Tag: forgiveness

We Need to Forgive Everyone, but We Need Forgiveness Only From God

Leave a comment

When was the last time you visited Psalm 51? That’s what David wrote after being convicted by Natan the Prophet of the sins he committed against Uriah and Bat Sheba. Yet David knew who he really sinned against- God, first and foremost; David said that against God, and God alone, did he sin.

That doesn’t mean David didn’t realize the effect of his actions against these people, but God is the one who gave us the commandments and when we violate even the simplest of these laws, regulations and ordinances, we have sinned against God directly. Even if the actions are directed to another person, it is against God that we have sinned.

So, we ask forgiveness of God, and we should ask forgiveness of the person we have sinned against, too. If that person decides to forgive us, that is good for them.

No, I didn’t get that wrong: when someone forgives us it is good for them because God doesn’t tell us to be forgiven by others, He tells us to be forgiving of others. When we forgive we are doing what is right in God’s eyes. No person can forgive someone their sin- only God can do that. Your act of forgiveness is actually between you and God; likewise, the sin itself is between that person and God. Your forgiveness of others helps you, not them. They have to deal with God for forgiveness on their own.

The one who has sinned needs forgiveness from God- the sin is between the sinner and God. God is the ultimate judge, He is the one who will decide if we get to sit under our own fig tree and enjoy our wine, or if we spend eternity out of His presence, in misery and darkness gnashing our teeth.

Forgiveness is a wonderful remedy for the pain of being sinned against. Truth is, the only way to make the pain go away is to forgive the person who caused it. That isn’t easy to do, but it is the only remedy. Maybe that’s why God commands us to be forgiving? He wants us to be happy and, therefore, He tells us to forgive (so that we can be happy.)

Maybe that’s also why God is so willing to forgive us? It makes Him happy, too, and helps Him to remove the pain of being ignored and rejected by the ones He loves so much (He is much better at it than we are. Thank God for that, right?)

Yeshua tells us to “…seek ye first the kingdom of God,…” when He is talking to the crowds during the Sermon on the Mount. Within the context of this speech He has been talking about our relationships with each other, about leaving our gift at the altar to make reparations with those we have sinned against, about forgiving each other as God forgives us, and that’s when He tells us to not seek things of the world but things of God. The world seeks vengeance, God seeks forgiveness and reconciliation.

When it comes to things of God, forgiveness is definitely near the top of the A-List. Forgiveness is a natural result of loving each other and since Yeshua said the two greatest commandments are to love God and love each other, forgiveness (in my book) comes in at a very close third.

Shaul tells us to run the good race. If we are to run the race well, we need to understand and remember that to love God, love each other, and forgive each other is the Win:Place:Show of the most important race we will ever be part of.

We must forgive others and we should ask for forgiveness from those we have sinned against, but always ask forgiveness from God first and foremost because that is the most important forgiveness there is, and the only forgiveness you need.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Prevent Suffering

Leave a comment

To err is human; to forgive, divine. How true. And we (should all) know that forgiveness is not just commanded of us, but it is the only way for those that have been hurt to heal. The pain doesn’t go away by reliving the event- it goes away by forgiving and moving on.

And the forgiveness we receive will be based on the forgiveness we give (read Matthew 6:14 if you don’t know that already.)

Now, here’s the kicker: the forgiveness we receive from God is immediate, but we don’t fully realize it until we are dead. Meanwhile, here on Earth we have to suffer the consequences of the sin that we committed.

Actually, I will go as far as to say that, since everyone sins and most people don’t care if they do or not, the ones that usually suffer the most from sin are not the sinners, but the ones sinned against. Oh, yes- the sinners will suffer, but that is also just like forgiveness in that those who sin and continue to sin will cause great pain and suffering while alive, but when they are dead, without the forgiveness of Messiah to protect them, their suffering will be exponentially worse than any and all the suffering they caused while alive. When you find it hard to forgive someone, as I do, try to remember that little tidbit of information and picture in your mind, just for a moment, what they will be facing on Judgement Day and what they will have to endure for all eternity.

As bad as what they may have done, what they will have done to them is much worse.

Let’s see a few examples of what I am talking about from the Manual: Abraham is certainly with God and forgiven for the lies he told about Sarah, causing her to be taken as wife for two different kings, but the people under that king suffered; Moses is most certainly with God and forgiven of his sin of murder and at the rock at Meribah, but he didn’t get to enter the Promised Land; David is most certainly with God and forgiven of his sins of adultery and murder but the son he produced from it died; thousands died from the plague because of the census David ordered; the kingdom was torn apart because of the sins of Solomon and, eventually, because of the sins of the kings of both Shomron (the Northern kingdom, Israel) and Judea, the Jewish people were scattered amongst the Nations and taken into captivity.

Here were sins committed by people that God forgave, yet there was great suffering by many others, who had nothing to do with the origin or commitance of that sin.

Sin sucks; it hurts people that we don’t mean to or want to hurt, and it hurts us, too. The worst thing about sin is that it drives a wedge between us and God. The greater the number of sins, the greater the distance between us and God. The good news is that God is everywhere, so even though sin separates us from God, spiritually, He is still always right there, at arm’s length and ready to reach out His hand so we can take hold of it when we ask for forgiveness: there is no distance between us and God (caused by our sins) that puts us beyond God’s reach.

For me, the desire to not sin, my T’Shuvah, is based mainly on wanting to please God. It is also based on not wanting to hurt anyone, and finally it is also based on my desire to not have to suffer. I am not talking about eternal suffering, because I have that one covered- thank you, Yeshua, for your kippah of forgiveness that protects me from myself for all eternity. No, I mean I do not want to suffer here and now. If I hurt God by sinning against Him, I hurt. If I hurt others by sinning against them, I hurt. It is the Ruach HaKodesh, God’s holy spirit living in me, that causes me pain when I sin. Before I accepted Yeshua and asked (and received) the Ruach, it didn’t hurt me; well, maybe a little, but not as much as now. So now, knowing the pain of sin, I don’t want it!

Sin is one of those things that hurts now and hurts later; it hurts you and it hurts others, and the only way to avoid it is to just not do it. And yet, even if we sin less and less every day (that is an attainable goal) we will still be sinned against and be hurt by the sin of others. The only way to stop that pain is to forgive them.

Ah, but that….is another story!

