Tag: forgiveness

Freedom through forgiveness

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We all struggle to be free of things that bother us, don’t we? We want to be free of our debts, free from the drudgery of a meaningless job with no future, free of our bad habits, and more than anything, I think, free of our pain. Especially emotional pain.

We can be free of debt through careful financial management, we can be free of a go-nowhere job by educating ourselves and making ourselves more valuable in the job market, and we can free ourselves of bad habits through group rehab.

Many people seek therapy, but to be rid of emotional pain therapy isn’t always the best answer. I believe the best way to gain freedom from your emotional pain is to forgive the causer of that pain.

In my experience people just don’t understand how forgiveness works. They think that forgiving someone makes that person right with God, and by forgiving them it justifies what they did.

Not so.

Forgiveness actually has nothing to do, whatsoever, with what they did or their relationship with God, and has everything to do with your relationship with God.

Yeshua (Jesus) tells us we are commanded to forgive; in fact, in Matthew 6:15 He tells us if we do not forgive on earth then we won’t be forgiven in heaven. That’s a pretty powerful statement; it comes right after He teaches us the way we should pray, which tells us to ask that we be forgiven as we forgive others. That is a statement of cause and effect: forgive me for my sins against Thee using the same level of forgiveness that I extend to those who have sinned against me.

In other words, when it comes to forgiveness, I am asking God to do unto me as I do unto others.

The sinner who has hurt you will have to face God in the Acharit HaYamim (End Days), and your forgiveness of that person will have no bearing on that case. It will, however, be considered when you are standing “on the carpet.”

One of the the fruits of your salvation can be shown through your willingness and ability to forgive others. The end result, the reward (if you will) for doing as God says is the release from the pain. When you forgive, you are released from the pain of that event. Not right away, and not always completely, but it will happen (eventually) and you will feel better.

One “trick” I have learned is to pray for the one who has hurt you. Pray for their salvation because, as in my personal life, someone who has hurt me terribly is also someone that I know is in great pain herself, and needs the love of the Lord more than anyone I have ever met. I feel pity for this person, who will have to face God; and when she does, He will strip the Teflon off her body and all that she has done will come back upon her and stick to her skin like shingles. When you think of that pain and suffering, the emotional futility of having lived a lifetime of being unaccountable, then suddenly and completely, without any means of escaping the truth, have all the things you have ignored and shuffled off as everyone else’s fault come down on your head like a ton of bricks…I can’t imagine the horror and pain that will cause. And to top it off, you get a one-way ticket to Hell.

When you think of it, if you know the love and compassion and forgiveness that God has had for you, how can you feel anything but remorse and pity for this poor soul? The imagery just makes you want to forgive them, doesn’t it? If not, you’ve better do some serious talking with God.

It’s simple- forgiveness is God’s aspirin for the emotional pain of being sinned against.

Take two, and call me in the afterlife.

Parashah B’Midbar (In the Desert) Numbers 1 – 4:20

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We begin the 4th book of the Torah.

God commands that a census be taken so that we know how many we have that are able to serve, both in the military and for the service of the Tabernacle. We are also reminded that all the first born belong to God, both of people and of animals, because God took all the firstborn of the Egyptians as a ransom for His people, Israel.

The Levites are counted separately and their first born are ransom for the first born of the other tribes.

Here we can see, again, the consistency of God: everything belongs to God. Everything that grows, everything human, everything animal, everything- of the produce we give a tenth to God, and all the first born we give to God. From our tithe the Levite takes their portion, and as a sort of return, the Levites supply the first born to God from their tribe as a way of paying back the other tribes.

That’s a little convoluted, and it’s my own way of looking at that arrangement- I hope I explained it well enough so that (at least) some of you may understand what I mean.

Taking a census is OK, so long as it is in accordance with God’s commandment. This census was taken to identify who can serve doing what, and is needed now because the people are about to travel to the Promised Land. The Tabernacle needs to be moved and the people need to know who will be responsible for protecting them as they travel. God also identifies how, exactly, the camp is to be arranged and the order of travel.

We are also told that those who are unclean must be kept outside the camp because God is in the camp and nothing unclean may be near Him. OK- that sounds fine. If you are unclean you can’t be in the same place where God is, that makes sense….and then it hit me: inside the camp there is protection, but outside the camp you are exposed to the world without protection. And if attacked, you can’t go into the camp- you are unclean. You have enemies all around you; not that your own people are your enemy, but as long as you are unclean, they are not allowed to help or protect you.

When we sin or disobey God, we are unclean. As such, we are no longer under His protection- we are “outside of the camp”, aren’t we? God tells us of all that He will do to bless us when we are “clean”, i.e., obeying Him. And He also tells us all the terrible things that will happen to us when we ignore and disobey Him. We read this in Leviticus and we are told this, over and over, throughout the Torah. The best place to get this listing of blessings and curses will come later, in Deuteronomy (Chapter 28.)

Sin not only separates us from God, but since we are outside the camp when we are unclean, it separates us from each other, as well. We may be physically close, but we are spiritually separated, and eventually that spiritual uncleanliness will show itself in our actions. Then we will be physically forced away from other Believers, because our actions will show we are no longer clean enough to be in the camp, spiritually or physically.

