Tag: forgiveness

The World Says We Are All Victims!

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I sometimes get my inspiration from something in the morning paper. This morning it was one of those advice columnists.

A mother writes in that her teenage son had been molested by a cousin years ago and the mother is frantic. Should she sue? How does she get her son into therapy? Can she have the molester arrested?

Look, molestation of children is a horrible thing and I have no pity or patience with someone molesting a child, or an adult, for that matter. Taking advantage of someone else, whether it be physically, emotionally, or financially, is a sin. God tells us, over and over, to watch out for and protect the widow and the orphan. I believe this is more than just telling us to provide for women who have lost a husband or children without parents: the widow and orphan represent the weak and helpless people in the world, those with no one to provide for them and no one to turn to.

That being said (if you didn’t catch it, that was my disclaimer- here comes the reason for it), what is molestation? If I am 12 or 13 and I “cop a feel” from someone around my age, during a quiet moment together, is that really molestation? Or is it the normal experimentation that pre-pubescent children experience as they learn about their bodies? If I am 32 and I do the same to a niece or nephew who is only 12 or 13, that’s a totally different thing. That’s not what I am talking about.

I remember being in a friends closet in his suburban house with another friend’s younger sister. I was about 15 and she was about 13, built like she was 22. We groped and kissed; we were both experimenting. Is that molestation? Did I destroy her ability to have proper social relationships? Did she ruin my appreciation for women? I am still friends with her brother and a few years ago, nearly half a century later, she and I met when we were at a reunion. This subject came up, and we laughed about how we were so unsure of what we were doing, and she thanked me for teaching her how to “French” kiss.

Today, if something like this happened, I can see the mother and father of the girl trying to get her into therapy, accusing me of rape, and all sorts of nasty accusations going back and forth that will detrimentally affect both of us for the rest of our lives.

We are too sensitive. Dr. Spock turned parents into best friends, Sesame Street taught kids how to concentrate for 5 minutes at a time, and no longer, and today’s cartoon characters are disrespectful to parents, schools, and other authority figures. The result? Today we have a generation totally self-absorbed, with no work ethic, no ambition, no sense of fair play and no communication skills.

We are just so fast to feel wounded and abused. When I grew up I was taught, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Today it’s more like, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words are a felony.” We immediately scream, “I’m a victim!” If you tell a joke with a bad word you are a sexaul abuser. If someone hears from someone else that you told a joke with a bad word, or was racist, or was “inappropriate” in any way, you are in trouble. It’s not gossip or hearsay anymore- it’s acceptable fact. If you so much as compliment a fellow worker, doesn’t matter which gender, you could be in the HR Director’s office being condemned, without ever even knowing who complained, what the complaint was (so you can’t figure out who the abused person is), and you are guilty without even so much as being given a chance to explain. And Lord forbid if anyone should put the two of you together with a mediator to work it out!

The Bible says when someone feels that they have been sinned against, in any form (the Bible says that even having uneven weights is a sin against the Lord), the person who is sinned against should go to the sinner and tell them. This way the sinner has a chance to apologize, ask forgiveness, and make themselves right before the Lord. If they refuse to repent, go back with witnesses (give them a second chance.) Biblically speaking, to be sinned against doesn’t focus on your rights alone. You are to give the sinner his/her right to the opportunity to make atonement to you and to the Lord. As David said, all sins are first and foremost against the Lord, so if someone sins against us our first obligation is to the Lord, to try to let that sinner atone and be right before the Lord. It’s really less about us and more about making all of it right before the Lord.

The world, however, doesn’t want to “work it out”. The world wants to expose the sin and the sinner (leaving the sinned-against totally in secret), and the corporate world is the worst offender of this. In the corporate world, if you want to “get back” at someone, all you have to do is spread a rumor that the person did something sexually inappropriate. You don’t need facts, or proof- just a story. In many cases you don’t even need to make a statement, and you will never have to face the person. If you tell someone in HR that so-and-so keeps telling dirty jokes, or bumps into you now and then in a way that you feel is sexually improper, that is all you need to do to ruin their reputation, and maybe get them fired.

If the world did as the Bible says we should do when someone wrongs another person, in any way, there would be less strife and “disturbed” people in the world. Anger management would be reduced because people would be able to work things out. Personally, if I wrong someone, I am totally willing to apologize. That’s not the world in me, that is the Ruach HaKodesh in me. And if I can apologize, if I can appease the wronged person, explain that I didn’t mean to upset or hurt them, and if that person is one who is willing to forgive and wants to have normal relationships, whether personal or corporate, then we can actually take a sinful episode and turn it around to one where we can build a new friendship.

When people want to work out their differences, they will; when people want to have enmity and strife, they will.