God’s forgiveness of our sin is like His Kingdom: it exists, but hasn’t arrived yet. God’s forgiveness is given when asked for but not realized until later, yet the suffering our sin causes is here and now, and the “Earthly” consequences of that sin are unavoidable.

Red Light; Green Light

Leave a comment

It’s zero-dark-thirty in the morning and you are on a major road going home. You are stuck at a red light: there isn’t a car in sight in any direction. Do you just go through the light or do you wait for it to turn green?

I confess I might go through it. I have been in that situation more than once, and usually I do wait (no, I am not a major party animal. As an IT guy sometimes I have had to stay really late to get upgrades completed after hours. No…really!)

They say that honesty is doing what you know you’re supposed to do, even when you’re positive that no one will ever find out. For those of us who know and worship the Lord, we understand that while no person may ever find out, nothing is hidden from God. So, do we not go through the red light because we know that is the right thing to do, or do we not go through because there could be someone watching that we don’t see?

In other words, do we obey because we want to obey, or do we obey because we are afraid of the consequences when we don’t?

I bet you can see where this is going….Yeshua said if we love Him we will do what He says, and we are also commanded to love God and love each other. In the very same breath we are also told that if we disobey we will be cursed. Obedience brings blessings and disobedience brings suffering, so do we really have a choice?

It doesn’t seem so, does it? Yet, God gives us free will, and even those that not just ignore Him, but outright reject that He even exists, are often “blessed” with riches and fame.

Or are they? Just because someone has all they could want doesn’t mean it comes from God. There is another power that has control over the worldly things that people crave. And his retirement plan is very different from the one God offers.

Should we obey from love or from the fear of retribution and punishment?

We are told that God was sickened and disgusted with the sacrifices offered to Him by the Judeans when these sacrifices were done along side sacrifices to Ba’al, Asherah, Molech, and the other Semitic gods that they worshipped before they were taken into captivity. They obeyed His commands, but he didn’t want their sacrifices because there was no love or true worship behind them. How often are we told in the Book of Nevi’im (Prophets), again and again, that the blood of bulls and sheep means less to God than obedience. Here it is clear that God wants obedience from the heart, not just going through the motions. Does that mean that if we go through the motions they won’t be accepted? Remember Cain? Cain went through the motions and his offerings weren’t accepted, were they?

I think the answer is that God wants us to love Him as He loves us, and to show that love by loving each other as we would want them to love us.

WOW!! Steve!! What a revelation! You’ve changed my life, Man!!

Yeah, yeah….I know. I am stating the obvious (did you catch the cynicism there?) but as obvious as that is, can you tell me why we still don’t do it? I think the answer is just as obvious: people that regularly do not obey the Lord are people that don’t love Him. And that includes professed “Believers.” As such, those who regularly disobey because their heart tells them to disobey (although that may not be how they see it) are doomed people. God tells us, more than once, that we should choose life and not death- He lays it out simply: if we do as He says, we live in His presence and if we don’t do as He says (in other words, we reject Him), then He will reject us.

The good news is that love is absolutely unstable and untrustworthy: that which we hate today we can love tomorrow, and vice-versa. People who hate the Lord have turned to Him and become strong and fruitful followers, and those raised with God who always thought they loved Him can turn against Him as soon as they hit real strife, such as loss of a loved one. So we need to be aware that our love for God is as fragile as the human spirit, and only God’s spirit is strong enough to get us through the horrors of living. Therefore, rely on God and don’t trust yourself.

The answer, for me, is that we obey God because we love Him and from fear of the consequences of disobedience. I think that is OK because we are, in our very nature, sinful sinners and sin is always crouching at our door. The more we love the Lord the easier it is to obey, but it certainly helps overcome the weakness of the flesh when we realize that disobedience carries consequences we don’t want.

Yeshua told the parable about the good son, remember? Even though he refused to do as his father asked initially, for whatever reason he changed his mind later and did as asked, and for that he was recognized as a better son than the one who happily and immediately said he would do as the father asked, but never got around to it. I think one lesson here is that our heart may initially reject what God asks of us because we love ourselves more than Him, but that can be overcome. Maybe not at first, maybe not right away, but it can be overcome, eventually. And let me add this: when we have the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit, living within us and when we listen to that spirit talking to us, we can more easily overcome the flesh because we want to.

There is the letter of the law and the spirit of the law.  When we stop at the red light, even though we can go through, we are obeying the spirit of the law. To obey the spirit of the law of God, we need His spirit guiding us. If we only want to obey the letter of the law, that is what Shaul (Paul) called being “under the law”, i.e. trying to gain salvation by doing what we are supposed to do, whether we want to or not. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that it is impossible for us to do that, because God really wants us to obey the spirit of the law. That is a heartfelt obedience, that is doing what He wants because doing so will please Him. That is obedience from love.

Next time you come to a red light, and there is absolutely no one around, what do you think you will do? Now ask yourself, “Why?”

Sin is Now; Forgiveness is Later

Leave a comment

We are all sinners.

It isn’t a pleasant thought, but it is true. It doesn’t mean we are a bad person if we sin; if that was true, then every single person who ever lived (except one, of course) would be a bad person. And that one who didn’t sin, by the way, when called “good” refused to accept that description and reminded the person that the only one who is “good” is God.

Since we all are sinners, that means we all sin. DUH!!  We sin every day, and we are supposed to forgive each other. We are not commanded to ask for forgiveness, but to forgive.  Forgiveness is what God wants us to do: read the Bible and realize, if you don’t already, that even though Yeshua tells us to leave our sacrifice at the altar and go make right any relationship issues we have with anyone else before offering the sacrifice, we are not commanded to ask for forgiveness– we are commanded to forgive. Read Matthew 6:14 if you don’t believe me. And that’s just one example; the Manual is rife with other examples of the fact that we are to forgive.

Of course, we are to ask for forgiveness, as well, but forgiving is what we do here on Earth. So if we forgive here on Earth, why am I saying that forgiveness is later? I say that because the forgiveness we really need is from God, and the forgiveness He gives doesn’t really count until we are dead.

David said it in Psalm 51- despite what he did to Uriah (and Bat-Sheba, too) he knew that his sin was, first and foremost, against God. Whenever we sin, and whomever we sin against, it is always against God because He told us not to sin, so when we do it is always a violation of His commandment, and to violate God’s commandment is to reject the Lord. That’s hard to hear, but it is the truth- to sin against anyone is to reject God.

