Tag: forgiveness

That’s Not My Job

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In the Gospels Yeshua tells us that if we so much as lust after someone with our eyes we have already committed adultery. That’s a tough lesson to listen to, especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded by sexual commercials and ads telling us how to be more attractive and showing off how attractive others are.

But there is a difference between looking at someone who you recognize as beautiful/handsome, and stripping them down with your eyes while imagining how the rest of it could go.

I thought I would try to do as Job said he did, i.e. make a covenant with my eyes not to look at any young girls. I asked God to help me overcome what I am as much conditioned to do as (maybe) sinfully want to do, and I asked Him again, and again, and again. I asked him to keep me from staring at beautiful women; in fact, I asked Him to take all sexual thoughts from me, completely.

Here is the answer He gave me:  “Not my job.”

HUH? Not your job? But, but, but…we are told that whatever we ask for we will receive, and that you answer prayers, and, and, and ..uh…uh…that when we ask in Yeshua’s name we will receive what we ask for. I want you to take this from me! I want to have clean thoughts only, I want to be acceptable before you always. You know, like David prayed in the Psalms: create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit in me, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart always be acceptable before thee.  Aren’t these good things to ask of you? Isn’t this the kind of prayer you will not just acknowledge but one that you want to hear? Whassup with this, “Not my job” thing?

That’s when God answered me, again. I didn’t hear some majestic voice thundering, and it wasn’t even a still, quiet voice. It was a thought that just came into my head: one so simple, one so truthful, and one so significant and demonstrative of God’s ways that I knew it wasn’t from my brain. God made me to understand His answer.

“It doesn’t work that way. I won’t just take this from you because then when you need to learn how to call on My Spirit to help you, you won’t know how to. Spiritual strength is like any other strength- it needs to be exercised to reach it’s full potential. If I just take away sin from someone, they won’t have the spiritual strength to stand up against the enemy when he comes at them.”

It’s like the parable Yeshua tells about the man cleansed of a demon, and after the demon roamed the earth he came back into the very same man because the house had been cleaned, but it was empty. The lesson is that when the man was made clean, he didn’t do anything to fill himself with God. He was cleansed without any actions of his own, and when the demon came back he had no defence against it. Similarly, just being made pure in thought by having God “rewire” my CPU won’t help me to keep it that way.

We all, each of us, have to go through the fire of purification. We have God there to help and guide us, and His Ruach haKodesh (Holy Spirit) to comfort us as we struggle with ourselves, but in the end, it must be us, it must be you, it must be me who overcome the sin in ourselves.

Didn’t God tell Cain that sin crouches at his door and is waiting for him? And more than just that warning, God told Cain that he-Cain- must conquer it!

Right from the start we are told that we must conquer the sinfulness in us. God will help us, God will guide us, God will provide (and already has, in Messiah Yeshua) the means for us to be acceptable when we fail to overcome our sin. But, day to day, we each must work at strengthening our spiritual muscles so that we can overcome the sin in our lives and stand up to the enemy when he comes at us.

Ask God to strengthen you, to guide you, to send His Ruach to comfort and ease your pain, and continually thank him for Messiah Yeshua, who is the ultimate Get-Out-Of-Jail card for everyone who does T’shuvah in his or her own heart, then asks forgiveness from God in Yeshua’s name.

That is how it works.  We must first want to turn from our sins, then accept the grace God gave through His Messiah (Yeshua/Jesus) so we have forgiveness despite our own failure to be sinless, then after accepting Yeshua as our Messiah we can be given the Ruach HaKodesh to comfort, guide and help us through knowledge and understanding of God’s ways so that even though the journey is difficult, we will know the way to walk.

God will answer prayers, God is always there, and God wants us all to turn from our sin and live. He is clear about that throughout the bible. With God we are able to do this, but God is not an enabler- He will always help us, but we have to do it. He will guide us, but we have to walk. He will lift us up when we fall and help direct us to the right path, but we need to keep going.

When it comes to salvation, God has provided it.

When it comes to forgiveness of sins, Yeshua has provided it.

When it comes to overcoming the sin in ourselves, that’s not His job- it’s ours.

Parashah Mikketz (and it came to pass) Genesis 41 – 44:17

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Joseph is brought before Pharaoh, who has had the dreams of the 7 good cows and the 7 bad cows, and the 7 good ears of corn and the 7 bad ears of corn. Joseph interprets the dreams and even tells Pharaoh the best way to prepare for the famine to come.

Pharaoh recognizes Joseph’s ability to plan and organize, and immediately promotes him from Buck Private to Executive Officer over the entire land of Egypt. Joseph efficiently does what he said should be done and there is so much grain in the storehouses it can’t be measured. Then the famine comes, just as God had foretold through Joseph’s interpretation, and the land of Egypt is the only place in the world there is food.