Sin excommunicates us, one way or another.

Does that mean if I do wrong I am no longer a child of God? Heavens no! We all sin, and there is a BIG difference between sinning without care and sinning without meaning to. When we sin, thanks to Yeshua, we can be cleansed then and there. And when we do T’shuvah in our hearts, the uncleanness that sin causes can be washed away ASAP when we ask for forgiveness. We can be back in the camp in a heartbeat, or (more accurately) in a prayer.

Those who were physically unclean had to wait until sundown, but we can be cleansed immediately. We can remain in the camp, where God walks with us, and that is all thanks to Yeshua and to God, who keeps His promises, especially the ones made through Yeshua ha Maschiach.

We all will sin now and then- we can’t help it, really, but we can regret it. Regretting it will lead to T’shuvah, which will lead to confession, which will lead to requesting forgiveness in Yeshua’s name, which will cleanse us and we will be able to re-enter the camp.

Outside the camp is a dangerous and scary place- you do not want to be there.

Are we praying respectfully?

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Shaul (Paul) says that we should pray constantly. I talk to God a lot. I have gotten into the habit of praying to God in the morning, while I am driving to work. I used to have a long drive, so there was plenty of prayer time. Now I have the shortest commute to work since I was in the service and lived across the street, literally, from the base. But I still can pray while driving, and during the day, and at night, and every time I have a close call, or whenever I feel upset, or…well, you get the idea.

But is that respectful? I mean, is it respectful enough for the Lord of lords and King of kings?

I confess my prayers are not. I feel bad admitting to this, but I often will start in with a prayer and find myself wandering off in thought, leaving God “on hold” while I tangentially go off onto some other subject.

For instance, I will always pray that my children reconcile to me and to God, and that we can be mishpocha (family) again, centered on God.  Then I think of how I can do something to make that happen, then I go off on explaining to them why I had to leave that marriage, then before I know it I am at work and the prayer time has devolved into “me” time.

I left God on hold while answering another call. That’s not very respectful.

I hate it when I do that, and I do that a lot. I mean, a whole lotsa times!

I believe that God is so compassionate and understanding that He is not insulted, but He is still God. He deserves better than that and I have to get better at being more respectful in my prayers.

Yeshua was asked by His Talmudim (students, or Disciples) how they should pray, and He told them how- read Matthew 6:9-16. That isn’t just a prayer, it is the template for all prayer.

We start by recognizing who and what God is; only after giving God the glory and honor He deserves can we then ask for ourselves. And when we ask for ourselves, we ask for only what we need to get by that day. This represents our faith and trust in God to always provide what we need. We shouldn’t ask for a week’s worth of manna because the amount He gives us is enough. It’s enough for today, and we should know and believe He will do the same, tomorrow.

Next we ask for forgiveness of our sins, which we should do before we intercede for anyone else. Just as the Cohen HaGadol (High Priest) made atonement for himself before he asked for forgiveness of the people, we should come to God for forgiveness, through Yeshua, so that when we ask God to help others we are coming before Him cleansed and pure.

Then we stick our necks out and literally put our salvation where our mouth is: we tell God that He should forgive us as we forgive others. This is also what Yeshua warns us about in verses 6:14-15. As we forgive, we will be forgiven. As we judge, we shall be judged. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, limb for limb. If we are not willing to forgive on Earth, God will not forgive us in heaven, and this is something that we should remind ourselves of every time we ask for forgiveness. That’s why not only does Yeshua tell us to incorporate it in every prayer, but He emphasized that point after He finished telling them how to pray. Believe it- if you cannot forgive, if you refuse to forgive, then you are not truly saved. You haven’t done T’Shuvah (turn from sin) , you haven’t allowed the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) into your heart, you haven’t held up your end of the bargain!

Salvation is free for the asking, but it is not guaranteed. That’s right- all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved: but getting salvation is not keeping salvation.

If you don’t show that you have truly turned from your sins, then you can speak the words all you like- it won’t help. God isn’t stupid, and if you don’t show in your actions, especially in your forgiveness of others, that you have turned from sin and are being obedient to God, then you haven’t really changed. Just speaking the words is not enough- you can’t talk your way into heaven- you have to bring an offering before the Lord.

God tells us a couple of times that we should not come before Him empty handed (look it up- you can find it easily in Exodus and Deuteronomy regarding the Festival of Unleavened Bread.) I am taking this past the literal meaning (the P’shat) and making a small Drash on it: when we come to God here on earth we should bring to Him something, such as unleavened bread, a sacrifice, first fruits- something that He has provided for us that we bring back the very best we have, as a thank offering to Him. The best, the very best thing we can offer to God is obedience. Therefore, since we can’t bring bread or lambs or fruit of the vine to Him when we come before Him at Judgement Day, we bring the fruit of our obedience. We bring before the Lord our good works, we bring our personal and financial sacrifices that we made in His service, we bring to God the forgiveness we have shown to others while we were alive. We bring to God what He wants- we bring the proof of our T’Shuvah.

If you don’t have something to bring before God when that time comes, don’t expect to get past the gates. At least, not the pearly ones.

We also ask God to protect us from temptation.

Finally, our prayers end where they started- recognizing the awesomeness of God.