As such, the forgiveness you receive from another person is good, but not for you: the one who receives the benefit from forgiveness is the one who is forgiving. By obeying God that person will receive more blessings. The one who is forgiven by another human being may feel some relief now, but the real forgiveness that does that person good is when it comes from God. Think about it: will God let you into heaven simply because you are forgiven by someone else? If that was true nearly everyone would be allowed in because nearly every Mother will forgive her child anything. It is God’s forgiveness we all need, that is the forgiveness that keeps us from eternal sunburn, and that is the forgiveness that we can claim only when we are one of the sheep shepherded by Yeshua Ha Maschiach. If we don’t have Yeshua in our corner, we have no hope of salvation.

The sins we commit are here and now, but the forgiveness we need to receive will be coming when we face God and Yeshua says, “This one is mine, Father.”  When I am forgiven by another person that is good for that person, and when I am forgiven by God that is good for me. Even though I will feel better, here and now, if I ask for and receive forgiveness from the person (or people) I sin against, it is God’s forgiveness that I need and it comes through asking it in Yeshua’s name. But I must first be one of Yeshua’s sheep.

God will forgive us as soon as we ask it, so long as we ask correctly: we must come to Him with a broken spirit, with a contrite heart, and we have to mean it! God isn’t stupid and He can’t be fooled- if anyone thinks they can get into heaven simply by saying they believe Yeshua is the Messiah and in His name they ask forgiveness of their sins, it doesn’t work that way. Yes, those are the right words, but you need the right state of heart and mind when you say them. You have probably heard the expression, “You get what you pay for?” Well, your salvation will be as real and wonderful as the work you put into it. It is NOT free- just because we can’t buy it or earn it doesn’t mean it is free. It is invaluable. It is priceless. It is more than anyone can ever accomplish on their own, and it only takes your heartfelt repentance to receive it. But it isn’t “free”- it will cost you friends, it will cost you earthly pleasures, and it may even cost you your life. There are Believers all over the world losing their lives, this very day, because of their belief in God and their work for His Kingdom.

No, my brothers and sisters, salvation can not be bought or earned, but it is not free.

What you may give up now are things that you will lose anyway, when you die, but what you will receive now is peace of spirit, and later complete joy in God’s presence, for all eternity.

Not a bad deal, don’t you agree?

Try your best not to sin: we can never be sinless, but we can always sin less. So do that: sin less. Always ask for forgiveness from all those whom you have sinned against: the ones on Earth, and your Father in heaven. And more than that: remember to always forgive those who have sinned against you.

Invest in your eternity by depositing your forgiveness of others every day, and at your final retirement the size of your spiritual IRA will be greater than any CD or stock could ever pay out.

You Can’t Give Away What You Don’t Own

Leave a comment

We have a column in our local paper that is a forum where people can post short little carps about things that bother them.

I am thinking of writing to that column complaining about the childish and inane complaints that people make.

Today I read someone’s complaint about the fast food tacos and burritos they buy: the issue centered around the wrapper sticking to the food, and how because of that, when eating the food and driving the person sometimes eats the paper.

Stop eating while you are driving! DUH!!

Just like the little old lady who sued McDonalds for burning herself with their coffee. Supposedly she placed the cup between her legs to pull the cover off so she could drink the hot coffee, all the while driving her car. Of course, it spilled and she got burnt, and who paid? We all did. The truth is, as I hear it, she didn’t do as well as everyone thinks, and her lawyers got the best of the suit (no surprise there), but the point is the same.

And what is the point? The point is that today no one is responsible, as a people or as a nation, for what happens to us, even when we are the cause.

Actually, it’s not all that new. Cain was a victim, too. No, really! Didn’t he complain to God that his punishment was too much to bear? And that he might be killed by someone if God sent him all alone into the world? Uh, what about Abel? Hello? Didn’t you just murder him?

Somewhere we lost the understanding that we are responsible for what we do and say. Somewhere we lost that maturity, that sense of ownership for our actions. We want to be recognized for any good deed we do, we want to get raises for simply showing up and doing the minimum, we want medals and trophies for nothing more than being there, but when we screw up it isn’t our fault.

In the parable of the man who hired workers for a denarius, he paid all the same amount, whether they started early in the day or joined just before sundown. The workers who were there all day complained about everyone getting the same pay, no matter how long they had worked. The man said that they (the ones there all day) got what they agreed to, and what he paid others isn’t their business. This has a real lesson for people today, which is that we should not complain about what anyone else gets and be concerned only with what we have.  If we are getting what we agreed to receive, then nothing else matters.

Oh, but that’s not fair! Really? Do you remember this:

Yet the house of Israel says, ‘The way of the Lord is not fair.’ O house of Israel, is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair? Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways,’ says the Lord God.” Ezekiel 18:24-30

God will forgive a life-long sinner who does T’Shuvah and turns from his sin, even on his deathbed, and a man who has been righteous all his life, but then becomes a sinner (meaning purposefully turning to the “dark side” ) will be punished, even if this change of heart comes on his deathbed. And the world says that’s not fair. That’s what the story of the man paying the same wage to everyone, no matter when they started working, is all about, isn’t it? God looks to the heart, and what you did yesterday doesn’t really matter as much as what and who you are today.

When I was in Sales, we joked that you might be the top salesperson for the year, 5 years in a row, but what did you sell yesterday? And how many appointments do you have today? History is nice, but we live day to day, and we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, so we need to be in the moment, every moment. What others do or say may impact us, but it is what we do and say that we are responsible for, no matter what others have done.

We need to own up to our own actions. That means we need to “own” our sinfulness, “own” our mistakes, and willingly be accountable for them. When you own something, you have the right and the ability to give it away. If I have a mortgage, I can offer to sell my house but I can’t really sell it until the bank releases the lien. When I go to sell my car, I can’t really close the deal until the holder of the loan is paid because that is the legal entity that releases the registration to transfer the title.

The same is true with our sins- we can’t give them up to God until we own them. And if we keep thinking that we are the victims, that we aren’t accountable for what we do and say, and (ultimately) that it “isn’t our fault”, then how can we really be free of our sin?  If we don’t own it, we can’t get rid of it.