Jacob hears of the food available in Egypt and sends his sons, all but Benjamin, to get food to keep them all alive. As they come to buy, Joseph is over-seeing the sales and making sure that everyone coming into the country is there peacefully. He sees his brothers, but they can’t recognize him; he is dressed as an Egyptian, speaks Egyptian and is the Grand Vizier- even if they thought he looked familiar, how they possibly even think that it could be their Hebrew brother running the entire land of Egypt?  They don’t know it’s Joseph, but Joseph knows it’s them. He treats them badly, accusing them of spying, and ends up keeping Simeon as a hostage until they verify their story about having another brother by bringing Benjamin to him.

Jacob is adamant that Benjamin not go anywhere, but when there is no food he has to relent. Reuben offers up his own two sons as collateral, but it is Judah’s promise to watch over Benjamin that Jacob accepts as trustworthy. They go back with Benjamin and Joseph treats them well, feeds them in his own house, then sets them up so that it appears Benjamin has stolen from him. The parashah ends with Benjamin found out a thief and to be held forever as the slave of Joseph.

Some people always try to demean and debunk the bible as nothing more than a storybook, but the details and historical accuracy of how Egyptians lived, the gold necklace, the re-naming of Joseph, all the details in this parashah indicate this is an historically and culturally accurate accounting.

Joseph is demonstrating here what Yeshua said to His Disciples in Mattitayu 10:16:

Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

He is testing the brothers to see if they have learned their lesson regarding the way they treated Joseph. He already has remembered his dreams of the brothers bowing down to him, as they were right then and there doing exactly that same thing. He has overcome in many ways the pain and suffering he felt, which we can see in how he named his children. His shrewdness is demonstrated in that he did not reveal himself, giving the brothers the chance to act sorry and ask forgiveness simply because of Josephs’ powerful position. He didn’t speak Hebrew, he acted totally Egyptian, and in an instant he planned out how to test their loyalty to Jacob and their love for Benjamin. He remembered their jealousy of him, and I think he reconciled it not to his own actions but to the favoritism he received from Jacob as the son of Rachel. Maybe Joseph was testing the brother’s loyalty and protection of Benjamin, the only other child Rachel had, because he might have thought they would have the same hatred and jealousy of Benjamin they had for him.

Joseph was very shrewd, and yet we see he was also very gentle. Even though he accused them of being spies and talked roughly with them (essentially he gave them the “third degree”) he supplied them with the food they needed as they returned to bring Benjamin to him. Returning their money, I believe, was out of kindness- although it made it even harder for them to return because they were afraid that Joseph would not only think them spies but thieves, as well, having taken the food without paying for it. I don’t get that part- they had to have given the money when they received the food, and if it was in their packs later I would think they would wonder how anyone could possibly know they didn’t pay for the food. If someone who was responsible for giving out the food allowed them to get food without paying, that person was in trouble, not them. I guess this shows how people can be fearful even when there is nothing to be afraid of. Or, perhaps, they were concerned because they really thought this was God’s doing, as is evident in the way they talked to each other when Joseph was accusing them. They said it was the recompense and justice they deserved for what they did to Joseph, and God was bringing this down on their heads. Perhaps, even though there was no way the Egyptians could have known they didn’t pay, they figured they would know, anyway, since God is bringing this about.

We don’t see the fullness of Joseph’s acting gentle with them until the next parasha, but the lesson here is that we should be forgiving of those that harm us, even if they don’t care whether we forgive them or not. In fact, forgiveness has nothing to do with what the sinner feels. Joseph named his children Manasseh (God has made me forget all the trouble I have gone through) and Ephraim (God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction), demonstrating his acceptance of his life in Egypt and having forgotten the painful way he got there. He had already forgiven his brothers, he was gentle with them in his “mistreatment” because he wasn’t being vengeful, he was only testing them.

God tests us, too, and just as Joseph’s apparent cruelty was only an act, when we suffer through testing, God is not angry or vengeful, He is lovingly watching what we do so He can be ready to reward us when we pass the testing. He wants us to pass, He wants us to do what He has told us we should do, and when we fail, I am sure He is disappointed, but already thinking of a testing that is less harsh. We must pass through the fire to become purified, and if there is so much dross in us that we can’t be purified in a single testing, then we will go through the fire over and over and over until we are pure.  God is doing this to us out of love: we need to remember that when it feels more like punishment.

Joseph is showing us that we can forgive but still be wary; we can allow others back into our lives when they are repentant but we don’t have to trust them again until they prove their worth. Joseph had forgiven his brothers, but he needed to give them the opportunity to prove their repentance and trustworthiness so he could not just forgive, but accept them back into his life.

If there is someone who has done you wrong, do not wait for them to ask forgiveness- forgive them now. Remember what David said, even after he committed adultery with Bat Sheba and then planned Uriah’s death to cover it up: he said (in Psalm 51) that his sin was against God, and against God alone. The sin we commit may seem to be against someone, but it is really against God, and every single sin we commit has to be reconciled with God. When God forgives us, we are spiritually “saved” from the consequences. We will always, and I mean always, suffer the consequences of the sins we commit in the physical world, and we still need to ask those we sin against to forgive us.

