aren’t in the newspaper, but in the Bible.

What will happen to these people who try to convince themselves that all is wonderful while they are in the middle of tsouris? Won’t they be the ones who will run to follow the false Messiahs Yeshua warns us about? Won’t they be the ones to take the mark of the enemy because he will promise joy and riches and all those things people without faith and trust in God will want given to them?

We need to keep our eyes open and be honest with ourselves. We need to follow the example of those in the Bible who were able to accept the truth about themselves. David listened to Nathan and accepted responsibility for his sin with Bat Sheba; long before David, his ancestor Y’hudah (Judah) accepted his guilt when he realized he had not given his son to Tamar in marriage, as he promised; Shaul even took the vows of a Nazarene twice- not because he did anything wrong, but to demonstrate to others that he was not doing anything against Torah.

We need to be very, very careful. The times are here already, the shofar is in the hands of the one who is to blow it, and we need to be aware, alert, and honest with ourselves about what we are doing, who we are with, and where we are going.

It is especially important for those Believers who only want to hear about the love and acceptance that the grace of God gives to stop fooling themselves. They don’t want to even think that their salvation comes at a price; I am not talking about Yeshua’s suffering, but the price each of us must pay when we are saved. Our individual salvation is easy to receive and hard to keep. That’s why Yeshua said that those who wish to follow Him must take up their execution stake every day. We need to work at keeping our salvation, at being better, at doing more for God and dying more to self. Every day, every hour. Those who only want to hear about God’s love and acceptance and heaven are, as my Pastor says it so well, not willing to leave Goshen. They want all the happy-happy and none of the real life truth about how hard it is to be, and to stay, saved in an unsaved world.

Don’t tell yourself lies. Don’t make out that things are fine when they aren’t, and don’t go in the opposite direction, either: don’t be discouraged by the evil and hate in the world. It’s going to get worse. You need to steel yourself, you need to wear that armor Shaul told us about in Ephesians. We all need to maintain our hope in God’s promises and keep faith in Him; more than that, we also need to accept that we all have to work at it. Salvation is here but it hasn’t arrived yet; we have it but we won’t use it until Yeshua returns; when we cash in our chips is when we receive the prize.

Yeshua told parables that ended with Him saying, “Let those with eyes see and those with ears hear.” We need to have eyes that are open, ears that are unplugged, and faith that is unbending. More than just that, we need to have a humble attitude and contrite spirit, as David did, so that we can accept the truth and work within it.

Look for the truth in your life and don’t sugarcoat salvation. Remember what Yeshua told you: the truth will set you free.

Dear Abby Strikes, Again

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I have a lot of respect for Dear Abby. For the most part, the advice given by her is reasonable and I am sure over the many years this column has run that there are many people she has comforted, as well as set straight. I have the same respect for Ask Amy, and pretty much any advice columnist because, if for no other reason, they have such an impact on and responsibility to others.

But, then again, sometimes they are giving “politically correct” advice and not really honoring a godly position.

Here’s today’s take: an older couple has a daughter moving in with her boyfriend and having an open house. The couple writes that their faith is against this sort of relationship, they love their daughter but feel they can’t bring themselves to participate in an open house that represents a relationship they are against, religiously.

Abby pretty much told them they were wrong, that many couples are living together today and that they will lose more than they will gain by not attending.

I think since this couple raised these kids, the kids would already know how they feel about cohabitation (“living in sin”, as we used to say; that is, when people cared whether they were sinning or not) and might invite the parents as a courtesy, but not really expect them to attend.

We are to hate the sin and love the sinner, but that doesn’t mean we should condone the actions, and being “tolerant” is just standing by and watching sin without speaking up against it. The Bible is pretty clear about not allowing evil to be ignored. Check out Ezekiel 3:8, or Ephesians 5:11, Hebrews 13:4 (about marriage) and throughout the Tanakh. We are told if we see an enemy’s donkey overburdened we are to offer to help, and if someone loses their animal we are to care for it until it can be returned.

The Bible teaches us to try to help others and speak out against wrongdoing, whereas the World teaches that we should be happy if our enemy suffers and “finders, keepers; losers, weepers.”