I am sure we all know someone, or some people, who pretend to be Believers, who talk the talk, but they don’t ever really admit their sinfulness, and they always seem to be a victim. I have known people that screw up their lives with foolish and immature decisions, then blame God for the Tsuris they get. I have heard people say that God is punishing them when it is clear that they are just making bad decisions. They don’t own up to their own stupidity and immaturity, so bad things happen. But it’s not their fault, oh no! They are Believers, they are godly people who pray all the time, but yet they must have done something wrong because God is against them, or they say they are under attack (presumably from the Enemy.)

The Enemy won’t attack you unless you are getting closer to God; if you don’t take responsibility for your own actions, there is no way the Enemy will be after you since you already are far from being able to get closer to God. Your sin keeps you away; the sin of irresponsibility, the sin of self-righteousness, the sin of rejecting the very essence of what God is telling us all- that He is the Judge, He is the one whose way is fair, and that He is the one who will repay.

Forget fair, forget what someone else did to you, forget why, just remember this: we are, each and every one of us, accountable to God for what we do and what we say. That’s all that will matter when we are before His Throne of Judgement. If we defend ourselves saying we cursed them out because of what they did to us, God will still hold us accountable for cursing someone out, won’t He? If we “get back” at someone, won’t God, fairly and rightfully, say that He told us not to repay for evil with evil, but wait upon Him? Didn’t He say that He will repay? Aren’t we commanded, over and over, to forgive?

And for those of us who will stand before the Throne with Yeshua at our side as our advocate, how will Yeshua be able to say that He has taken our sins when we haven’t really let go of them? We can’t give our sins to the Lord if we don’t own them. It’s true that Yeshua’s blood can cleanse away all sin, but if we don’t take off our “filthy rags” and place them in the washing machine, how will they be cleaned?

Our sins are our own;  when we are personally and completely accountable for them, only then can we truly be able to give them away.

Are you ready to own your sins? It’s the only way to be rid of them.

God’s Mercy in Action

Leave a comment

Do you recall what happened when Joshua first attacked Ai?

They had just come from a great triumph at Jericho, defeating the fortified town and destroying all the people and all the booty, just as God commanded.

Oh, but wait! Someone didn’t destroy all the booty, did he? Achan kept some of the spoils, against the commandment of God, and because of that the entire community (God sees the Children of Israel as a single entity) suffered defeat when they attacked Ai. Only a handful of the inhabitants routed the army of 3,000 Israelites, and could have damaged, if not destroyed, the fierce reputation that Israel was beginning to generate.

After the sin was atoned for (at the cost of the life of Achan, his entire family and all their possessions), the next attack at Ai was totally successful.

Here’s the part where, after such a harsh punishment, we see God’s mercy: God told Joshua that after destroying the town and people of Ai, the Israelites could keep the spoils. Achan paid the price for his disobedience, but God saw the weakness of the people, and instead of testing them further He mercifully relented and allowed them to keep the spoils, knowing that they were unable to control themselves.

Often I heard it said that God will never test us beyond our measure, and I believe that. However, I also see in the Bible that God will, initially at least, test us to the full extent of our self-control and obedience.  The man who collected sticks on the Sabbath (in B’midbar/Numbers) was killed for his sin, yet those that collected extra manna were not killed for their sin (to God, sin is sin- there is no little sin or partial sin, so collecting extra manna when told not to is no different than collecting sticks on the Sabbath.) All that happened to them was that the manna did not survive longer than the regular manna.

God showed His mercy to the children of Israel in the desert. How many times did He want to destroy them for their sins? He sent birds to give them meat, but they suffered a plague from it which Aaron stopped. He sent poisonous snakes to kill them, but then he mercifully allowed those bitten to live; I am sure that many died before Moses made the brass snake that kept people alive. He sent a plague against them that Pinchus stopped, He sent a plague against them when David sinned with the census, but then withheld His hand. He was even merciful to Ba’alam by not killing him on the road to curse the Jewish people (Ba’alam got his later, though, for the sin of telling Bilam how to entice the Jewish men into sin.)

God starts out with His laws and commandments, and the first ones to disobey usually are the ones who end up showing that God is serious. The first to disobey get the worst of it, but it seems, as I read the Manual, that God’s mercy will intervene after that and even though others may sin, their punishment is less severe.  God is our King, but His mercy allows us to survive our own disobedience, as a people. Individuals will suffer, but the people will go on. God told Moshe (Exodus 33) that He will show mercy to those whom He will show mercy, and have compassion for those whom He will have compassion for.

Basically, God says that He will choose who gets the full monty and who doesn’t. It’s not our choice, so, in essence, you pays your money and you takes your chances. If we choose to sin, we may get away with our lives, we can be forgiven, but we may end up destroyed in a heartbeat, too.

Do you really want to take that chance? Is the reward we get from any sin worth our life? Our eternal soul? Achan, Saphira, Ananias, the guy who collected sticks- they all died in their sin.

God is King, Judge, and merciful Father. All in one. He will decide what the outcome of a sin is, and we have to decide to try to keep from sinning. He will forgive those who seek forgiveness, over and over. We see that throughout the Tanakh- no matter how often Israel sinned against the Lord, when they did T’Shuvah and cried out to Him, even though they fully deserved their punishment and the suffering they were undergoing, His mercy came forth upon them and He sent them a saviour. The Book of Judges shows this happening, over and over.

Trust God to be merciful, but never, never, NEVER expect Him to be merciful when you want Him to be. It’s His choice, not yours. The best thing to do is be as obedient as you can. God has set the rules and it is up to us to follow them. If  we fail to obey by accident He has shown He is willing , even desiring, to forgive when we come before Him asking forgiveness. However, if we disobey purposefully, well…you are taking your chances with His mercy. Personally, I don’t think there is anything on Earth that is worth having if it means taking a chance on God’s mercy. Therefore, as for me and my family, we choose the Lord and His ways.

I know, because of my sinful nature, I will fail to obey at some point in my life. Probably more than just once, too. Because my heart wishes to obey, I have hope from knowing how God has been merciful, and I pray that God will be merciful in His judgement of my actions. I pray that I will be one of those sinners He chooses to have mercy on and compassion for.