Here’s the way forgiveness works: the only forgiveness that counts is the forgiveness we receive from God. That’s because we are not commanded to ask forgiveness, we are commanded to forgive. What that means is that if you sin against someone, you need to get yourself right with God first, then you can ask that person for forgiveness. However, it doesn’t really matter (from a spiritual viewpoint) if they forgive you or not. If they do, they are then making themselves right with God; if they don’t, they are sinning against God! To forgive is a commandment. If you feel someone doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, you are placing yourself above God! If God is willing to forgive, then you better be willing to forgive, too. Your willingness to forgive someone is between you and God- they are out of the equation. Once they sinned against you, they’re no longer important- now it is between you and God, and He wants you to forgive them. As for God forgiving them, well, that’s between them and God, and you have no part of that.

You know, we can learn a lot from from Joseph about forgiveness, and also about accepting where God has placed you.

Owning Up To It or Really Owning It?

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You know that person, the one who is willing to say, “Mea Culpa” as soon as they realize they have done something wrong, but they never seem to stop doing the wrong thing? They say they’re sorry, they promise it won’t happen again, then they do it. All over again.

They own up to their sin but they never really own their sin. That’s why they repeat their sinning.

David knew what it meant to own his sins- just read the pathos of Psalm 51. The prayers of Daniel (and he wasn’t even the sinner- it was his ancestors), the cries of Jeremiah, the prayer of Jonah (who felt absolutely terrible while he was drowning, but by the end of the book he seems to have recovered from it.) And Shaul- he called himself a “wretch.”

We know that Yeshua (Jesus) died for our sins, and that when we are asking for forgiveness (in His name) we can give our sins to the Lord. Well, there’s a small problem with that- you can’t give away what you don’t own.

There are people who are made out of Teflon- nothing “sticks” to them. They have plenty of excuses, they never run out of people to blame, but they, themselves, are never really the ones at fault. Even when they say they did wrong, it was for some reason; there’s always an excuse, which (in their minds) makes it acceptable.

That doesn’t work with your friends (although friends and family are more forgiving), it doesn’t work with your boss (never with the boss), and it certainly won’t hold water with God. Come Judgement Day (and we all will face the Lord) you can try all you want to excuse away your sins, but without Yeshua in your corner, you have no chance. Even if you say that you just did what the Priest, Rabbi, Minister, Pastor (whatever) told you to do, I expect you will hear something like this from God, “I know what they told you, but it’s what I say that counts!”

We need to do more than just own up to our sin, to do more than pay “lip service” to the pain we have caused to others (and especially to God) when we have sinned against someone. We need to own our sin, completely. We need to feel even more pain at what we did than the pain felt by the one(s) we did it to. We need to feel that frustration and anger that results when we want to make it right, but we can’t. When we want to “get back” at the person who caused such suffering, but we can’t (because it is ourself.) When we want to turn back time and make it never happen, but….we can’t.

Thanks to Yeshua we can give up our sins, we can be washed clean of our iniquities, and we can have eternal peace in God’s holy presence. But we can’t have that until we are dead, and while we are alive we need to deal with the consequences of our sinfulness.

They say you get what you pay for, so if something costs you nothing it has no real value. It is the same way with sin: we won’t ever truly do T’Shuvah until we take possession of the things we do and say against others, and pay the cost of those actions, so that it really means something to us. When we “own” our sin, then we feel the pain and regret, and that is a feeling you will want to avoid.

If you really, really want to overcome the sinful nature you were born with (which we are all born with) then own your sin. Accept not just that you made a “boo-boo”, but that you actually hurt someone. Take possession of your sin: don’t just own up to it, but completely own it.

Yeshua is waiting to take the sins you own away from you, and all you need to do is ask. He will make an uneven trade where you get the best part of the deal: He takes away your sin and you receive Grace.

The only way to really be rid of your sin, and to sin less, is to first own it completely.

Disposable Everything

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Changing the baby’s diaper? The old one can be thrown away. Not to mention the food container you got from the Chinese restaurant. Also the napkins, the paper towels, and even some of the camera’s you buy on vacation.

That’s all OK, so long as you recycle the ones that can be recycled.

The problem starts when we start to have disposable relationships.

I have a relative whom I love, and I know she loves me, but I chewed her out for something on Face Book (my error) and she unfriended me. When the relationship we have is mostly digital, to just turn it off is easy. I apologized on Face Book, and in person when I saw her recently, but she still hasn’t made me her FB friend again. She didn’t see the apology because she cut me off from her (digital) life. Just like that- 26 years gone in a click.

My kids lived in NY while I lived in PA, so I saw them on weekends when I went out there: 4-5 hours of driving for 4-5 hours of being with them. Unfortunately, this was tough and my hours usually made it hard for me to call all the time. Besides, in my own defense, when I did call their mother listened in, or she took over the call and started to berate me (she never was forgiving or even willing to try and eventually turned the kids totally against me) or stood by so the kids couldn’t talk to me freely;  so, I stopped calling.  Now they have cut me off totally, another result of what is (partly) from having a disposable relationship, one that isn’t face-to-face and physically close.

The digital world has distanced us even more than the cocooning of the world that first started when the Internet took over. Now we unfriend people, we block their phone number, we can even block their email. If you’re mad at someone (and we all get mad at each other, sooner or later) it is so much easier to block them, unfriend them, and delete their contact information. A few seconds and a couple of clicks and that relationship is not just over, it is lost.