The Bible tells us to work it out, to forgive and to ask for forgiveness, and to try to get along with each other. The world (especially the corporate world- do you sense my indignation at it?) does everything it can to create anxiety, strife and to separate people instead of bringing them together. This is the kind of work that honors and glorifies the Enemy because God is all about truth, and the Enemy is all about lies. The world wants to lie- it wants to say that I am a victim, that you are a victim, that we should get together and accuse someone or some corporation of wrong-doing. And why? So that we feel better about ourselves! So that we can get “justice” for the terrible and outrageous thing done against us. HaSatan means The Accuser. The Enemy accuses God of lying. He told Eve that she wouldn’t die (God lied when He said she would), he accused Job of being worshipful and righteous only because he had worldly goods, and he accused God of failing to protect Yeshua if he would only step off the roof of the Temple.

The Enemy is a liar, and when we lie we honor the Enemy. When people try to make us feel like we are victims, even if we have been taken advantage of, the way that God says to handle it is to go to the sinner, tell them what they did, and give them a chance to repent. God’s focus is on helping the sinner to repent, not helping ourselves to revenge against the person. That’s what it comes down to- the world says you are a victim and entitled to get justice. Sounds good, doesn’t it? What it translates to, in spiritual form, is taking revenge and preventing the sinner from having the chance to repent. Think about it: does the corporate policy where you work give you the opportunity to save the sinner’s soul? No, it doesn’t. However, it allows you to send that sinner to hell in a handbasket; all you need do is accuse them and stand back to watch that person suffer and possibly even get fired. That way not only does this horrible person suffer, but his or her family gets to suffer, also.

Does that really make you feel right with God? You have not only accused someone without giving them a chance to repent, but you have returned evil for evil (Proverbs says that is wrong) and you have taken the place of God by being vengeful (again, a wrongful thing according to Proverbs.) More than just that, you also have refused to give yourself a chance to forgive, as God has commanded us we should. So we sin against God, against the other person, and even against ourselves by exercising our worldly “rights” as a victim.

Let me repeat myself: forcibly touching someone else is wrong, sexually explicit actions or jokes, racist comments or jokes, and anything having to do with private and personal matters are inappropriate in a social or business environment. In fact, anything said or done that someone says they are uncomfortable with should be stopped. You should apologize and ask forgiveness. And they should accept your apology and forgive, completely. If you are unaware of your sinning against someone, they should (according to God) tell you about it. Nicely, maturely, and without anger. They should allow you the chance to save yourself from further sin, separating yourself from God, by telling you so you can make it right with God, and with them.

God wants everyone who sins to atone for that sin so they can be one with Him. The Enemy wants everyone to sin so they will be separated from God.

When we are too afraid or too shy or just too “uncomfortable” to speak up and let someone know they have sinned against us, we are working for the Enemy. That’s why the world wants you to be a victim, so you will want to  seek “justice” (which, from a Biblical perspective, is really vengeance) and to make that sinner suffer for the wrongs done to you. And therapy, oh, yes;! How can we forget therapy? You need therapy to be better. You need someone who worships the Psychology Holy Trinity (Freud, Jung, and Maslow) to tell you how to feel, how to cope, and how to get over this great emotional trauma. Oy! What ever happened to prayer? What ever happened to forgiveness, which is the only way to get over the pain! 

The Enemy wants us to die in our sin, and to make sure the other people do, also. God wants us to repent and to be one with Him, forever. That’s why God tells us how to handle being a “victim”:

1. you bring the wrong done to the attention of the one who did so;

2. you give that person the chance to repent so that they can save their life.

3. If they repent, you forgive them and move on. If they don’t repent, you forgive them and move on. Either way, you are to forgive them whether they ask for it or not, and move on.

That’s God’s way.  Which way are you going to go?

Remember to Forget

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Have you heard the one where two guys are talking about their ex-wives. The first one says, “My Ex isn’t too bad to me. She is still mad at me but she is getting over it.” The other guys says, “My Ex is the kind to forgive and forget- only she never lets me forget what she forgave!”

God forgives and forgets, and He tells us we should forgive, also. In fact, it is a commandment. Check out Mattitayu 6. After Yeshua gives us a template for prayer, He warns us that we are to forgive otherwise we won’t be forgiven.

Do as you would have others do means not just be a nice guy, but treat and consider the other people in your life, all the other people, as you would want them to do to you. That means don’t remember their sins that you have “forgiven” and move on with your life. And I am not talking about reminding them of what you’ve forgiven, as in the story above; what I am saying is that we all must really forget. We have to put it totally out of our mind.

I think God gave us scabs over our wounds to help us remember to forget. Ever peel off a scab too soon? It hurts, and then the wound starts to bleed, all over again. It’s the same way with sin and forgiveness- the sin hurts, we forgive (which forms a scab over the painful part) but if we keep picking at the scab, eventually it starts to bleed again and we have to try to heal all over. And if the wound is deep enough, and we keep working at it, we can not only take much longer to heal (if we ever do) but we may end up scaring ourselves in the process.