Some of you may be feeling uncomfortable with the idea that God may not be merciful, because the usual teaching is all about God’s mercy and compassion, His love, His son’s love, forgiveness of sins, take you as you are, unconditional salvation, happy-happy-happy, yadda-yadda-yadda. All that is true, but we have to also remember that He is holy, the Holy of Holies, and sin is an anathema to Him. It is a stench in His nostrils and He has no desire to be anywhere near sin. We are told that we should not test the Lord, our God, but if we sin and expect Him to be merciful every single time we sin, we are really telling God what to do, aren’t we? He says it is His choice, and He is, after all, the one who makes the rules. He invented this game called life; He made the rules, He set the board, He determines what is a good roll and what is a bad roll, and He has the final say and judgment on everything that happens while you are playing. Don’t even think of expecting His mercy when you intend to sin; if you sin by accident, if you sin before you realize what you are doing, be penitent, ask forgiveness and pray for His mercy. Don’t expect it, don’t demand it, but plead for it in earnest and heartfelt prayer, with a broken spirit and a contrite heart. David knew how to ask for forgiveness, and he was a man after God’s own heart, so do as David did.

God is merciful, He loves every single one of us, and He wants us to have eternal life. He isn’t just willing to forgive- He wants to forgive. BUT…He is God, He is holy, and He will judge. He didn’t make the rules just so we could break them, and He made the rules for everyone. It’s not what we want the rules to mean, it’s what He says the rules mean, and that will count for us or against us. That’s why you need to read the Bible and see what God says, then measure it against what your ‘religion’ tells you, because ultimately you will stand before Him and you will have no one to blame but yourself.

Yes, we are saved by the sacrificial death of Yeshua, and His life, His death and His resurrection is proof that He is Messiah. And yes, He will stand at our side when we are before the Lord on Judgement Day and speak for us. It is His righteousness that saves us, not our own. Yet we still want to be honored, don’t we? Dont’ you want God to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” when you are before Him?  I certainly wouldn’t want to hear God say, “Okay, you’re in, but you barely made it; you did a lousy job when you were alive, so you can clean the toilets and dust the stars. And don’t think even think of eating at the adult’s table!”

God is good, all the time. God is righteous and holy, all the time. God is merciful, NOT all the time. God told us this about Himself, so remember that the next time the little red guy with the horns on your shoulder tells you it’s okay to do something because God is merciful. Don’t test God and don’t take His mercy for granted. Do what is right and let righteousness guide your way.

Be Intolerant To Tolerance

1 Comment

I have often said (and most likely will continue to do so) that whatever the “world” sees as correct and justified is most likely not so in God’s eyes.

Every day we see evil and wrong-doing, and most of the time we just look the other way. Is that wrong? From what I read in the Bible, it is. Does’t God tell us that if we see an enemy’s donkey under a load that is too much for it, we should help? Doesn’t Proverbs tell us to give our enemy food and water? Doesn’t Yeshua tell us to forgive someone not 7 times, but 70 times 7 times? Doesn’t the Bible command us to love our neighbor as ourself?

We also, way too often, are too afraid to speak out against what God says is wrong. We don’t want to appear “intolerant” or racist/homophobic/bigoted, or whatever other label someone wants to place on a person who simply disagrees with them.

If I say that a person who is homosexual is doing what the Bible says is wrong, I am accused of being homophobic and an intolerant bigot. If I say that a homosexual person is perfectly normal, acceptable, and that he or she is not sinning or doing anything wrong, I am looked upon by the world as  a tolerant and wonderful person. But in God’s eyes I am wrong.

For the record- I am not saying the KKK, the Aryan Nation, or any other violent and hate-crime related organization or member is acceptable or that hating someone for their color, religion, lifestyle choice or any other reason is OK. It is not. Don’t go off of the deep end here- I am talking about “socially acceptable” levels of disagreement and not violent or bigoted feelings and actions that are not biblically defined.

God is clear about homosexuality. It is a sin, but it is no more or less a sin than lying, since every sin is a sin. If I say I just don’t believe homosexuality is a correct way of life I am called all sorts of nasty names; however, if I say I am against lying I am perfectly alright. Why? Because the difference between whether I am a bigot or OK is what the world says I should accept. In God’s eyes, though, wrong is wrong.  God doesn’t really put sin in different categories: this one is a major sin, this is a minor sin, you need three of these to even count…violation of a single stroke in the Torah is a sin. Yes, there are sins that require death and sins that do not, but my point is that any sin separates us from God, and we should speak out against any and all sin. And do so remembering that we, also, are sinners.

I believe everyone has a right to choose what they will be and what they will do, so long as it doesn’t interfere with the rights of others. Be whatever you want to be, but don’t force it on me or demand I agree with you. Have you noticed how some people, no matter what their belief or position, will raise a holy stink about how they aren’t allowed to just be themselves, but when you disagree with their position they call you a bigot or some other nasty name? What hypocrites! They cry for their right to be what or who they are, and demand to be accepted when they make their own choice, but if you choose to disagree with them you are wrong! Being tolerant in the world means not just accepting a different lifestyle or belief, or religion, or color…it means you have to change your mind about it. The world says that tolerance means you not only have to live with it, but also accept it as correct and normal behavior, and you have to like it, too!

If I say I don’t believe that something is right, and won’t change my mind, I am wrong! I am intolerant, I am a bigot, I am not a good person.Well, then I guess, as far as the world is concerned, I am just that. Yes, I do not believe many of the things we see in our society are acceptable behavior, I do not believe they are healthy for the society, and I believe they are wrong. In God’s eyes, using the Bible as my guideline, they are wrongful acts and doing those things is committing a sin against God.

There! I said it. I am against the world.

Apathy is no better than intolerance, but at least when you don’t give a darn about anything, you are more likely to be accepted. Not caring is one step less annoying than having an opinion. However, as far as God is concerned (disagree if you want but you will be wrong…just joking) not doing the right thing in God’s eyes is the same as doing the wrong thing.

I guess this little rampage I am on is a pet peeve of mine, so please excuse me if I am talking more about what Steven feels today than (maybe) what God says. I do believe my minor rampage is still biblically accurate and appropriate, and if I am too much about my own opinion and getting away from what God teaches us, someone please let me know.

We who are professing to love the Lord, who say we believe in Yeshua as the Messiah and have accepted God’s Grace, and who have the Ruach HaKodesh living within us: we are the ones that are supposed to be separate from the world. And, as such, we need to have the strength and faith in God to voice our opinion when we see something that is against what God says. And we should do it when appropriate, and with loving compassion. Not agreeing with someone is no reason to accuse them of being anything but wrong in God’s eyes. Hate the sin, but love the sinner.

The Torah was given to Israel to separate them from the world. Within Torah the Levites are separated from the other tribes. The closer we get to God, the more separated we become from the world around us.