The Internet is transmitted through the air, and what is the description Shaul (Paul) gives of the enemy- isn’t he called the “Prince of the Air?”

The most important relationship anyone can have is with God, right? Oh, yeah- Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, etc. are all important- that’s why I am rambling on about how much I can’t stand the easily dismissed and immediately destroyed digital relationships we keep today- but (ultimately) they can’t save your soul. Only Yeshua’s sacrifice, and the relationship He makes possible with God Almighty, can save your soul for all Eternity. And this is the hardest relationship to keep because it is not digital, and it is not physical- it is faith based.

I have felt the presence of God, I have felt His touch, I have known the joy and the peace that His Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) has given me, so there is some level of physicality in my relationship with God. But not everyone has that, and for those that hear the word and are strangled by the weeds, or are poor soil, the relationship is easily broken.

That’s my concern, that’s why I am writing this today- we need to be able to maintain our relationship with God but if we can’t even keep a close relationship during hard times with family and friends, how can we learn to have the humility and maturity to keep a relationship with an unseen and untouchable God? Especially when the tribulation starts and the enemy comes in with promises, blaming God for everything wrong in our lives, and telling us all we need to do to get happy is to unfriend the Lord, and friend the enemy. If something goes terribly wrong in our lives, we just have to blame someone or something, and it is easier to blame God (since he won’t usually speak up in His own defense) than someone else because they might defend themselves and the blame won’t “stick” to them. People defend themselves, God waits for you to get real and wake up to the true cause of the problems in your life, which is YOU! Just as in my life the true cause of all my problems is ME!

For the sake of your soul, and maybe to help others save their soul, get off the stupid computer and get on the stinking phone.  Not texting, but calling. Use Skype or Face Time- that’s even better than a call. You can see each other, that will bring back many more feelings and memories than even just hearing their voice. But make the effort to be human! Talk to each other, look at each other, be people talking to people.

In the olden days they had to travel many days just to get to the next city, so letters were the main form of communication. And the letters people wrote back then, even just catching up letters, were beautiful. Well composed, thought through, and almost poetic. They never LOL’d or BTW’d each other. And they never LMAO’d, either.

Next time you want to catch up or touch base with people, call them. Talk with them, make real, human contact. Learn to work through the problems and don’t have disposable relationships. Relationships shouldn’t be disposable- they should be like a tattoo on the heart. They should be written with indelible ink on your hand and they should be fought for. They are worth keeping.

Pride, anger and lack of forgiveness destroy you from the inside out, and we all need to overcome this.

You will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with God if you can’t have a meaningful relationship with a human being.

Yom Kippur Midrash

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The Day of Atonement. The day when Jews all over the world congregate and corporately ask God for forgiveness. One of the holiest days of the Jewish year, if not the holiest.

And how many of the millions of Jews that are celebrating, solemnly, this holy day are doing so waiting for the Messiah who has already come for them, but whom they do not not know?

I celebrate this day with fasting and solemn introspection, reflection and requests for forgiveness for myself and all my people. That is what this day is really about- not forgiveness just for my sins, but forgiveness for our sins.

The prophets all asked forgiveness for the people, Moses stood before God and asked forgiveness for the people, Yeshua asked forgiveness for the ones that crucified Him. Those who are godly and worship God ask forgiveness not just for themselves, but for their people and for others. And more than that- they forgive them, too.

We are not commanded to ask for forgiveness, we are commanded to be forgiving. When we ask God to forgive our people of the sins that we read in the Ashamnu and Al Chet prayers, are we also forgiving them?

When you pray to God for forgiveness of your sins, are you also praying that you forgive the sins of those that have done evil to you? That’s right, I didn’t get it backwards: do you pray for God to help you forgive them?

I think that’s what we should do- pray for God to forgive us, and for Him to help us to forgive them, too. That’s the hard part, isn’t it? After all, even Jonah knew that God is not just willing to forgive, but that God desires to forgive: it is paramount in His heart to forgive the sinner. Maybe that’s why we read the book of Jonah on this day; it’s about forgiveness, and not just from God.  Jonah ran away from God’s calling and we know exactly why (Jonah 4:2.) He told God he knew God was compassionate and gracious, and that if Nineveh did repent God would forgive them. Jonah, on the other hand, was clearly not in a forgiving mood. Jonah did not want to pray for Nineveh, he wanted them destroyed. But, after some slight additional motivation, he followed God’s command to warn them.  And then, when God forgave them, Jonah was angry.

We need to be less like Jonah and more like God. We need, also, to pray to God for the strength, compassion and humility that will help us to be more forgiving of others. Humility, forgiveness, meekness and compassion all require great strength. A fool is easily angered, talks without thinking, and is more interested in his or her own opinion than listening to others (there’s a lot more about what a fool is like in Proverbs.)  Being loud, self-absorbed, discompassionate and unforgiving is easy for us. It is all part of our sin nature, our inherent iniquity.

The Ruach ha Kodesh (Holy Spirit) is the only thing that can help us to overcome the natural tendencies we have to be sinful and ungodly.