Sounds really stupid when you sit back and think about it, doesn’t it?

Forgiveness takes work; it doesn’t come naturally or easily. It requires humility, strength, and compassion. It is the Godly thing to do. Don’t you recall the old saying: To Err is Human; to Forgive, Divine? Methinks there’s a lot more truth in that old Saw then we realize. God forgives our sins when we ask for forgiveness, Yeshua took on our sins to provide forgiveness that is now an everlasting forgiveness, and after all they did for us, the Father and Son simply ask that we do what they did, also.

There’s the parable about the man who owed a fortune and was forgiven the fortune, but then he didn’t forgive a measly sum he was owed. Do you remember what happened to him?

Leave the scab alone. Make an effort to forgive. I say this not because I am better at it than you are, but because I am no better at it! I still have some level of anger about things that happened to me from many, many years ago. The people who sinned against me are probably dead now, and when I think about what their final fate may be, it does make it easier to forgive them for what they did to me because what they will be going through for eternity is so much less than what they did to me, and so much worse than anything imaginable. How can I still have any animosity against them? I can only feel pity for them. Even if it is a deserved torture, it is torture and I don’t think anyone who professes to love God and follow Yeshua can see another living creature suffer and not feel compassion for it.

I don’t believe I can have the Ruach HaKodesh inside me but not feel pity and remorse at knowing about the suffering of another. It just doesn’t seem possible. I know that we will always have the poor, and that suffering is natural in a cursed world. I also probably won’t do a whole lot about most of it. But I still should feel that remorse and pity, otherwise I need to ask myself if I really have accepted Yeshua, if I really have the Ruach HaKodesh inside me, and if I really have done T’Shuvah.

In the criminal justice system, to prove a person is guilty of a crime you need three things: a motive, a means (to commit the crime), and the opportunity.

Salvation is our motive, Yeshua is the means by which we can receive salvation, and God will constantly provide us the opportunity to show we have done T’Shuvah. We live in a sinful and corrupted world, so there will always be someone more than willing to sin against us. There’s the opportunity for you- that’s where you can do what is Godly and right, that’s where you can please the Lord, and that’s where you can show your holiness by forgiving. That’s where you can obey the commandment.

All we need to remember is to forget.

Why God Blesses those who reject him

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When I was a kid, in my early teens, I would curse God. I was depressed, feeling unloved, always angry…you know, those normal adolescent emotional waves of trauma that we all go through. And like many people who don’t understand God, I blamed Him. I had no idea that all the time I was cursing and blaming God for all the bad things in my life, He was gently leading me to Him, to salvation, and protecting me. Both physically and spiritually.

Eventually (it took nearly another 25 years) I found my way to Him. Now I understand better how the world works and how God works. Please don’t get me wrong- I do not understand all about how God works, I just understand it better than I used to.

And one thing I have learned, and truly believe, is that God’s love is totally absent of ego. Oh, He says He is a jealous God, and He is, but I do not believe it is the jealousy we feel, as humans. As a human, my jealousy is selfish, self-centered and (usually) leads to destructive behaviour, either against myself, the person I am jealous for, or both.

I believe (and I have to say this is not something I can quote from the Bible, so I am sharing just my belief) that God is totally focused on our well being. He cares for us so much that He loves and cares for us even when we reject Him for anything else, such as another god, another person, or Monday Night Football; whatever comes between us and God is an idol that separates us from all that God wants us to have. And that is what gets His goat. He is not jealous that we are not loving or worshipping Him for something else, He is jealous that we are not doing what is best for ourselves.

In other words, He is not selfishly angry that He is left out, He is un-selfishly angry that we are hurting ourselves.

Think of someone you love who constantly does things that are bad for him or her: drinking too much, using other drugs that are harmful, maybe never seeing a doctor, never exercising, eating too much, dating total jerks and users…whatever. It is harmful to them, and because you love them it burns you inside that they do this to themselves. And there’s usually little or nothing we can do about it.

It’s like the joke: “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?    Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.”

When people don’t want to be better to themselves, we who love them have to sit on the sidelines and try to help when we can, suffering for them and with them, all the time feeling helpless and forlorn. That’s sort of how God feels when we reject Him.

In the real world, we can’t do anything to change a person’s behaviour if they don’t want to change. The best we can do is be a light for them, an example of what they can feel or be if they do change. And during this process of watching them destroy themselves, we will try to be supportive, try to direct them to the right path, then inevitably (often for our own protection) leave them to their own devices. Or vices, as the case may be.

That’s what God does. He will bless those who curse Him, He will protect them even when they tell Him to leave them alone. God loves us that much. Eventually, though, if someone totally rejects God, and does so long enough, God may just leave them alone. After all, His love is so great that He will do what we ask, even if it may hurt us. Being omniscient, maybe He knows when to leave us alone so that the world will beat us up so much we might finally look to Him for salvation instead of ourselves, or some other god or drug or social fad?  Maybe, maybe not.