I applaud this couple who say they love their kids and yet will not prostitute their beliefs just to make the kids happy. What lesson does that teach? It teaches that if the world says it’s OK then you should do it. That is bad advice, Abby- that is the “wisdom of the world” that will send people straight to hell. If everyone else takes the “mark” and is rewarded for it, as they will be, then should I also take it, even when I know what it means? Just because it will make my family happy? Because everyone else is doing it? Because it is accepted by society? Hasn’t your mother ever asked you, “If everyone else was jumping off the Empire State building, would you jump off, too?”

The trouble is that in today’s world (actually, it has always been this way) people jump off the building because they don’t know they are jumping off the building. The Prophets were told, because they know the true word of God, that they are required to tell those sinning to repent, otherwise the blood of the wicked will be on the head of the Prophet! That sounds like a lose-lose deal, doesn’t it? If I say something against what the world does I will be an outcast, and if I go along with them I will be guilty before God. Read Jeremiah to find out how difficult it is to be Godly-right and worldly-wrong.

Personally, I prefer being OK with God and the World can go to … , well, that’s where the world is already going, isn’t it?

The Bible says that we, those who worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, are to be holy because He is holy. Being holy means being separated, and you can’t be separated from the world if you go along with the world. This couple is separated, and they are determined to stay that way, even at the potential cost of alienating their own daughter. That is the kind of faith that wins people over to God, and the kind of faith that God requires of us all. That is the kind of faith the Levites showed at the base of Mt. Horeb.

What is the strength of your faith? If it was your daughter or son having an open house for their unmarried relationship, or even a gay relationship, would you go?  I confess I am not sure what I would do. I have family members who have been in a gay relationship for many years and when Donna and I visit we stay at their house. They are very aware that I do not agree with their lifestyle, but I love them and want to be with them. I think the best way I can get someone to see God’s way is to demonstrate it in my lifestyle and I can still be true to my beliefs without having to alienate them. But that’s me.

These are tough questions, and require tough answers. And the answer has to be one you decide for yourself. The end is coming sooner than we realize; it is just around the corner and there is no more time to think about it.

There are only two sides to this game, and God has already won. So, nu? Who’s side do you want to be on?

Everything is Wonderful, Everything is Great, It’s Just That….

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Do you read “Ann Landers?” “Dear Abby?” Maybe, “Ask Amy?” I do: not so much for the gossipy kind of stuff you get, or to take pleasure in hearing about other people’s problems (making mine seem less),  but as fodder for this ministry blog.

If you do read these columns, even only once in a while, I hope you also think, “How can they say that?”  They say they have a wonderful spouse with wonderful children and a wonderful marriage of x-number of years, then say that they think their husband is having an affair, or their kids are on drugs, or their spouse is excluding them for no reason!

Or any other number of serious problems. And how often are they the real problem, but they fail to face it?

I appreciate the difficulty of writing a column like that, although the one thing you never have to worry about is, “Gee- will I have enough mail from people with problems to write a full column today?” That is the easy part- there will be plenty of mail if you offer to answer people’s problems. The hard part is being correct in determining what they should do.

These “advice columns”, as they are called, are to me a clear and present example of just how many lost sheep there are in the world, with no shepherd because they haven’t turned to God. The world is a godless place not because God isn’t present, but because the world refuses to seek Him out.

Maybe if God was to write to Dear Abby,  it would read something like this:

I have a wonderful relationship with many of my children, which has lasted since I created them, and I have had a lot of kids, but there are so many of them that just won’t listen to me. I have given them life, food, water, and shelter; I have told them and showed them how much I love them, and yet most of them look to others for love. They sell their souls to my worst enemy because he offers them the things I know are bad for them. I just feel like they don’t love me anymore, and it was so nice in the beginning. All I want is for them to have a wonderful and joyous existence, but they just don’t want to listen to me. What can I do? I even sacrificed my first born son so they can have these things, but they reject Him, too. Here I have given them the opportunity to have total joy and peace, forever, and they choose something that feels nice for a moment but will lead to eternal pain! Help me, Abby! What can I do or say that I haven’t done already to make them listen to me?