That brings us back to the earlier statement I made about so many Jews asking for forgiveness, waiting for the Messiah and not knowing or acknowledging that He already has come. It’s really sad: Jewish culture is founded on the belief of a Messiah to come and bring us back to God, to overcome our sins and reconcile us to the Holy One of Israel, and yet the historical teachings have been totally against the idea that Yeshua/Jesus is that Messiah. The Tanakh is full of references and descriptions, and Yeshua fulfilled them, yet He is still ignored and rejected by “mainstream” Judaism. Only the Messianic Jews, and many Christians who are seeking their Hebraic roots, really understand and know the true Messiah of Israel (and the world) and worship God as God said to do in the Torah. Which is exactly how Yeshua/Jesus said to worship God, as well.

Today is a day to ask forgiveness, so I ask God to forgive those of His people who have been taught, wrongfully, that Yeshua is not His Messiah. I also pray, O Lord, you forgive those that have taught and continue to teach others to reject Yeshua, for (as Yeshua said) they know not what they are doing. And, finally, O Lord, I ask that you help me and everyone reading this to forgive them, as well, for leading so many from righteousness directly to Sheol. Please forgive them, and show Your forgiveness by opening their eyes, their ears, and their hearts to the truth about Yeshua Ha Meshiach.

Thank you, Father God, for the forgiveness that You give to us, the forgiveness you provided to us through Yeshua, and for helping us to be able to forgive others.

May You Have an Easy Fast

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Tomorrow night is Erev Yom Kippur- the evening that begins the Holy Day of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. This is one of the holiest days of the Jewish year.  It is a commanded day of gathering together (although this is not one of the “Big Three” where you need to go to the Temple)  and “afflicting one’s soul”, which has been interpreted as fasting. No food, no water, nothing from sundown tomorrow until sundown Wednesday.

You may be thinking, “But Steve- you’re already saved. Your sins are forgiven. Why bother?” and the question is not unwarranted: I am saved. My sins are forgiven and will continue to be forgiven because I belong to Yeshua. So long as I am trying harder and harder to be what God wants, to obey His laws and do T’Shuvah (turn from sin), I will be forgiven whenever I call on God and ask forgiveness in the name of Yeshua Ha Mashiach.

And that is the very reason I fast and worship as all the “unsaved” Jews do- because I do belong to Yeshua, and Yeshua did not do away with Torah, and the Torah says I should fast.

How many of you out there can say you are without sin at any given time? Do you really think that once forgiven never held responsible again? If so, you’ve got a really nasty surprise coming. Sin separates us from God, and every time that we sin, we are that much more separated from God. Forgiveness is available but it isn’t shoved down our throat. God will not automatically forgive you just because in 1993 at 10 AM on a Tuesday you “found Jesus.” That’s great that you did, and once forgiven, all those prior sins are not going to be held against you. They were paid for. And the sins you commit afterwards, well, you have to ask forgiveness of them, too. You still need to confess and ask forgiveness. This isn’t revolving credit where you make a payment, run a debt, then make a payment. We sin every day and every day we need to ask forgiveness.

Yom Kippur is a day when we don’t ask just for individual forgiveness, but for corporate forgiveness. Read the prayers in the Machzor (the special prayer book for High Holy Days); read the books of the Prophets, who always asked forgiveness for the people; this is not just a day of asking for personal forgiveness. That’s why we are commanded to have a communal day of prayer, to gather together and confess to God our failure to meet our end of the Covenant He made with our Fathers. It is a communal request to forgive all of us, therefore, everyone who is saved should be even more willing to obey this commandment because we need to show the unsaved our desire for them to be forgiven and reconciled to God (through Messiah.)

Oh, by the way, did you catch that part about “we are commanded”? The best reason to do what God says is because He said to do it! How many times do you hear people say ( or maybe you’ve said it yourself), “Oh Lord, oh Yeshua, oh Jesus- I love you!”  Do you love Yeshua? Do you love Jesus? Are you one of His flock?

Then read John 14:15 (“If you love me, keep my commands.“)  And what commands did Yeshua give? The same ones that His Daddy gave to Moshe. John knew this and the Gospel he wrote began making sure that the very first truth of the Good News that he told us was this:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

There is nothing “new” in the New Covenant writings- it is all the same stuff as in the Torah and the Prophets. That is what Yeshua taught from, that is what Yeshua taught about, and that is what Yeshua told us to obey. When Yeshua told us to prove our love for Him by obeying His commands, He was talking about the Torah. Yeshua/Jesus IS the living Torah!

That is why I fast and worship on Yom Kippur. For the same reason I do so on every Holy Day God has commanded us to celebrate- because He has commanded it. That is all the reason any one needs. Because I love and worship God, and because I belong to Yeshua, I do as my Master tells me to do. And I do so willingly, happily and faithfully, to the very best of my abilities, which are incompetence and failure. In truth, as much as I try, the best I can hope for and the best I can do, is better than what I have already done.