I read how someone asked Billy Graham’s daughter how a good God could allow such evil in the world (I think this was after the Columbine murders) and she said, in brief, that we have asked God to leave our lives, to leave our government, and to leave our schools (thank you very much, Brown vs. the Board.) And, being the gentleman He is, He has. That’s why there is so much violence and evil in these places today.

I don’t need to go on about how God has helped, guided, protected and blessed me even as I was rejecting and cursing Him. I am certain that most of you can look back in your lives and remember a time when this was true for you, too. That’s why I don’t need to go into detail anymore than what I have already said.

The point is this: God’s love is so holy, so unselfish, so far beyond any love any human can generate, that He is happy to bless us when we reject Him, when we ignore His Torah, when we teach others to ignore His Torah, and even when we fervently deny the very truth of His existence. In the Manual the Lord says He will have mercy on those He will have mercy on , and not on those He will not. It also says He rains on the just and unjust, alike. God loves us all, and it doesn’t matter if we love Him back or not.

I remember hearing a story in Jewish lore, maybe it’s in the Talmud, but it goes this way:

After the Jewish people crossed the Red Sea, and as the waters were crushing in on the Egyptian soldiers, destroying the army of the Pharaoh, the angels in heaven wanted to sing for joy at the salvation of the Jewish people. But God said not to sing, and when they asked why not, His reply was, “Because my children are dying.” That’s how much He loves everyone.

Unrequited love is hard to live with- I am certain that all of you reading this have had to live through it at one time or another in your life.  I know, absolutely, that every parent has had to live through a time when their own children hated them. I myself have two children whom I  love and miss terribly. They have used me, taken me on an emotional roller-coaster ride and as each one reached maturity (legal maturity, not emotional) and received the inheritance from my parents they were due, they rejected me. It wasn’t even that much money, and they squandered it before it got warm in their hands. They were raised by their mother and it’s a long story; I think I can safely assume that I am not the only one who has such a story to tell. Yet, if they wanted to reconcile (which is my daily prayer) I would do so in a heartbeat, because my heart still beats for both of them. That will never change. And that’s why I think I can understand, to some degree, how God feels and why He still blesses those that hate Him.

That’s just how love works.

 

Forgive Yourself as You Would Forgive Others

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This evening is Kol Nidre, the beginning of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It is all about forgiveness, and usually we concentrate on asking God to forgive us. We ask that He move from the Throne of Judgement to the Throne of Forgiveness, and we are to “afflict our souls” as we request His forgiveness. But it shouldn’t be just about God forgiving us, or about us forgiving others. It should also be about us forgiving ourselves.

It’s strange, isn’t it? That we should be able to forgive others but often we can’t forgive ourselves?  The Manual tells us we should do unto others as we do unto ourselves, and that we will be forgiven as we forgive others. Isn’t the converse true? Are we as willing to forgive ourselves as we are others? If God is willing to forgive us, but we don’t forgive ourselves, then isn’t that the same as saying we are above God, in that He is willing to let it go but we won’t? We think what He does isn’t good enough, He’s too easy- we should be punished! If we think that, then we are saying what we think and feel is more important than what God thinks and feels. That’s idolatry- we put ourselves before God and above Him when we refuse to do what He is willing to do.

If you feel there is something you have done which is so bad you can’t believe God will forgive you, then you just don’t understand Grace. In Romans 5 Shaul tells us that as sin is increased, so to is Grace. Basically, there isn’t a sin big enough that God’s Grace can’t cover it. In fact, Kippur (as in Yom Kippur) doesn’t really mean “atonement”, it means “covering.”  God is covering our sin, like a mother hen protects her chicks by covering them with her wings.

What I find wonderful is that God is not just able to forgive, and not just willing to forgive, but that He wants to forgive!  He even has a means to forgive us for sins we committed in error (see Numbers 15.) In Ezekiel He says He gets no pleasure from seeing the sinners die, but that He would rather they do T’Shuvah and live. His forgiveness is more than just something He does- it’s what He wants to do. I can’t imagine that anyone who even thinks God could exist is not able to grasp that we are sinful and He is willing to overlook that if we only ask Him to do so.

But God is no fool. Just because He will forgive sins doesn’t mean that it’s OK to sin. Today Christianity is teaching that Grace covers everything to the degree that sin is not an issue anymore. We are “under the blood of Christ”; He died for our sins so we are forgiven.  All who call on His name are saved and we are forgiven everything. Just so long as you say you are a Believer and you call on His name you are saved, your sins are forgiven and you get to go to heaven. Just confess and ask forgiveness and you are clean. Hallelujah!  That’s not Grace from sin they are teaching, it’s license to sin. People are being taught that their sins are forgiven simply by asking God to do so, and although that is technically correct, it implies that to continue to sin will have no detrimental effect on your salvation.