That’s a tough one. I don’t know if Abby can handle this one: I know I have no “pat” answer. I guess the only answer one could offer is that this is how some people are- they just refuse to listen, to do what is best. Maybe God needs a bit of a wake-up call, i.e., maybe we need to suggest to God that when He gave us free will He set Himself up for heartache. If we, as humans, can make our own choices about what we want to do, then there will be those that will choose the wrong things.  And God, since you did give those kids their own choice, knowing that their hearts are sinful and self-absorbed, why would you be surprised when they choose the enemy’s choice tidbits and immediate rewards instead of the hard road that You offer? True, Your Son Yeshua went through a lot to make it possible for your children to find their way home again, but that path is hard because it goes against the world’s desires. You offer them the best that there could ever be, but not when they want it, and not the way they like it.

That’s true, isn’t it? God offers us eternal joy and peace, but not the way we want it, and not when we want it. Maybe God knows better than we do?  Maybe God knows something we don’t? Maybe this life isn’t all there is, and maybe this life wasn’t meant to be all we have?

Maybe, just maybe, this life is nothing more than preschool for eternity? Really! In preschool we learn to develop our muscles and motor skills, we develop our social skills, we learn to play with others, we learn how to speak better, to do things better, and we even get sick faster, which gives us anti-bodies which make us stronger and healthier when we grow up.

Preschool is how we learn to survive in the world, and life is what we are given to make our choice where we will spend eternity.

Maybe the answer to the question I hypothesize above is simply that God knew what He was doing when He created us, and when He gave us free will, and He has done all that He can do. Just keep loving us, and be happy for the ones that choose Him over the world and the enemy. He has made salvation available to all His children, but only a very few, a remnant, will choose life.

This past weekend we were reminded of the choice that Yeshua made for all of us: He chose to do His Father’s will. It cost Him a lot at the moment, but He gained everything that there ever will be that is truly wonderful. And He gained it not just for Himself, but for every one of us. All we need to do is accept it.

Many, many people, and most of the ones I know and love in my own circle of friends and family, have chosen to accept only what they want to accept, even when (I think) in their heart of hearts they know they have chosen what is easy and not really what they need to choose. It is easier to think that all I need to be is a “good person” and I will go to heaven, which is what many people are taught. If that is true, then why did Yeshua have to die? What is “good”, after all? Is it “good” according to the world or “good” according to God? If God is the judge, then shouldn’t you be doing what He considers “good?” He tells us what He considers “good”- doing everything in the Torah. It’s that simple- live your life in total accordance with the Torah and you will be “good” according to God’s definition. Well, “good” luck with that! No one ever has (except Yeshua, of course), and even though it isn’t all that hard, we just can’t do it. Not every minute of every day. So what is left? Yeshua’s sacrificial death, that’s what: and that is why being “good” isn’t going to be “good” enough! So wake up, people! Get with the program! You need to accept Yeshua as your Messiah AND you need to accept your own sinfulness. You’re NOT a good person; at least, not in comparison with God’s definition. That’s OK- it doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means you are a human being.

Accept who you are and what you are so that you can accept Him. Being baptised when you aren’t even old enough to know your right hand from your left isn’t going to make any difference, and going through some religious ceremony (when you are told by parents and religious leaders alike that you have to do this ) won’t make any difference, either. Catechism, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Baptism, Confirmation: none of it matters if you did it because you were told you had to, and not because you wanted to choose God. That’s a hard word to hear, but it is one that will set your feet on the path to life, so take the carrots out of your ears and hear! As Yeshua said, “Let him who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

I am saddened when I read about these poor lost souls who need to get personal and spiritual guidance from a newspaper. Nothing against the people writing these columns, but really? A total stranger in a cubicle somewhere is telling me how to be loved and how to treat others? Isn’t all that in the Bible? Didn’t God tell us how to live, how to treat others and how they should treat us? Can an advice columnist give me eternal joy? Can a newspaper be as influential as the Bible? Is the Op-Ed better for me than the Word of God?

Go to the source, read the ultimate User’s Manual, and get your head on straight! This past weekend we have seen and heard of God’s deliverance; from Egypt, from sin, and from destruction of our very souls! Are you listening out there? If you are, and if you have made the choice Yeshua made, which was and is to do God’s will, then go out there and show people. Let your light shine on their darkness, and let them see what a difference God has made in your life.

I confess I am no better at demonstrating all the wonderful things God has done for me than anyone else. I ask you to be better than me at showing what God has done for you, so that maybe through you someone else will make the right choice.