I have been praying to God for nearly (or should I say, only)  two decades- I was a late starter. And in that time I have digressed more often during my prayer than I care to admit to, but I confess it. I have to own my sin before I can give it away to God.

I constantly try to pray more respectfully, and I constantly end up asking God to forgive me when I digress. Sometimes, when I know my brain is off on a holiday, I will just thank God for everything and leave it at that, before I go off on a tangent.

Prayer is necessary, prayer should be constant, and constantly presented to God in a respectful manner.

who’s the real victim?

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Did you see in the news lately that Bill Cosby’s (upcoming) trial has already started action to initiate new laws that will extend the Statute of Limitations for sexual abuse cases?

First of all, let me state, unequivocally, that sexual abuse is wrong and that those who practice it should be punished.

Let me also state, just as unequivocally, that we are all responsible to immediately report wrong-doing, and that memories do not become more accurate as we age; in truth, they do just the opposite. How many of us know someone who has related a life-event over the years that has become more exciting and less accurate as time goes by? The person relating the event believes it is true, but for those of us listening, we know that the story has changed, over and over.

People who have done wrong should be punished, true- but what about forgiveness? I often state that sin will always have consequences in this existence, but it is the spiritual, the eternal existence that counts. Forgiveness from God (through Yeshua, the Messiah) is what we need, and forgiveness of a sin by the one who has been wronged, in this physical existence, is what the person who was hurt needs, now. The hurt never goes away without forgiveness.

God will forgive us as we forgive others, meaning- we get what we give. Check out Matthew 6:14-15.

I believe that those who have been sexually abused have an obligation to themselves and to others to report it then and there! Yes, it is embarrassing. Yes, it is painful. Yes, it is something we would rather not be associated with and want to forget. But that doesn’t change the fact that the person doing it to you will do it to someone else. If you don’t have enough self-respect and strength to report abuse for your sake, then do it to protect others. Don’t wait until it’s 20 or 30 years later, when both you and the other person might be totally different people, and who knows how many others may have been caused to suffer.

The bible says that if a sinner turns from his or her sin, then they will be forgiven. And if a righteous person becomes a sinner, they will die the second death. Even if a life-long sinner genuinely does T’shuvah (turn from sin) on their death bed, that person will be forgiven.

Crimes against others, especially sexual crimes, can have long-lasting effects. That is mostly, from what I have read and seen, because the victim doesn’t ever do anything about it.

When I was a teenager, I worked the night to morning shift at a 24 hour restaurant (Jack in the Box). One night a young man, harmless looking, came in and sweet-talked us into helping him with his Master’s program (or some such story) regarding rewards and punishments. It meant we went into the attic and answered questions, with bare-butt paddling as the negative reinforcement. All three of us went up to the attic, one at a time and yes- I allowed him to bare-butt paddle me. I was just an innocent, Long Island bred, white, middle-class protected child. The others said they didn’t allow it, but I don’t believe them. Afterwards, I knew it was wrong, told my parents and we filed a police report. As I recall, the police did know the person but I never found out what happened.

Because I did the right thing, I feel no regret or embarrassment- the thing to remember about those that prey on others is that they are really, really good at it, and we are, as a species, really, really stupid. When we accept that we are a trusting and gullible people, being a victim isn’t as traumatic.

If Bill Cosby is guilty, he will be punished, but this entire incident is a shame because one of the most beloved celebrities of our day is ruined, no matter what the outcome. And all the fond memories of his past activities are also ruined. I feel a personal loss because of this, don’t you? If he did these things, he deserves punishment, but 30 years later? At some point, when do we learn to let go and move on?

That’s the real issue, isn’t it? Forgiving and moving on. We like to be the victim, we prefer to accept the pity that the world gives to victims instead of realizing that we should be chastised for being a coward and unconcerned about the safety of others by refusing to come forward at the time it happens.

I believe the victim should be held just as responsible to report the abuse as the abuser should be held responsible for abusing the victim. And if that means telling them that it is too late now, too much time has gone by, then so be it!

The Statute of Limitations should be a reasonable time after the incident; the facts should be reported immediately while they are still accurately remembered. Extending the law that has been on the books for a long time already just because of one case is an over-reaction. If the accused had been some Joe Blow from Nowheresville, no one would care. But just because it is a well-known celebrity, some politician who wants to get his or her name on a law is making a big deal out of it.

Bill Cosby has become the victim now- not of sexual abuse, but of self-empowering and power-hungry politicians.

We don’t want someone to “get away” with doing wrong. Well, sure- that’s how we should feel. That’s why God invented punishment. Duh! And the guilty will be punished- if not here on earth, then when they face the Lord on the Day of Judgment.

But what if they atone and ask forgiveness? Do we then punish them? Doesn’t Yeshua say to forgive not 7 times, but 70 times 7 times? If someone does something wrong on earth, which means some innocent person will suffer for it (the innocent always do), then that person should be punished. It is right, it is morally the thing to do, it is biblical.

I think the answer, at least for me, is to forgive but not totally forget. In other words, forgive someone who asks to be forgiven (actually, forgive them even if they don’t ask- what they do or don’t do isn’t what God is concerned with: God is concerned with what you do when you have been sinned against), render fair and proper punishment, then accept them back. BUT- you don’t have to trust them. Not until they have earned it.