That is a lie from the pit of hell! If you continue to sin, without concern, without truly being repentant, you better bring along an umbrella and plenty of Coppertone when you meet the Lord before the Throne. You can ask, and it will be given unto you, but not if you don’t really repent. And the way to be repentant is to stop sinning.

Atonement is not a one-time, slam-blam-I-forgive-you-Ma’am thing. It’s a process. First and foremost, you have to own your sin. That means to recognize your own sinfulness and take responsibility for it. Next, you must do T’Shuvah, that is, turn from your sins. You must really, really want to not sin anymore. Once you have done this, you “own” your sin. And when you own something, you have the right and ability to give it away. That’s the third step- give that sin to God. Ask Him to take it from you, and then “go, and sin no more” (see if you can find that Bible quote.)

This is the start of one of the holiest of the High Holy Days. Even though we have been forgiven, even though we, Believers, understand and accept the Grace of God made possible through the ultimate and final atonement that Yeshua made on our behalf, we still should observe Yom Kippur. Why? Well, first off, it’s a commandment. Duh!! Second, Shaul tells us we should suffer with those that are suffering- not eating or drinking for 24 hours is certainly my idea of suffering!

No, seriously, we should observe this festival because God said we should and to show our non-accepting (of Yeshua) Brothers and Sisters that Messianic Jews do what God said we should do, that we follow the Torah and that being Born Again/ Messianic is not a different religion- it is what being Jewish is all about. It is the epitome of Judaism; to not just follow Torah and hope for a Messiah, but to know the Messiah and be part of God’s plan of redemption. Actually, it is beyond Judaism, it is beyond any religion- it is doing as God said we should do. It is following His commandments. It is being faithfully obedient.

Remember- God has no religion. If you say you believe in God and want to follow Him, to do as Yeshua did, then you better know Torah because that’s the User Manual for the program called Salvation.

When we pray this evening and throughout tomorrow, remember that you need to forgive yourself, too. Also understand that the solidarity we have with the unsaved Jewish people is in our prayers. Look at the prayers- they are often not asking for individual forgiveness, but for corporate forgiveness. The Prophets accepted responsibility for the sins of the people, the Cohen Ha Gadol (High Priest) transferred the sins of the people to the goat or bull to be sacrificed. We are not just asking for our individual forgiveness, but we are interceding for all the people, everywhere. This day is not just about you- it’s about all of us.

Lastly, let me ask you to think of Yom Kippur not just as a holy day, but as an every day activity. In Judaism this day is the culmination of the Days of Awe and leads us into the final festival of this time (Sukkot) when we (now clean) can enter into communion with God as our Fathers did, by living in Sukkot (Tabernacles, or tents.) After this week of intimate communion, we begin our cycle again with turning back the Torah (Simchat Torah) and starting our love affair with God, all over again.

Reconcile Yourself to Reconciliation

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My son is 22 years old today. The last time he talked to me was about a year ago, and then it was to tell me all about how lousy a father I am, I need to grow up, yadda-yadda-yadda. I got this in an email, so I replied and said the things I had forced myself not to say for the prior 21 years, about the truth regarding the marriage break-up with his mother, what I thought about how she had treated Bryce and Alexandra (his older sister, who stopped talking to me years ago because I didn’t give her money for school books- it’s a long story), and other things that I had intended to bring up at some point when he was mature enough to hear it. As it ended up, I figured that was my last chance to say anything, I told him those things, not to “get back” but in the hope that one day he might remember, understand and forgive so we could reconcile.

This is what God has done for us through His Prophets (not that I place myself in God’s position, just to use as an example). All the things I said to Bryce were meant to “wake him up”, to get his mind focused to see what he was doing to himself, and what had been done to him. Just as too often we are too late to realize that we have been fooled, or used by people, I wanted him to see things that he had blinded himself to. This is what God tried to do, what He did with the Prophets, and what Yeshua did. Yeshua, however, talked in parables, and I don’t know why that was necessary. Maybe because the Prophets were straight forward and that did no good; perhaps by talking in parables, the people (stupid as we are) would remember the story even if they didn’t first get the meaning, then eventually it would become clear to them as they retold the story, over and over.

I sent Bryce a birthday card, as I did his sister on her birthday in June. Inside I asked each of them if they are ready to reconcile. I miss them terribly, and I am still hurt and upset that their mother did so much to turn them against not just me, but their grandparents and aunts, too. Yet, I pray for her. In fact, I have taught myself to do that (see my Drash about forgiveness- it’s in here, somewhere) because I don’t know anyone more in need of the love of God than her. I also pray for Alex and Bryce, that they would be reconciled to God, and (I believe) once they are, the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) will turn their hearts to reconciling with me and Donna, their step-Mom.