One less letter to the newspapers, and one more soul in heaven. That’s a trade-off I can live with!

Beware of Advice

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Some days I wonder what I will write about. This was one of those mornings. I am doing the crosswords and word jumbles (can’t start the day without waking up the brain with coffee and puzzles) and wondering what I should write about, and hoping that either Dear Abby or Ask Amy might provide some kindling for the fire.

Well, thank you Ask Amy! There was a letter from a teenage girl asking about how to handle her lesbian dreams while she is in a heterosexual relationship. She loves her boyfriend but dreams about girls, and is confused. Amy’s answer is so politically correct I could hurl: she says that the girl is normal, because whether bi, hetero, gay, whatever, any sexual orientation is normal because there is no one way to be.

HUH? Where does she get this stuff from? Men have certain parts, women have certain parts, and they are designed to go together in a certain way. When Amy was a toddler was she one of those kids that forced the round peg in the square hole?

This is why we need to be so careful when reading advice or even asking it of trusted friends. For the most part, I think Amy is OK. Same for Abby (or whomever is being ‘Abby’). Overall, their advice is close enough, and they do have the nerve to tell people off, now and then. However, when it comes to sensitive topics, such as sexual orientation, they clearly don’t give a hoot about what the Bible says and go with the political “flow.”

Amy goes further to say that if something feels right it is OK. Oh, well then, that’s good advice to give a teenager. Smoking dope feels alright to me, so it must be OK. Oh, yeah, a drink and some fornication, that really feels right to me. Yes, yes…I like this advice!

I have read these columns for years (like I said above, they provide good fodder) and cannot, in all fairness, ever remember once that they gave biblical advice. Occasionally they suggest asking a clergyperson for advice, along with parents, teachers, etc., but I can’t remember ever reading where they say to see what God has to say about it. And never have I read that they even hint at the fact that hetero-sexual relationships are the ones we are designed for, and the ones that God says are not just normal, but the only correct way to be.

I have known many people who are gay, and I have family members and friends who are gay; I accept them and love them for who they are. That doesn’t mean I have to agree that what they do is right. Yet, I am a “gay-basher” for even suggesting that their way of life is not normal and correct. It’s funny: people who live outside the realm of “normal” always argue that they are abused and persecuted and all they want is the right to live their life as they choose. But, say even a word against their choice and you are abusive, bigoted, and have no right to say what you say or think what you think.

In other words, I have a right to reject your idea of normality but you have no right to reject mine. Hypocrites!

I will agree that homosexuality is normal, not as an acceptable lifestyle, but normal as a part of humanity that has been around as long as we know. It is rife throughout the Bible, and it is “normally” found in society. That doesn’t make it right or good. In the same light, crime is also normal. As is sickness and hatred and disease and marriage and love and everything else that is “human.” Being human means being sinful, and therefore, even sin is ‘normal.’

In fact, it is more “normal” to be sinful than it is to be holy. Big surprise there, right?

So, keep giving advice Amy, go for it, Abby! Just YOU, the reader, keep in mind that the advice you read is tainted with human sinfulness and political correctness, and if you want to know what God says, you won’t find it in the newspaper (well, maybe the article Billy Graham writes.)

There is one place you can go to get good advice, and that is (of course) the Bible. Let the Ruach (Spirit) be your guide when you interpret when your read (go to the Search button at the bottom of the page and search for ‘bible interpretation’ to see some blogs on proper bible interpretation.)

The Bible is the only advice you can trust.

Trust in God, do as He says as best you can, and always always always remember this one absolute fact: we are all sinful by nature, so if you are doing something that seems right to you, you should probably stop and think about it. I know that sounds very dogmatic, but it is (I think) a good self-check. Just because something feels “good” or “right” doesn’t make it right, or bad, for that matter. It just means we should remember we are sinful and therefore everything that we do needs to be tested against the Bible. If it passes the Bible test, then go for it. Of course, remember what Shaul (Paul) said- everything in moderation.

So take everything you hear with a “grain of salt” and test it against the Bible. This is not what society tells you to do, but it is what God tells us all to do. And when it comes down to it, God will be the final judge, so why would you not want to make sure He is okay with what you do.

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you don’t mess around with Him! 

Now that’s good advice you can trust.  🙂