And report wrong-doing. Even if you are embarrassed, even if the memory is painful- do it for yourself, do it to protect others, do it because it is not just the right thing to do but what God commands you to do (Leviticus 5:1):

If you are called to testify about something you have seen or that you know about, it is sinful to refuse to testify, and you will be punished for your sin.

Not reporting evil is allowing it to continue, and you are just as guilty as the person doing the evil. We MUST prevent evil by reporting it. Look to your history, look to the Nazi’s, look back further to Japan attacking China, look back further to slavery in the New World, look back further to…well, you get the point. What we fail to fight, we empower to continue.

Don’t let evil continue- report evil wherever and whenever you see it, even if it is a personally painful and embarrassing thing. If you let it alone, it will never go away.

 

Aspirin for the Soul

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Is there anyone out there without some level of pain in their soul? I know the pain of missing my children, who have been torn from me by a hateful and unforgiving mother I divorced nearly a quarter of a century ago. I visited the children every weekend for the first couple of years (I lived a 1 1/2 hour drive away, if there was no NY traffic. And there’s no such thing as “no traffic” when talking about New York City), took them to the beach, to parks, to movies. I spent money I didn’t have at first, and when I did have money, I spent more of it on them. I did all I could to teach them to be self-aware, considerate and able to get along with others. It was all against what their mother had taught them, which was that they are the center of everything, they are just children so they aren’t responsible for themselves; if they have a reason ‘why’ that is a valid excuse so they don’t have to be responsible for what they do, don’t do, say or don’t say. And as soon as they reached majority, even though we still sent them money, they decided that they didn’t need to have me in their lives anymore. I was treating them as adults, not excusing them, and trying to get them to see how what they had been taught would make them outcasts. So I became the outcast.

It hurts. It has been nearly 4 years since my son disowned me, and about 7 for my daughter. She will be 29 next month, and he will be 24 in October. I still send them birthday cards, remind them how much I miss them and still love them, and ask for reconciliation. At whatever level they are comfortable with. I don’t know what is going on in their lives, and what really kills me is that I know, without a doubt, that if (God forbid) something serious happened, or even if they died, their mother wouldn’t even tell me.

That’s my biggest hurt, and it is a big one, isn’t it? Yet I go on. I don’t mope, I don’t complain (well, not nearly as much as I used to) and I tell you this now only to demonstrate that there is hope for those who have this kind of hurt.

It is the hope we have in Messiah, the knowledge that God loves everyone, and in the power of prayer.

I pray for my children, and I pray for their mother. Yes, I do, and I mean it, which surprised me more than anyone when I started doing it. That is the aspirin for our soul- forgiveness. The pain of being hurt is never going to go away if we review it, rehearse what we want to say to the person who has hurt us, and refuse to accept that they must be hurting, inside, even more than they hurt us to do such a terrible thing. That’s what really got me on the right track- when I thought about the pain she was going through, the hurt, the feeling of desertion and rejection, which is what I was doing. Yes- I was leaving her. I had many, many good reasons for doing that, and even though I was no longer in love with her, I still waited for two years before divorcing her, legally. That was time for her to do T’shuvah, to turn from her prideful hatred and decide which was more important- the marriage or her pridefulness.

We all know what decision she made.

So, what did I have left except the pain? I had more pain to come- constant berating by her every time I visited, my children repeating the foul accusations she made against me and my parents to my face when I was with them, and many other atrocities.

I am so grateful to God and the Ruach HaKodesh for teaching me that the only way to overcome the pain of this situation was to pray for them and forgive them, only after doing that could I ask His forgiveness for them.

Oh, now- don’t get the wrong idea. This wasn’t something that came to me right away: it took years and years for me to get to the point where I didn’t talk about it all the time to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot. Then it took years after I was saved for me to realize that forgiveness was the only way to relieve the pain. The pain persists, so long as the reason for it persists, but forgiveness and prayer is how I deaden and dull the pain. It is my hope for the future and my trust in God to do all He will to help turn my children back to me (although I know that it has to be their decision), and when I think of the pain and suffering that her hatefulness has caused her, all her life, I can’t help but feel pity for my “ex”.  No matter how much she has hurt me, I have God and the promise of eternal joy to look forward to. When I think of what she has to look forward to, how can I not pity her and pray for her salvation?

Even Ebeneezer Scrooge would have removed some of the chain that Jacob Marley had to wear, if he could have.

Forgiveness is the only way to stop the pain that we have when someone hurts us.

Proverbs tells us to feed and give water to our enemies, David showed respect and forgiveness to King Saul, sparing his life even though he was trying to take David’s; Yeshua tells us to leave our gift at the alter if there is any animosity between us and someone else, and also that we should love our enemies.

And Yeshua also tells us, in Matthew 6:14-15, that if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. That’s a hard word to hear, but it is essential we understand it. Forgiveness has nothing to do, really, with the person we forgive, and everything to do with our relationship with God. When anyone sins it is, first and foremost, a sin against God. David knew that and says so in Psalm 51. The person who sins against another is sinning against God. That needs to be worked out between them, and nothing we do will make much of a difference. God will not forgive them if they do not ask for it, no matter how often we ask for it.