Human relationships are, at the same time, wonderful and a pain in the you-know-where. We want to have people act the way we want them to, and they don’t. In fact, they shouldn’t- that’s what makes the relationship so wonderful. It’s the differences, as the saying goes, that makes the relationship fun. Of course, we need to be on the same page on the important things. Yeshua said the most important commandments were to love God and each other; not at the expense of all the other laws and regulations, but because doing that will make everything else fall into place. Same with human relationships- you can have opposites attract, but there needs to be a balance, and a common foundation, ethically, morally and spiritually. By loving God we learn forgiveness, and that will keep our relationships strong and rewarding.

Reconciliation is at the core of relationships, whether with God or each other. The main difference is that humans don’t always want to reconcile. I think in some ways they feel it diminishes them, sort of like “giving in” if they want to forgive and rebuild a relationship. How stupid! It takes strength and compassion, not weakness, to be able to reconcile. It takes deep devotion and God-like love to forgive. Those who don’t forgive or want to reconcile will end up alone, lonely and (probably) mad at the world for being so cruel, when all the world is doing is reflecting back what they are to themselves.

The Torah is supposed to be a mirror that we see ourselves in. When I look at Torah, I see a faint, cloudy image: I wouldn’t even see that if not for the Ruach that has helped me to be more like Torah than myself.  The more I die to self, the more the reflection will clear up. The way to help that image become more and more clear is not just be willing to reconcile with people, but actively trying to.

That is the major difference between reconciling with people and reconciling with God- people aren’t always willing to reconcile, but God is always there for you. I believe even if that old imp, Ha Satan ,wanted to truly reconcile with God that God would be overjoyed at his return. Yeshua said that if a brother (or sister, for that matter) asks for forgiveness, we shouldn’t forgive 7 times, but 70 times  7 times. In other words, always.

Are you ready to reconcile? It doesn’t matter if the other person does or not- that is between them and God. As for you, try to reconcile. At Rosh HaShannah a tradition is to go to those you may have upset or sinned against and ask forgiveness, i.e. reconcile with them. It’s hard- it isn’t easy to open yourself to someone and lay your heart on your sleeve. But it has to be done. If it seems really hard, or you are thinking, “Right. You reconcile- the creeps in my life can go to blazes and I will not reconcile with them because they don’t deserve my forgiveness!” you should read Matthew, Chapter 6. Look at what Yeshua says right after He gives us the template for prayer.  Reconciliation isn’t something that you have a choice about, and when you reconcile with God, it is between you and Him. Even when you reconcile with someone else, it is still about you and God. You have a win-win, even if the person doesn’t want to reconcile, because forgiveness is what God gives us and demands that we share with others. Read the parable about the Master who forgives his servant a large debt, but the servant doesn’t forgive a small debt. Scary stuff.

When you go to reconcile with someone, even if you fail because the other party refuses, you are right with God.

I would love it if I could reconcile with my children. I am willing to ask forgiveness, to open a new relationship, but still there are still rules. I am not saying that anything goes, whatever they say, Dad is wrong and will never try to teach them, or refute things with them, or get angry, or ever try to change them. They are too immature and too blind, after years of wrong conditioning, to really know what is best for them.  I mean, really- I’m the Dad. Being a parent is not being a friend, and parents have an obligation to try to teach their children how to get along in the world and protect themselves from harm: spiritual, emotional and physical.  They don’t have to listen, either. They do need to make their own mistakes. It’s a constant battle- parents try to teach the hard lessons they have learned, and children refuse to listen so they end up learning the lessons the same way their parents did- the hard way. Then they have children and the cycle starts, all over again. All I want to do is have them in my life, and to be in theirs. The Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best and My Three Sons innocence of the 60’s TV family life is not what anyone has or ever had. We all come from dysfunctional families. If you think about it, since we are, ourselves, a dysfunctional creature, it only makes sense when you put a bunch of us together that our relationship will be as we are…dysfunctional. I know that we will fight, will have differences of opinions, and will get on each other’s nerves. That’s how humans are, for Pete’s sake! That’s no reason to disown each other.

If you really want to have a right relationship with God, you need to have right relationships with people. You can’t love God and hate people (although I often feel like the less people in the world, the better…and I have a list of names to start with); if you really love Him, you have to obey Him (that’s what Yeshua said) and that brings us back to the two most important commandments.

Please!- reconcile yourself to reconcile with others; I guarantee your life will be so much better when you do.

Spiritual Aspirin

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When someone hurts us by being cruel, or spiteful, or just by accident, it is hard to let it go. I know about this because I have been hurt, and seen my children used and abused (given medications they didn’t need and emotionally conditioned) as an attempt to “get back” at me. Now they don’t even want any part of me, except my money. Yeah- it’s OK to send them money but don’t have any other contact.

Sorry, kids- Luv ‘ya but it don’t work that way.

I am sure many of you have had similar experiences- shunned at work, exploited at home, maybe much worse. By strangers or friends, or even family.

It hurts and all we want to do is make it stop hurting. But how?