If the world says following God and proclaiming God’s Word is intolerant and bigoted, you can hang that sign on me. It may be just another type of big yellow Star of David that separates me from the rest of society, but if I must wear the Star, I will do it, proudly.

Yes, I am intolerant of sin. Yes, I will speak out to those who ask me what I believe exactly what the Bible says and what God demands, which is what I believe. Yes, I will call something that is defined in the Bible as a sin, a sin. Yes, I will not let someone, no matter who, that is doing wrong not be given the chance to know what God says so they might do T’Shuvah, and be saved.

No, I will not hate the sinner. I will hate only the sin. No, I will not attack or suggest harm should come to anyone who sins because that is God’s purview. Do not return evil for evil, but wait upon the Lord.  No, I will not walk by or look away when someone is doing wrong to another.

Shaul said that we live in the world but we are not part of the world. Not anymore. It is not easy; Yeshua said those that follow Him must pick up and carry their own execution stake every day. We must be dying to self, which means becoming more and more separated from the world. That means separated from what is comfortable, what has been pleasurable, from friends, from family, even from those closest to us, if it comes to that.

Tolerance and apathy are two sides of the same coin, and as a Believer we don’t want that coin in our pocket. As Yeshua said, give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and give unto God that which is God’s. Let what the world calls “tolerance” belong to the world, and let those who follow God be separated from it.

Why We Don’t Know How to Love

1 Comment

“Huh?  Why do you say we don’t know how to love, Steve? I love my spouse, I love my kids (most of the time), and I love and have loved many other people in my life. And, of course, I love the Lord!”

Good for you. But look at all the other people in the world that don’t know how to love. The terrorists can’t possibly love with all that hatred in their hearts. Oh, they may like, they may lust, they may even really adore, but I don’t believe they can possibly love, not like we learn from God, when they do such horrible things.

Read the Dear Abby, the Ask Amy, or whomever is the advice columnist in your local paper. I can’t count how many times I have read something along these lines:

I have been with this person for x years and s/he is hateful and cruel. I am yelled at for not doing anything, then yelled at for doing something wrong, even when it is exactly as they told me. I am scared of being hurt, he has had three affairs and drinks too much. She spends our money and I have seen her name on multiple dating sites. There are emails with co-workers that are sexually explicit. But they’re really a wonderful person and I love him/her. What do I do?

You are with someone who cheats, is brutish, scares you, is having affairs, keeps secrets, wastes your money and drinks too much, but you think they’re wonderful, love them and just don’t know what to do? OY!!

Look- love does not conquer all. To be in any relationship where you are considered second class and mistreated is not only a sin the other person commits against you, but is also a sin you commit against yourself! I am not saying to ditch your main squeeze at the first sign of trouble, and we are married for better or worse, but that doesn’t include debasement, infidelity, and abusiveness. These things need to be handled. Even Yeshua, who stood up for the sanctity and holiness of marriage, said that infidelity is a reason for divorce. And Shaul told us that if we are in a relationship that is unevenly yoked the Believer is allowed to leave, but only if the non-Believer wants that. He goes on further to say that they should stay together because the one may be saved by the other, but not if your safety is threatened.

This confusion about relationships, which is so prevalent it sends the love columnist’s kids through college, is rampant because reading the Bible is a rarity. God tells us how to treat each other, and through the writings of the Prophets and some of the Epistles of Shaul, we can see clearly how God loves us and how we should, thereby, love each other.

God’s love is unconditional, but not enabling. He will punish us when we are wrong and He will allow us to choose our own fate. He will protect and nourish us when we are faithful, and when we reject Him He will allow us to be on our own. But He still loves us and is always willing, and hopeful, that we will repent of our sins and turn back to Him.

The Torah shows us how God’s love is unconditional, but His blessings and presence are. We must obey and remain obedient in order to have His constant protection and blessing. Reading the book of Judges, as well as the writings of the Prophets, Kings and Chronicles shows us how God has constantly shown His love, yet allowed us to wander, to prostitute ourselves with other gods (have an affair), mistreat and berate Him (by rejecting His laws) and be abusive (taking His name in vain, choosing to work on His holy days, even watching football religiously but never attending services or reading His word.)

God loves us and wants to be with us, always. He wants us to bask in His glory and be joyful. He also provides everything we need for this to happen. Then He has to watch us throw it all in the garbage, curse Him, ignore Him, reject and even forget about Him, totally. There are many who don’t even believe He exists. Yet, He still loves us.

However, He isn’t writing to Dear Abby saying, “I have created them, I gave them the Earth and everything in it, which I created for them, and I have nurtured, protected and kept them alive for millennia, yet they don’t care a whit about me! All they want to do is what they want to do- I tell them how to be happy and they choose not to; I tell them how to treat others and they spit in my face; I tell them to keep away from the Enemy because he will lead them to ruin and they laugh at me and follow him gladly. I love them and show them my love, yet they have affairs with other gods, like money, professional sports, career activities, and they prostitute themselves with gluttony and avarice and fornication. I just don’t know what to do, Abby.”

What do you think she would say? I’ll bet that getting professional help will be in there, somewhere.

Here’s what I’d like to see them say: “READ THE BIBLE, YOU DUMMY!! Get to know what love is and what love is supposed to be, and then go find it. You can’t be loved until you learn how to love, so read about God and learn how to love so you won’t be saddled with some schmo like the one you have.”

We need to do everything we can to save our marriage, to work with our steady love interest, and to make the relationships in our life worthy of God’s blessing. But it takes two to tango, and if you are the one doing all the work, and the other side is just not caring at all about you, your feelings or you needs, you are not in a healthy, Godly relationship. If the other side is not willing to change or even try, you need to realize that, just as God allowed His loved people to wander off and nearly destroy themselves in order to come to their senses, you need to allow your other half to do the same. You need to talk, offer compromise, go to counseling, and try hard. If this is something the other side says he or she is willing to do, then be patient, show the truest form of loving in that you will abide by that person and help them, even if they are being somewhat cruel to you, and forgive them as long as they really want to change and ask for it.

If none of that is happening, though; if the other person is unwilling to try, unwilling to listen or care about you, and unwilling to love you as you should be loved, then let them do what they want to do, but let them do it on their own. The books I mention above show that God, despite His love for us, despite His unbelievable level of compassion and forgiveness, and despite His willingness to overlook our past and our many sins against Him, still underwent a series of “trial separations” from His people. He left His bride alone, naked and wallowing in her own vomit, exposed and ravaged by her enemies until she realized her wrongdoings and asked for forgiveness, promising to do as she should.