So, then ,why should we ask for their forgiveness? Because it is important to maintain our proper relationship with God, that’s why. Because we need to forgive them to stop the pain, that’s why. Because we are commanded to forgive, that’s why!

To err is human; to forgive, divine. That is a truth that is not written in the bible, but is exactly what the bible teaches us.

We all have some pain- how can we possibly avoid it living in a cursed world?  So what? Pain is part of life: for a headache we take aspirin, for a backache we take Ibuprofen, and for the heartache of being sinned against, we take a daily dose of prayer with a glassful of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is aspirin for your soul, and prayer is the way to administer it. Pray for those who hate you, forgive those who sin against you, and you will survive the pain.

And besides that, you will please God, who will bless you for your obedience.

That’s a pretty good remedy: you forgive, which relieves the pain, and then you receive blessings from God.

 

You can’t change the past

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I know that sounds like a, “Duh! Really?” statement, but how many people do you know that seem to live in their past, always regretting things that can’t be changed?

I often review my life, and there are many, many, MANY things I would like to have done differently, and I confess that I am preaching to myself when I say that reliving past issues which cannot be changed is just plain stupid.

The emotional frustration that results from wanting something to be different, coupled with the sense of helplessness when you know that you can’t do anything about it, is maddening. It is a waste not only of time, but of emotional energy and it drains our spirits. It leaves us open to attack from the enemy, which is really not something we want to do.

So, nu? What is the answer? It is so simple to do, and so hard to do: just let it go.

“Sure, Steve- just ‘let it go’. Gee whiz, why didn’t I think of that?”

Yes, it is stating the obvious, but the obvious things in life are so often overlooked, aren’t they? We need to let it go, to give up trying to change what can’t be changed. For those rare cases where we may be able to get passed the past, to re-connect and start anew, we should be willing to apologize and/or forgive. That is the first step, then we can work towards building that relationship up again. Depending on the situation, it may never be the same relationship as before, but that may not be such a bad thing, after all. Some people change, some people don’t, and if you have one dynamic person with a static person, somethings gotta give, sooner or later.

God is wonderfully static- He is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. And what is really great about that is that God doesn’t have to change because He is perfect! We need to change because we aren’t perfect, and change can go in either direction: for the better, or for the worse. When something happens that changes a relationship in our life, whether we caused it or not, once done it can’t be undone. It can be worked around, it can be forgiven and forgotten, or it can cause pain and frustration for the rest of your life.

But you can’t change the past.

And it’s not just your choice- something that happens between two or more people cannot be overcome if even just one of the participants refuses to work towards repairing the rift. In that case, you move on. You allow them the right to choose how they want to live, you forgive them (to get rid of your pain- the only way to get past a hurt is to forgive) and you move on, keeping your eyes on the prize, calling on the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) to help you (remember- Yeshua called it the Comforter, so use it to comfort yourself) and praying for the other people involved.

I have found that no matter how badly someone has hurt me, when I pray for them it is easier to forgive them, and when I forgive them (even though I still have trouble getting totally over it) it is easier to let go. Try it- you’ll like it. It really works!

Letting go means forgiving: you may need to forgive the other person, or you may need to forgive yourself. Through forgiving you can let go of the pain, and when you pray for them you are doing what God wants you to do (Matthew 5:44, Proverbs 25:22), because God knows it will help you.

Those who can’t stop living in the past can’t have a fulfilling future- don’t drag your anchor all through life. Let it go, ask God for help, and move on. Salvation is just around the corner, so why are you still sitting there?

Walking or Wavering?

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In the letter Yakov (James) wrote to the Jewish Believers (not Christians, mind you, but Jewish Believers) in Jerusalem, he was talking about asking for things from God, and how we must be faithful when we ask. In James 1:5-7 he says:

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,…

Wow! Here is the brother of Yeshua (Jesus) saying that if we falter or are unsure of ourselves when we pray to God we shouldn’t expect that God will take that into account and still answer our prayers.

Heavy, Man!

Heavy? Yes. Unfair? No, well…to humans it may seem unfair, but God’s way is not our way.

Think about it from His perspective: if He enables us to be weak and unfaithful in what we do then how will we be able to stand against the attacks from the enemy of God?  Satan knows our weaknesses and our doubts- he works with them. God will strengthen us but the enemy works the opposite way, in that the enemy will weaken our faith by placing doubt in our minds. He will attack God by creating events that make us feel God is ignoring us, that God lies to us and that God doesn’t love us. The enemy will attack God by attacking our faith in God.

The enemy wants us to doubt that God will deliver on His promises.

That’s why God has to strengthen our faith by making us work at it. We are, by nature, lazy and we want to be led, that is what the enemy works with when steering us away from God. God, on the other hand, is trying to get us to work towards Him. He makes us exercise our spiritual muscles by forcing us to work at being faithful.

The Greek mythical hero, Theseus, recovered his fathers sword and shield by constantly trying to lift a large rock they had been buried under. Once he was strong enough to move the rock, he recovered these things, which were proof of his parentage and right to the throne.