The cure is almost harder to accept than the hurt: we need to forgive. Forgiving the person who hurts us is, really, the only way to make the pain go away. You may always be a little “sore” but the pain will fade as you get better at forgiving.

“That jerk doesn’t deserve my forgiveness! Don’t hold your breath waiting for me to forgive them.”  Understood. Acknowledged, and I will even go as far as to say I know just how you feel. But it’s not your choice- God commands us to forgive. In Mattiyahu (Matthew) we are told that if we don’t forgive on Earth our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. And the Lord’s Prayer asks God to forgive us as we forgive others; in other words, measure out to us as we measure out to others. That means if we don’t, He won’t. Hmm….maybe I should revisit my attitude.

In Proverbs we are told that we should give our enemies food and drink, and it will be like pouring hot coals on their head. The idea (I think) is not to be vengeful but to wake them up- make them suffer the indignity of what they did to us by being compassionate to them. Perhaps they will do T’Shuva, and save themselves from Sheol.

In Ezekiel God says He gets no pleasure from seeing the sinner die; rather, he would prefer that the sinner turn from his sinful ways and live. Aren’t we supposed to be holy, as He is holy? We can get closer to God by forgiving.

To err is human; to forgive, Divine. DUH !!!

The other thing to remember is that Proverbs tells us not to return evil for evil, but wait upon the Lord. He will judge. If you think that someone doesn’t deserve forgiveness, you are actually taking the place of God. Not something He is very likely to appreciate, ya know?

I have found, for myself, that forgiveness is one of the hardest things I have to do as a Believer. I discovered something that makes it easier, and I would like to share that with you, hopefully to make it easier for you, too.

Pray for them. That’s right- pray earnestly for the people who hate you and have done you wrong; who have hurt you; who have hurt those you love. When I pray for them, I don’t ask God to forgive them because that decision is actually between them and God. That’s not my place to tell God what to do, but I can ask Him to help them come to Him. I pray they find salvation.

Another way I help myself into being able to pray for someone who has hurt me is to look into the future, and imagine what that person will be facing when they come to judgement. The hurt they caused is finite, and the quicker I pray for them and forgive them for what they did to me, the quicker I will stop hurting. Emotional pain is like a log in my eye: when I remove the log (through forgiveness) I can see the truth about what they will have to endure, for all Eternity. That certainly is nothing compared to what they did to me, which will be nothing more than a faded memory, if even that, when I come into His Glory in the Acharit HaYamim.

It sounds easy enough, but so does anything else until you try it. Truth is, I still get angry and feel the pain of certain things. Deep cuts take a long time to heal, and they always leave a scar. But with God’s help (yes, you most certainly can ask God to help you forgive), the guidance found in His Word, and the peace I receive from the Ruach, I am getting better and better at forgiving.

The more I forgive, the less it hurts. Forgiveness is spiritual aspirin that makes the pain go away.

Here’s another way to look at it: when you forgive something it is easier to forget about it. When you don’t forgive, you end up reliving it, and the pain just keeps coming back. It’s like tearing off the scab before it can heal. And here’s a hard truth that you must accept- if you keep reliving the pain, it is not their fault anymore! That’s right- they hurt you, that was a one-time deal. If the person, or people, hurt you over and over, it is still the same thing.  Each time you relive it, you are now the one hurting yourself. Now it’s your fault, not theirs. Rehearsing our anger is like throwing gasoline on a fire about to die.

If you want to stop hurting, you need to stop reliving the event and forgive the person. Start out by praying for their salvation, and move on. Let their ultimate forgiveness stay between them and God; you do what is right in God’s eyes regarding your own actions. He wants…no, He commands… you to forgive those who hurt you. Obey the Lord. It ain’t easy! Man-o-Manischevitz , it is hard to do!  But do it, we must.

Forgiveness is the only way to make the hurt go away. I know it’s a lousy turn of events. First this piece of work, this sorry excuse for a human being, this so-and-so does horrible things to me and now God tells me I have to forgive them. And if I don’t, I will never feel better. It sounds like a no-win situation.

It’s not; in fact, it’s a win-win because when you forgive you not only make the hurt go away, but you receive God’s blessings in your life. He will bless you for your obedience, and you will be so much better off that you will even start to think (maybe) that the sin against you was itself a blessing in disguise because of the spiritual maturity it helped you to achieve.

Okay, maybe that’s a little far-fetched. But not too much.

Look back in your life and see if there are still scabs that are haven’t healed, wounds festering in your heart and hurts that won’t go away. Pray for that person who sinned against you and see if you don’t feel better. Do it honestly, do it heart-fully, do it trustingly. I really believe that you will feel better, because it has worked for me.

Take spiritual aspirin and call on Him in the morning.

Forgiveness is For Later

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The Bible says that all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved. That’s comforting to know, but what does it mean, really?

It doesn’t mean that you are going to be free of the consequence of your sin. At least, not until you are dead.