Then He gladly and joyfully accepted her back. Now that’s what love is.

In our relationship with God, we must be faithfully obedient, and in our relationship with each other, we must be loving, compassionate, forgiving and treat each other as we would want to be treated.

If you aren’t getting that in your relationship today, forget Dear Abby or Ask Amy and go to the Bible. See what God says, and bring that book to your other half. Follow what God does, what Shaul tells us love should be, and stand up for yourself.

I am not saying to call a divorce lawyer. I am saying we should all know what love is, as God tells us and not what people say. People are stupid, self-centered and sinful. People are obstinate, stiff-necked and selfish. People are always trying to get something for themselves, people are…well, they’re people!

As someone once told me: Humanity is a wonderful thing- it’s the people that ruin it.

Learn about how to love from the one who created it, who set the standards, and who is a constant source of renewal and strength: Adonai.

If you are looking for love and not finding it in your life or your relationship, stop looking around and start looking up. God is always there to show you how He loves you, and to give you the love you want. Once you have that, then you can go find it in the world because you will know what to look for.

Don’t Ask To Be Forgiven If You Are Planning On Doing It Again

Leave a comment

I was praying yesterday and, as usual, asked for forgiveness for sins I have committed. I like to first ask to be forgiven my sins, then I raise up those I love to be forgiven for what they do, especially Alex and Bryce, my children who have rejected me and don’t even know the Lord. I do it in this order because in the Torah the Cohen HaGadol (Head Priest) had to be cleansed first before he could act as intercessor for the people, so I ask to be cleansed before I intercede for those I pray for.

That’s when it hit me…I had done something that morning that is, by technical standards, a sinful act. It is not terrible; it’s one of those “minor” sins (if you will be kind enough to accept that term, even though we all know any sin is a sin) that I find myself doing on occasion because, well, I like it. As I was going to ask for forgiveness, the realization that I intend to do this again made me feel that I was wrong to ask God to forgive me.  To ask forgiveness for something that I do not want to stop doing, something for which I have not done T’Shuvah, seems wrong to me. It is like throwing the fleece before God. I mean, really…forgive me for this but I am going to do it again, so forgive me then, too. Is that right? Is it fair to ask God to forgive me for purposefully rejecting His instructions, especially when I fully intend to do it again?

I decided I was wrong on two counts- wrong for doing something that is not Godly and correct in His eyes, and even more wrong for asking Him to forgive me when I don’t intend to stop doing it.

I know, I know… now you all think I am less than what you hoped for. I have sinned, I sin and I will continue to sin (I sound like Caesar saying, “Veni, vidi, vici”) and that is why I think it is wrong of me to ask God to forgive me for this thing. I’m not perfect. I am getting better, but still, I am not perfect. I’m not bragging about it, and I am not beating myself up over it. I would like to be able to overcome this one little thing, but I haven’t, and that’s probably because I don’t want to stop.

After I felt that I shouldn’t ask forgiveness, I asked God to show me a sign (I was on a roll for doing wrong, wasn’t I?) The sign I asked for was to demonstrate His forgiveness by taking away all desire to do the thing I won’t ask forgiveness for. In other words, I feel unjustified to ask forgiveness for doing something I know I will purposefully do again, so I asked Him to show His forgiveness by taking away the desire to do this. Don’t just forgive me, but change me so I won’t need to ask forgiveness for this again. Rewire my brain to no longer be satisfied by this act, to no longer feel the need for the “worldly” satisfaction derived from this act.

Here’s the difference: I will ask for forgiveness for doing things I shouldn’t do and that I don’t want to do; for instance, using bad language, having mean thoughts, for being the sarcastic, cynical and attitudinal New Yorker I am at heart.  I won’t ask forgiveness for doing the things I shouldn’t do that I still want to do. Why? Because if I still want to do them I haven’t turned, I haven’t given them up, I haven’t chosen God’s way over my way. I don’t feel right in asking for forgiveness for doing something which I choose to not stop doing. It’s not fair to God, and I feel like it is stomping the blood of Messiah into the dirt. He suffered and died so that I can be forgiven, and if I ask for His blood covering for something that I choose to keep on doing, well, to me that would be more of a sin than the thing I actually am doing.

What do you think? If we choose, willingly and willfully, to perform an act which we know is sinful, whether it be eating ham, cursing out the neighbor, or as terrible as having an affair, and we know we will continue to do that, are we justified in asking for forgiveness? More than that, if we choose to continue to do it, will we be forgiven if we ask for it? Will God forgive something that we are NOT sincerely sorry about?

Yeshua said that if your brother asks to be forgiven, you should forgive him, not 7 times but 70 times 7 times. However, I have always thought the underlying assumption is that the brother asking for forgiveness is sorry for the sin he committed. If he isn’t sorry, if he isn’t truly doing T’Shuvah, then should/will he be forgiven?

There’s the parable that follows this about the servant who was forgiven a debt and refused to forgive the debt owed to him. For his unforgiveness his own debt was recalled against him. My interpretation of this parable is that the servant was sinfully selfish, in that (1) he borrowed a large sum he couldn’t pay back and (2) did not forgive a small debt that was owed to him. He did not do T’Shuvah from his sin, as demonstrated by his actions. And, not being repentant, his sin was laid back upon him. He wasn’t forgiven because he didn’t want to repent of his sin.

I will not ask forgiveness for things that I know I shouldn’t be doing but choose to continue to do, whatever they are. I will, however, ask God to help me do T’Shuvah, to give faith to my faithlessness, to strengthen me through the Ruach to not just overcome sin, but to hate it to the point where sinning is painful to me. Any sin. And if I ever reach that point, then and only then can I justly ask for forgiveness for a sin I keep committing.

I like to say that before I was saved I was a sinner who rationalized my sins, and now I am a sinner who regrets my sins. To all of you, and before God, here and now I confess: there are some sins I still choose to do.

The bottom line is we will be forgiven anything, over and over, when we are truly repentant, when we come before God with a broken spirit and a contrite heart, and when we choose to stop doing what it is we are doing. When I reach the point that Shaul reached, confessing he was a wretch because he did the things he didn’t want to do, and did not do the things he wanted to do, then and only then will I be able to ask forgiveness for anything and everything I do wrong.