And that is good enough. Don’t try to be perfect- it ain’t gonna happen. I just want to be better than I was, I want to wake up and sin at least one less sin each day. I will walk three steps forward, but backslide two steps because it is my very nature to do so, yet as long as I net out one step closer, I am performing T’Shuvah. I am getting better, I am sinning less, I am becoming more spiritually mature and growing closer to God.

Tomorrow night I will fast. By Wednesday around, oh, let’s say 1130 or 1200, I will have a killer caffeine headache. My stomach will be grumbling and I may become a little testy. But I will be worshiping. Although the place where I worship cannot hold services because of a special needs school it runs during the day (services would be disruptive and disturbing to the children) I will worship in my home. I will read the Machzor, I will sit on my porch and enjoy the Sabbath rest that this day has for me, and I will commune with the Lord. I will recite the Ashamnu and the Al Chet, prayers listing the many sins we have committed against God and prayers asking forgiveness.

And I will demonstrate my love for Yeshua and for God by being faithfully obedient, and I will demonstrate my solidarity with my people by joining them in corporate prayer, even if I am not with them physically, as our prayers reach up to heaven and are presented to God on a golden patter held by Yeshua, Himself.

And I will do as every Jew should do on this day; actually, as everyone who says they worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob should do on this day.

Because God said we should.

Days of Awe are Here Again

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L’Shonah Tovah! Happy New Year! Although it isn’t really the beginning of the year, biblically, it is still a celebratory day and a mandated Holy Day (see Leviticus 23.) The Rabbi’s have made this a civil new year (the beginning of the year for Jews is Pesach/Passover, see Exodus 12:2) and it is also the beginning of the Days of Awe.

The ten days after Rosh HaShannah, up to Yom Kippur, are a time for self-evaluation and reflection. We are to look inside ourselves and see what is there: is there repentance and a sense of T’Shuvah, or is there only rationalization and lame excuses for failing to even try to obey God?

We are to be in “awe” of God and His wonderful blessings, but I am more like, “Awe, shucks- I didn’t do as well as I wanted to do” when it comes to pleasing God. And that is the same way I feel every year, although I can say I have been doing much better since I started to worship God then before I knew Him or Messiah Yeshua (around February of 1997.)

I think of all the times in the past year I have done wrong to people: I wrote a nasty-gram at work, I chewed out my niece on Facebook (sorry, Heather- I love you and hate Facebook),  I even got mad at Donna once or twice (how could that ever happen?), and I am sure there are others I have hurt along the way that I am not even aware of having done so.

A traditional event at this time of the year is to ask forgiveness of those we have sinned against, and I do now, publicly, ask those named above, and anyone else I may have hurt, to please forgive me. I’m sorry. And I do this knowing that the forgiveness I need most is from God, for every sin I commit is against God, first and foremost. And I also want to remind all of you reading this that the forgiveness we all need from God is already here, through Messiah Yeshua. So many (in fact, almost every one) of my family disagree with my belief in Yeshua, but that is OK because they have a right to their opinion. God gave us all free will, and how well we use it is up to us. But you should at least be willing to ask why I believe as I do. If you are right, you have nothing to lose; if I am right, you have everything to gain. But I will not force you to listen. I will not force anyone to hear the truth about God and His Messiah.

What I (in fact, what all Believers) really should be doing is speaking with my actions, not my words.

During this time of introspection, review your actions over the past year but don’t beat yourself up over it. Getting distressed and upset about things you can’t change is giving power to the enemy, who will use the uselessness of wanting to change the past to destroy you. Remember the past so that you can have a more fruitful future; the best thing to do with past memories is use them to create a better future. I know people who will not let go of the past, who constantly live wanting the past to be different; consequently, their present is not as joyful as it could be and they can’t see any future. They live in limbo: feeling like they have no control, frustrated, angry and hateful. And through it all they haven’t a clue why they are so miserable.

Look back on this past year and decide how you will make next year better. Look to God for help and to His Ruach/Spirit for guidance. Read the Manual (Bible) every day to get good ideas about how to act, and how not to act, and (may I suggest) go through Proverbs slowly. There is more than a single lifetime of wisdom in that book.

All the commandments God gave to us were designed for one thing, and it isn’t just the proper way to worship Him (although that is in there), and it isn’t just what we are to eat (although that’s in there), and it isn’t just how we are to treat each other (you’ll find that there, too): the reason God gave us those laws (and He tells us why more than once) is so that by obeying them we will have long life, we will be happy, and we will live in peace.

Makes you wonder why anyone would not want to obey God’s laws?

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trusting Again

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Forgiveness has very little to do with the person you forgive, and everything to do about your relationship with God. Always remember that we are commanded to forgive (Mattitayu 6:14-15) and that forgiving someone demonstrates our love of God through our obedience.

Besides, forgiving is the only way to make the hurt stop.

No, really! If you know the pain of being sinned against, and feel the person that hurt you doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, then you have forgiveness all wrong. Someone hurt you once, but when you fail to forgive them you are just hurting yourself, over and over. Forgiving is how you stop the hurt, and (actually) has no effect at all on the person that hurt you. Most likely, that person doesn’t care if you forgive them or not.