We have a similar task: the large rock we need to lift is our doubts and our faithlessness, which we need to move out of our way in order to receive what our Father (in heaven) has placed there for us: salvation.

We talk about those who will take the mark and those who will not, but we forget to think about the ones who will turn from the faith in the tribulation. Revelations tells us that many, in some texts it says most (meaning more than 50%) will turn from their faith in God to take the mark of the enemy.

That scares the heck out of me! It should scare you, too, because if you are saying to yourself, “That’s not me- I will never take the mark!”  I am right there with you. Except that I am not so sure of myself because I know my faith needs more strengthening, I know I can’t move that rock, not yet, and I need to be able to. It’s my fear of my weakness that keeps me alert and aware.

God will turn us from base metal, slag even, into beautifully refined gold. But we need to go through the fire to get there. The enemy will not do that- he will give us whatever we want, make our lives easy, peaceful, joyful, a hedonists’ wonderland and grant us (initially) everything and anything we want.

This is why Yakov tells us that we shouldn’t expect anything from God if we are unsure of His faithfulness, which is what our faithlessness reveals about us. That is a little hard to understand, so let me rephrase it:

When we are not sure God will do as He says, it means we think God is not able to deliver on His promises. That is what the enemy wants us to think, and it is easier for humans, self-absorbed and egocentric as we are, to believe that God is at fault for not answering prayers than it is to think that it is because of our unfaithful attitude that we don’t receive.

Faith is hard…very hard….to achieve, and even harder to maintain. It is by faith alone we are saved, and it is our faith that gives us the strength and perseverance to maintain our belief and trust in God. And when the fecal matter comes into contact with the air circulation unit, we better have strong and dependable faith.

It isn’t God’s responsibility to answer prayers as much as it is our responsibility to ask faithfully believing that He can answer them. Not that He will, but that He can. God always has the right to say, “No.” to a request from Him. Just because He decides that prayer is not going to be answered doesn’t mean He won’t answer other prayers.

That’s what it means to not waver, to keep walking even if the ground slants, or gets rocky, or we aren’t sure why we have to go this way and not that way. We need to walk with a sure step, with our eyes on the finish line, and not waver from this side to that side.  We will probably slip and fall along the way; in fact, more than just once or twice, but God will always be there to pick us up. All the time, so long as we reach out to Him and ask for help. That is one prayer I believe He will always answer- a prayer for help.

All prayers should be submitted to God with the total belief that He is able to answer, even if He doesn’t. Even if His answer is, “Not yet”; even if His answer is, “Maybe later”; even if His answer is, “No way, Jose!”

It’s not about whether or not God answers your prayers, it’s all about believing that He can. If you can handle that truth without being upset or feeling that it is unfair, then you have proper faith and a properly respectful and humble attitude. That’s a good start, but it’s just a start. Very few of us can really lift that rock yet.

I know I can’t lift the rock, not all the way: I need to get back to that rock and keep trying.

We each of us have to work at “lifting the rock” of our faithfully believing in God’s ability to do what he says He will do. We need to walk, not waver, we need to stand firm, not bend in the wind, and we need to trust God, no matter what anyone else tells us or what happens to us.

It’s a big rock that hides our crown of victory, but it can be moved. We just need to keep at it.

salvation received is not salvation guaranteed

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Many people are taught that all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. That’s accurate but not absolute.  God will forgive us if we ask for it, and prove we mean it by doing T’shuvah (turn from sin), which will be to live our life showing that we reject sin, accept Yeshua as our Savior and follow the leading of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) as our guide and comforter.

Otherwise, the salvation God is willing to grant us will be lost- not taken away (no one can take away that which God has given you), but thrown away.

Let’s look at the warnings in the Bible about this:

Hebrews 6:4-6   For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.

2 Peter 2:20-22  For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”

James 5:19-20   My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Matthew 24:10  At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other

These warnings against falling away from the truth and the way clearly state that these people had known the Lord and were “saved” but chose to return to their sinful life.

Too often people are taught that once you are saved, you are always saved. And that is true, but only from the perspective that God will forgive you when you ask in Yeshua’s name. But that is not the end of it- it is only the beginning. When a slate is wiped clean, there is nothing on it. But when we come before God we are not to come before Him empty handed (Exodus 23:15 and again in Deuteronomy 16:16). As such, the slate He has wiped clean with the blood of Messiah Yeshua better have some real good writing on it (i.e., works of faith) when we bring it back to the Lord at Judgment Day. Look to the parable of the servants given talents by their master (Matthew 25:14-30.) The one who did nothing with what he had been given was not allowed into the master’s joy- he was thrown out into the darkness.

Yes, we are saved when we call on the Lord, when we ask for forgiveness in Yeshua’s name, and when we truly do T’shuvah. We are forgiven our sins, thus “saved” from them, but we are just starting the journey to salvation. It is a long and hard road, treacherous and difficult to stay on. And if we lose our way we may be lost, forever. The Ruach HaKodesh is our GPS system, but if we neglect the “Turn right in a quarter mile” when we hear it, often enough, we will become totally lost. And when that happens, as is human nature, we will deny it was our fault and blame the GPS for not giving us the right information.