I have a rather long and arduous journey ahead of me. What about you?

Looking in All the Wrong Places

Leave a comment

Do you know the love song that goes, “I was looking for love in all the wrong places…?”

We get two newspapers every day; one has Dear Abby and the other carries Ask Amy. As I said yesterday, I often see something about God, or the results of not having God in our lives, in the newspapers. These two columns certainly do not disappoint when looking for such inspiration.

Between the two of these this morning I read about:

1. A woman who has had the same boyfriend for 13 years (get off the pot already!) is mortified because he called her a bad word in the heat of an argument. He apologized, but she just can’t let go of the pain;

2.  A widower is too attracted to online porn and is wants to know if he is spending too much time looking at it;

3. A woman who eats lunch often with a co-worker told the person not to drink and drive and that person got upset and defended herself, telling the woman it’s none of her business. Now the woman is so upset and so disrespectful of the other woman she doesn’t think she can eat lunch with her anymore.

Oy! What is wrong with these people? Didn’t they ever hear about forgiveness? The woman who has a boyfriend for 13 years? Commit already, or get someone who will. And in 13 years this is the first time he said something hurtful. The word he used is the term for a female dog, and he apologized later. I can tell you, in the real world, calling a woman a B**ch is nowhere near some of the things I used to say when I was not a Believer, and I got back the same. You’re mad, you’re in a heated argument, you’re a stupid, self-centered egocentric human being who is born into sin, and you say something hurtful because you feel attacked, too.  When things calm down, you regret what you said and you apologize. This happened what? Once? In 13 years?  And the woman is devastated? C’mon, grow up! No wonder you’re 13 years into this relationship and you aren’t even engaged. If I was the guy and I saw this, I would be thinking what other small and relatively insignificant things might I accidentally or unknowingly do that are pretty much harmless, but will throw this woman into a fit of angst that she can’t get over? Time to move on before I waste any more time here.

The widower that thinks he is online too much. The answer given was pretty much on the spot- if you think you’re spending too much time online, you are. He starts by saying he still has a healthy sex drive- there’s not much about pornography that is “healthy”. Get out into the world, help other people instead of watching people sell their bodies and do perverted things.

Finally, this woman who is (my guess) probably too much about her own opinion, so much so that she feels she is allowed to tell another adult that she shouldn’t do something. Now, in all fairness, maybe she presented herself in a nice and caring way. It is good to be concerned about the health of others, and drinking and driving (the woman doing this was deaf, which makes it even worse) is a bad idea, but when you tell someone they shouldn’t be doing something, and they become defensive and tell you to mind your own business (whether nicely or straight-out), you probably should. You made your feelings known, and they were rejected. People have a right to reject your opinion; it’s not a put-down, and it certainly isn’t reason to reject them totally, as this woman seems to suggest she wants to do now. This has pridefulness written all over it, on both sides. The unstoppable force has met an immovable object, so what do you do? You change course. You say to yourself, “I don’t think what she does is right or safe, I told her, and she doesn’t want to hear it. Let’s talk about something else.” That’s how you handle it- you said your piece, it was heard and rejected, you did what you wanted, she did what she wanted, it’s over: now, let’s eat.

Why do I read this stuff? Often I start reading it, then I just have to stop. I get too upset and frustrated with the total lack of God in people’s lives, and often really angry at the ones who write in how they are “God-fearing” and have been “good Christians” all their lives, then complain about someone in a way that shows pridefulness, no desire to be understanding, and a total lack of compassion. They are the ones who make it hard for the rest of us to demonstrate God’s love and goodness (BTW…no one is “good.”  Yeshua said that, and if the Son of Man, who is also the Son of God, is adamant that no one, not even Himself, is good- only God is good- then no one should call themselves a “good” anything!)

These people show us how horrible life is without God. How do I know they aren’t Believers? I don’t. They may be Believers, or not. They may practice a religion, or they may be Atheists. In any case, if they aren’t asking God for guidance, they are going to the wrong place for advice.

That’s what the title for this Drash is about- going to the wrong place for answers. The advice columnists mean well and do serve a good purpose most of the time. I have nothing against them. However, go to them and you will only get worldly advice. You will be told you need to get therapy (this is a standard answer; I think they must have family in the mental health business) and they are willing to say, now and then, to get involved in activities where they worship. They will even, on occasion, recommend talking to someone the person trusts, like a religious leader. But for the most part, their advice will be politically correct. I have been reading these articles for a long time and cannot remember once Abby or Amy or Miss Manners or anyone ever saying that the writer needs to get more of God in their life.

When we have issues with our partners, our family, our boss, co-workers, whoever, we need to see, first and foremost, what God says. God is the ultimate source of what we should do, how we should act, how we should treat others, and (I think most important) how we should act when others don’t treat us as we would treat them. I don’t know if you agree or not, but I think one of the most important, and difficult commandments God gives us, is to forgive those who hurt us. We aren’t commanded to ask forgiveness, but we are commanded to forgive. It seems to me God is more interested in how we react to being sinned against than He is about when we sin. Sin isn’t good, no way! But it seems to me God really wants to see what we do when we are the “damaged party”; like that is the true litmus test to show how humble and spirit-filled we are. The Besorah (Good News) talks about when Yeshua was led to slaughter, how He didn’t say a word against those that were wrongfully accusing Him. I’m sure there are many reasons why, but one reason has to be that He was humble and accepted being wronged before He would assail at His accusers. He could have easily used His wisdom and the Ruach to not only defeat the accusations, but totally destroy the people. After all, in the End Days, He will utterly defeat the Enemy with no more than a word from His mouth.

But He remained silent, He remained humble and did not return evil for evil.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t stand up for our rights, but we need to think , case by case, if our rights as a human being under a legal system, or within a cultural environment, are more important than the way God wants us to act. And when we aren’t sure about how to react to a  perceived wrong done against us, we should go to God first, then again, and lastly we should go back to God. If we can’t get the right answer from God, we need to listen better. Yes, go to your Pastor, Priest, Rabbi, Minister, go to people you worship with and know who have shown you they are Godly and know the Word of God. Remember the advice that Yacov (James) gave: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Listen to people as compassionately as you want those people to talk to you. But let God give you the answer.

Next time you feel like going to Dear Abby, go to Dear Abba, instead.