Try to remind yourself that the other person, the one who hurt you, has to face God sooner or later, and nothing you do, including forgiving him or her, will change their relationship with God. The hurt they did to you was also a sin against God and they need to make that right with God; frankly, God doesn’t care if you forgive them or not, so far as their relationship with Him is concerned. He does care if you forgive them or not with regards to your relationship with God. So forgive, get past the pain and be more right with God. The blessing you receive for forgiving others is that the pain stops.

Now let’s cover another aspect of forgiveness: forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to trust them, or let them back in your life, or even deal with them, ever again. Forgiveness is what we do to improve our relationship with God. If someone has stolen from you, and you forgive them, it doesn’t mean you have to let them know the combination to your safe. That isn’t forgiveness, that’s stupidity. Shaul (Paul) says that we shouldn’t do anything to provide a stumbling block that might cause someone to stumble (into sin) so if you know someone who is hurtful, don’t give them a chance to hurt you (or themself, for that matter.) If you know someone who drinks too much, don’t offer them a second round. If you know someone who is a gossip, don’t listen to them or share a secret with them. If you know someone who is lazy, don’t give them an important job to do.

You should forgive them when their sin affects you, but that doesn’t mean you have to give them the opportunity to continue to sin against you to “prove” you have forgiven them. Your forgiveness of others is between you and God, and no one else, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

Consequently, when you sin against someone, you should ask them for their forgiveness. Before going to that person, confess your sin and ask God for forgiveness. After all, every sin we commit is, first and foremost, against God. David knew that and said so in Psalm 51, so ask forgiveness from God, then go to that person and ask forgiveness from him or her. And know that the rule works the same way: if they do not forgive you, it has nothing to do regarding your relationship with God. You sinned against someone and you asked for God’s forgiveness and for their forgiveness.Whether they forgive you or not is between them and God, and once you do what you know to be right (in God’s eyes) you should also forgive yourself and move on.

The saying, “To err is human; to forgive, divine” is more than just an old saw- it is an accurate definition of both terms. God says many times that we are to be holy because He is holy, and one way we can do that is to be forgiving. You don’t need to allow that person back in your life or to deal with them ever again, but you do need to forgive them. It doesn’t even matter if they know that you have forgiven them.

Just so long as God knows.

No One Turns to God When They’re Happy

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I may be wrong with today’s title. I am certain there are people out there who haven’t accepted God’s Grace and are enjoying fulfilling, useful and happy lives. Maybe there are people who have comfort and joy in their lives, but haven’t accepted God or His Messiah, then suddenly realize that it is not because of their own worthiness or power that they are so well off but because God is giving them blessings out of nothing more than His love for His children.

Maybe there are people who can appreciate Him and say to themselves, “Hey, know what? This is too good to be true, and I don’t deserve any of it because I am a sinner. So, while I am enjoying my life, let me stop and thank God for it, and take this time to accept His Grace, the salvation He made possible through Messiah Yeshua, and ask for forgiveness for the sins He is not punishing me for. ”

Maybe this is happening, maybe there are people who come to the Lord this way, maybe… but I really, REALLY doubt it.

Humans are self-centered, self-absorbed, self-important and hedonistic. And those are our good qualities!

I do not ever recall, in the 18 years I have been saved and even before, talking to anyone or hearing of anyone who came to the Lord in the midst of their joy. It is almost a foregone conclusion that when we are happy all we care about is staying happy. We don’t want to know or think of anything else.

In D’Varim (Deuteronomy) 8:10-20 Moshe warns the children of Israel against falling prey to their nature, in that once they have been secure and happy in the land they will forget it was God who did all that for them and that it was God who made it all possible, driving out the nations before them, and that it was because of God’s love for them that they have that security and abundance. He tells them to remember the Lord in the midst of their joy and not to think that they earned any of the peace they will have. In other places in the Torah he tells them to never think they are worthy of the land God is giving to them: in fact, Moses reminds them throughout the Torah about their stubbornness, their stiff-necked attitude and continual refusal to follow God’s laws wholeheartedly.

I think you have to agree with me- we don’t appreciate what we have until we lose it. We want, we pray, we get, and when we are happy we think it was by our power we now have it and we ignore God. When it all goes away, we cry and kvetch and, finally, when we are beaten into a sobbing hulk of self-pity, those who are still smart enough to remember where it all came from look up to God, repent and ask forgiveness.

And He forgives. Over and over, He forgives. Not because we deserve it, because we don’t. I mean, maybe the first, or second, or even third time we screw it all up I can see His forgiveness being given. But after 40 years in the desert and still not paying attention? After thousands of years of distorting His word, making our own rules from His simple commandments? And what about the religions with rules that are against His commandments? How can He still be able, let alone willing- actually, wanting!-  to forgive us time and time again?

The answer is as simple as the commandments He gave us- He can, He does and He wants to because He is God.

If you are reading this and don’t consider yourself saved, thinking that your life is your own, please take this test:

  1. Can you add even 1 hour to the day?;
  2. Can you change one hair on your head from black to gray (without medical intervention)?;
  3. Do you know when you will die?;
  4. Do you know when Yeshua will return?