What is your GPS? Is it the Holy Spirit? Is it a religious leader, like a Rabbi or Priest or Pastor? Is it some self-help guru? Is it a “fad” religion?  There is only one true, reliable and proven GPS for salvation: God’s Word. And I mean the entire bible, which is Genesis through Revelations. Heck- you should even take a look at the maps at the end, just to make sure you don’t miss anything!

Salvation is promised by God to those who ask for it, but it is then our job to use His gift, to give Him back more talents than He gave us, and to have useful writing on the slate He cleared when we come before Him. James said faith without works is dead (James 2:14) so don’t kill yourself right after God gives you back your life.

One last parable to show salvation received is not salvation guaranteed is the parable about the spirit that was removed and then returned with 7 other spirits (Luke 11:24); again this demonstrates, unquestionably, that a person who has been “cleansed” can still be made “dirty” again if that person just does nothing with the gift he or she has been given. So make sure that you write on your slate, that you invest your talents, that you do not leave your house empty- make sure you use the gift of salvation or you will find yourself in the same place those who we read about in Matthew 7:22-23.

Will Rogers once said:

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Please- don’t sit on your salvation.

Hate is Easy and Love is Hard

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That isn’t so much of a revelation, is it?

How many of us have had a “falling out” with someone? Usually it’s over something that isn’t really that important, but was at the time we had the falling out. And how much easier is it to just accept that relationship is over than it is to make contact and try to revive that friendship? Hating is easier, hating is what comes natural to sinful beings (like all of us, myself included) and hating is safer.

Yes, safer. Safer because when we try to mend a hurt, we take the chance that we will be hurt again. At Rosh HaShanah it is a tradition to go to one you may have sinned against or hurt and ask forgiveness. I did this, once, to the mother of my children about two years after we had separated. I apologized for any hurtful things I had done and asked forgiveness. What I got was an earful of hatred, spite and anger. She yelled at me, withholding her forgiveness from me as if it was necessary for my salvation. She never knew that the forgiveness she could have given to me would have made her more right with God and had nothing to do with me and God.

Forgiveness doesn’t have anything to do, really, with the person who hurt you and their relationship to God, but it has everything to do with your relationship with God. We are not commanded to ask for forgiveness- we are commanded to forgive (see Matthew 6:14-16); forgiveness of someone else makes us right with God, not them. They have to make themselves right with God.

Hatefulness comes easy to humans for all the reasons I stated above, and for one more: it just feels better. Yes, I admit that and confess it, as well. I have some family members and friends that I need to keep in touch with or they will never call me, visit me or even send me a text. If I am not on Facebook (which, by the way, I am not) then I will never know what is happening in their lives. That knowledge hurts. I love them and miss them and want to be with them, yet they don’t give a hoot about staying in touch with me. I am the one always reaching out to them, and sometimes I just feel like if I never, ever have anything else to do with them I won’t be missing anything at all. If they can’t take a few minutes out of their oh-so-very-important lives to say “Hi” or drop me a line, give me a call or even just leave me a voice mail, then screw them and the white horse they rode in on!!

That’s why love is so much harder- it takes sacrifice, it takes compassion (not one of my strong points) and it takes a high tolerance to emotional pain. Loving is giving, loving is being there when you don’t want to be, and loving is accepting the stripes that someone else deserves. And more than that! Love is doing all that and doing it willingly, without allowing yourself to feel regret you did the “right” thing or to feel animosity against the one you suffered over.

This is the kind of love Yeshua has for all of us. This is the kind of love that God has for you, right now. And it is the kind of love that they both expect you to show to others. More than expect- they require it! If you have known the loving forgiveness of God and understand the depth of the sacrifice Yeshua made so you can be forgiven, and yet you do not show (or at least try to show)  that same love to others, then you are the man Yeshua tells us about in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35).

In Matthew 16:24 Yeshua tells us how hard it is to love. He says:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

This isn’t easy, this isn’t something that comes naturally to us, and this isn’t fun. We get a sense of peace and joy from the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) when we are deep in worship, but what we get from the world is a load of crap, hatred, and persecution. Many churches teach all about God’s love, and paint a pretty picture of salvation. In the meantime, they aren’t preparing their flock for the wolves. Yeshua told His Talmudim (students) that they would be sheep among wolves, that they are to be as gentle as doves but as crafty as snakes.

There is an old saying, I am sure you have heard it, that goes, “Time heals all wounds.” I don’t think time alone heals wounds, but with proper care of the wound, putting the balm of God’s love and compassion on it daily, time will eventually overcome the pain and the wound will heal. There is another saying that is similar: it goes, “Time wounds all heels.”  Those who are not forgiving, those who hate and persecute, bully and confound, will eventually be wounded. They will feel God’s arrow of justice pierce their liver.

And if the thought that those who have sinned against you makes you feel somewhat avenged, you need top pick up that cross because you aren’t carrying it! I have been hated, and that hatred has poisoned my own children to the point where despite all the sacrifices I made to be with them and try to show them how to be self-sufficient and succeed in the world, they have rejected me and abandoned me. They hate me because they were fed the hatred and spite their mother had against me when I left the marriage (which at that time was a marriage in name only.) And when I think of the suffering they will have to go through, for all eternity, if they don’t do T’Shuvah before they die, I can’t possibly feel anything but sadness and remorse for them. It kills me that they will have to face God without Yeshua in their corner. And not just the kids, but their mother, too. Sure, I have every reason in the world to be glad that she will get what she deserves for doing what she did to me and to our children.  All the reason in the world!