If you cannot answer any of those questions with an absolute “Yes”, I suggest you reconsider your position about God. And soon, because the prophecies about judgement are all pointing to the unavoidable conclusion that it will be here soon….very, very soon.

If your life is joyful and serene, please thank God for it. It’s because of Him. And if your life sucks, you are unhappy, depressed, needy and feel rejected, then look to God for help. He is there to bring you out of the pit and into the light.

And know this- those of you who are joyful and at peace today may be in tribulation tomorrow, so enjoy it and thank God for it.

Never lose sight of the fact that whatever you have that feels like a gift from above is just that- a gift from above. Yacov (James) reminds us in James 1:17 that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

God doesn’t change, and we can. I think that is one of the greatest gifts that God provided for us, the fact that we have not just the opportunity to change, but the ability. They say the leopard cannot change it’s spots nor the tiger it’s stripes, but we can change; no matter how old we are, no matter how bad we’ve been (or good, for that matter- it can go both ways) and no matter how long we’ve been that way.

God will accept you whenever you ask His forgiveness and request His grace, so don’t wait for the bad times to do so and never forget to thank Him during the good times.

He is worthy and deserving of thanks, all the time.

No Deals for Forgiveness

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Remember those old movies, the ones from the 40’s and 50’s? The tough kid whose brother is in the hospital, or the troublemaker who finally comes to terms with his own anger when the only girl he ever loved is dying, and they go through this kind of a speech:

“Lord, you know I ain’t no praying person, and I always kinda thought you were there, and if you are now, and you’re listening, please save (place name here.) S/he’s better than I am , I ain’t never been any good, so take my life and give it to him/her.”

I’m almost crying now, just thinking of those heart-wrenching prayers.

Poppycock!

Get real, people! God doesn’t make deals, you can’t swap your life for another. Each person who sins must deal with their sins; first, by accepting them (you can’t give away what you don’t own) and then by wanting to be rid of them. When we realize our own sinfulness and realize, at the same time, our inability to overcome it, that’s when people come to God and ask forgiveness for themselves. Praying for others is fine, interceding is godly, and asking God to forgive others is good to do. However, when it comes down to it, each person must have their moment with God. Each of us must form that relationship, that personal relationship, with God, and that has to start by asking forgiveness for ourselves.

This is clear throughout the Bible:

  • Jeremiah 31:30 (Instead, everyone will die for their own sin; whoever eats sour grapes–their own teeth will be set on edge.);
  • Deuteronomy 24:16 (Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.);
  • Ezekiel 18:20 (The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.)

These are some examples I found in the Tanakh, and even if it isn’t stated specifically in the B’rit Chadashah (Good News / New Covenant) Yeshua didn’t say or teach anything differently that what is in the Tanakh.

I am not saying that to pray for someone else’s forgiveness is not valuable or good to do- far be it for me to deny the power and goodness of interceding. If Moses hadn’t interceded for the Israelites, and more than once, we would all be remembering father Moses instead of father Abraham.

What I am saying is that God is not going to swap out your righteousness for someone else’s sinfulness. You can pray for them, I often pray for my kids (like every day often), and lift them up to the Lord. Ask His forgiveness of them, which He will do by sending others to show them the path to Him. They still need to come to Him on their own, and He can (and will) send angels of mercy to direct them, and (as in most cases) human beings who know the Lord to help those you pray for see the truth. I know that if not for the people who were mature of spirit and could approach me without telling me I had to convert, I would not be saved today.

Isn’t it best when we follow the rules? The Bible tells us what to do:

  1. Ask forgiveness for yourself, so that through the cleansing that comes from Yeshua’s sacrifice you can approach the Lord:
  2. Ask the Lord to save these people from themselves by forgiving them, not because they deserve it but because He is God, and ask that He do so for His names’ sake;
  3. Ask that God send angels of mercy to lead these people away from sin; and finally
  4. Pray that you are a better example to them of the peace and joy that is found only in God’s salvation, brought to us through the Comforter (the Ruach HaKodesh, Holy Spirit), so that they will become jealous of your peace and how you find comfort even in the midst of troubles.

Of course, you may have a better prayer, or something you are more comfortable with. The above is my prayer, it’s how I try to intercede for my loved ones who don’t know the Lord.

Don’t try to make deals or swap out your salvation for someone else. It makes for good fodder in the movies, but not in real life. In real life we all have to deal with our relationship to God and others, and what we do is what we will be held accountable for.

As I have said before, and will (no doubt) say again: people don’t mean what they say, they mean what they do. God will hold us accountable for what we do, so pray for others, and pray that they come to know the Lord so they can turn from their sin. God will always answer prayer, I believe that He will send angels and people to help those we pray for, but always understand and accept that each of us must come to the Lord, on our own.

Trust in God to answer your prayer but remember that He will not force anyone to worship Him, so as much as God works to lead others to Him, most will reject Him. Get comfortable with that truth, that Biblical truth, because you will see many you love turn against you and against God when the Tribulation comes.

We need to pray for others, accept that God is listening and working on their behalf, but it is, ultimately, up to them to come to God.