But we’re not supposed to be of the world, are we?

To know me doesn’t mean you love me

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In Matthew 7:21 Yeshua tells his Talmudim (Disciples) this:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

He goes on to say that just because some people declare they did miracles and wonders in His name doesn’t mean they will enter the kingdom of heaven. In fact, he says He will tell them that He never knew them!

It seems that we get these different messages: all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10:13) yet here Yeshua says that those who call Him, “Lord! Lord!” will not be saved! And we are told that the gift of salvation is an irrevocable gift, but Yeshua says (and Paul reiterates this in his letter to Timothy) that those who hear the Word and accept it can still fall away, i.e. lose their salvation.

So is the gift of salvation truly a guarantee? When we call on the name of the Lord, are we really saved? Can we trust God?

The answer to these question is Yes….and No. Except for the last one- we can always trust God. Always. Who you can’t trust is yourself.

Yes: the gift of salvation we receive from God (through Messiah Yeshua) is guaranteed and is irrevocable. No one can take it away from you, ever. And Yes: if you call on the name of the Lord you will be saved.

The reason the answer can be No to both of these questions is because no one can take away what God has given to you, but you can throw it away.

Do you really think that if someone who is not truly repentant and calls on the name of God for salvation will receive salvation? There are so many parables Yeshua tells us that show how some are going to be able to enter the Kingdom of God and others will not because they didn’t do as they should have, even though they were there. The bridesmaids without oil, the tree in the garden that didn’t produce fruit, the slave that buried the Talent: all of these parables are clearly stating that just knowing Yeshua is the Messiah, and acknowledging that He is the Son of God, is not enough. The bible tells us that even the demons know and acknowledge who Yeshua is. You think they are going to heaven? Will they be in Paradise with God for all eternity?

I don’t think so.

The most important part of Matthew 7:21 is the end of the sentence:”… but only those who do the will of my Father who is in heaven.” We can have salvation for free, we can know absolutely that God will grant us forgiveness of sins, but if we don’t really mean it, if we haven’t done T’shuvah (turning from sin) in our hearts, and if we don’t walk the walk, then what God has done we will undue. No one can take it from us, no one can change it, and God will not renege on His promise, but the promise that we will be saved is not an unconditional promise. It is free, it can never be bought, and it can never be revoked, but….we have to do our part. God will do His part but if we don’t do our part He hasn’t weaseled out of the deal- we have.

You buy life insurance, you are guaranteed that your family will receive the benefit if you have an accidental death, and then you jump off a bridge. Do you think the insurance company will pay out on that? Of course they won’t- suicide is not an accidental death. You didn’t meet the conditions of the agreement; the insurance company’s promise is still valid and trustworthy, you are the one who failed to meet the requirements.

Calling on the Lord and receiving the gift of salvation is absolutely the best insurance policy there is. But if you continue to sin on purpose, if you never had (or don’t now have) any desire or intention of changing your sinful ways, then no matter how many times you go to church/synagogue, no matter how well you tithe, no matter how many “nice” things you do, you are going to be told, “Be gone- I never knew you.”

God isn’t stupid. He can’t be fooled, and when He says He will save you it is based upon you doing what you should do, which God has outlined very clearly in the Torah.

If you don’t know what the Torah says, you can still do what Yeshua told you to do and be OK because (here it comes…) Yeshua taught nothing but Torah. Torah was what Yeshua told us to follow, that He did not change any part of it (Matthew 5:17) and Shaul backed Him up on that in every single letter he wrote to the Messianic communities he formed throughout Asia and the Middle East during his ministry.

What Yeshua and Shaul said is that just obeying the letter of the law in Torah is not going to get you saved because, quite simply, it can’t be done. Attaining salvation through Torah is like taking a test with questions you cannot answer, so you can never get 100%, and you have to attain 100% to pass. That’s why we need Messiah- He is our “spiritual grading curve”  that allows us to get that 100% we can’t get on our own. We still have to take the test, we still have to study to be able to do as well as we can, and the curve is available to all. But it’s only given to those that try to pass.

If you never show up to take the test (never call on Messiah Yeshua for forgiveness) or if you never study (live as best you can to obey the commandments) then you will not receive the curve. In fact, you will fail miserably. And failing the test means being left back when everyone who passes goes to the next grade, which is being in God’s presence forever. You will be “left back” in the cold and the dark where people wail and moan and gnash their teeth.

So don’t listen to those religious leaders who fill you up with bad test answers by telling you you only have to be a good person, or Jesus died for your sins so you can just live your life any way you want to, or who tell you that because you have been baptised you will be able to enter heaven. None of that will get it done. You need to show that you love the Lord by following the commandments He gave us in His Torah. Then He will know you.

God gave us Torah, Yeshua provided the forgiveness we need because we can’t live according to Torah, and we have to do our part, which is to let the Holy Spirit shape us into the likeness of Yeshua; for that to happen you have to be willing to change.

God and Yeshua have done their part- it is all on you now.