Oh, my! That’s not quite as comforting. Can’t we change that? Sorry, no. Forgiveness of sins is something that God does for us, and through the sacrifice of Messiah Yeshua we are all able to ask for, and receive, forgiveness of sins. But the actual, temporal consequences of our sins are something we can’t avoid. When we sin, it is always, and foremost, against God. The next level is against someone else. When God forgives us, it is the sin against Him for which we are forgiven, and that forgiveness will be realized most when we meet Him at Judgement Day.

In the meantime, we have to deal with what we did, here and now. Look at David, who sinned against God (he knew the proper order, as you can see in Psalm 51), against Bathsheba, and against Urriah.  The result of his sin was the birth of a baby boy, and the consequence of his sin was the death of the innocent baby.

Sin is bad, and the worst part (I think) is that the one who seems to suffer the most from my sin is the one I sin against. Sometimes it’s just an innocent. Well, wait a minute! That kinda makes sense, doesn’t it? Not that this is a good thing, but doesn’t the Manual require the blood, i.e. the very life, of an innocent to atone for sin?  Isn’t that absolutely clear? You would think that knowing this we would be more careful, right? On the other hand, sinfulness implies that the person doing the sinning doesn’t really care, doesn’t it?

I sin, and I don’t want to. I know I am a sinner, the Bible tells me everyone sins, we are all born with a sinful nature (whether the Christian thought of original sin or the Talmudic thought of the Yetzer Hara), and we have no hope for overcoming this ourselves. God knew that from the beginning, which is why we can see His promise of a Messiah all the way back to Abraham. The Old Covenant tells us what happened right up to before Messiah comes, and the New Covenant tells us of the Messiah and what will happen when it all comes to an end. That’s one of the many things I love about the Bible,: it takes us from the very beginning to the very end, from what has happened to what will happen, and all the time we see what it is like, even today, in how things and people were then.

Hmmmm….that sounds like “was, is, and shall be”. That should sound familiar to you: it is how we describe God. He was, He is, and He always shall be.  Yochanan (John) tells us (at the beginning of his Gospel) there was the Word, and the Word became flesh. In the D’var Adonai (Word of God) we see this description of the Almighty, and the Word tells us of what was, which we can relate to what is now, and it also describes what will be.

Nice correlation, don’t you think?

Anyway, back to sin.

This is an easy lesson for us to learn. The consequence of our sin is twofold: there is the immediate, earthly consequence and the future, spiritual consequence. We are saved from the spiritual punishment sin deserves by Messiah, but there is no escape from the physical, here and now, consequence. The person(s) sinned against will suffer, and (hopefully) the sinner will also suffer. I don’t mean that as a vengeful statement, but as a hopeful one- if the sinner feels the pain of the sin he or she committed, then there is a hope for the future. Maybe they will do T’Shuvah and save themselves. For the sinner that doesn’t care, the future will only get darker.

I don’t think that anyone who sins against God and doesn’t care is really going to feel the pain of their sin, whereas I know, for a fact, that others will feel it. We need to first and foremost ask forgiveness from God, then we need to ask it from those we have sinned against.

With the approach of Rosh Hashanah, I am reminded of a tradition performed at this festival. We are to go to those we may have sinned against and ask for forgiveness. It is an old Jewish tradition, and for those who don’t think that Yeshua did Jewish things, read Matthew 5:24. Yeshua tells the people to do exactly what this tradition says to do. It’s as I always say (besides “God has no religion”): there is nothing “new” in the New Covenant.

Those of you who think that you may have sinned against someone, either in word or thought or deed, go ask for forgiveness. First from God, then from the person. If your heart is truly repentant, God will grant you forgiveness when you ask in the name of Yeshua Ha Mashiach. However, you don’t know what will happen when you go to the human being you sinned against. That person may not forgive you; in fact, you may get a real tongue-lashing. Accept it, and move on. You did right in God’s eyes by asking for forgiveness, and you will do much, much better in His eyes when you forgive those who sinned against you. It doesn’t matter whether they ask you or not. You are commanded, as we all are, to forgive. Check it out in Matthew 6:14-15. There are other places, too, throughout the Tanakh and B’rit Chadashah: check it out for yourself.

Since we are commanded to forgive, if we don’t forgive, we are actually sinning, aren’t we? Isn’t a sin defined as doing something God said not to do?  If so, then is not doing something God said we should do the same thing? A sin? I think so…what do you think?

Heck, why argue? Just forgive; if for no other reason, it is the only way to make the pain go away. Anywho, this is getting into a totally different topic.

Sin stinks. It reeks to High Heaven. Fortunately, God provided a way for us to avoid the Eternal consequences of our sins. Praise Him and thank you, Yeshuah!

In the meantime, be careful. Guard your tongue, control your feelings, always pray to Adonai that He guide you with the Ruach HaKodesh. And if you haven’t accepted your own sinfulness and come before Yeshua asking for Him to intercede with God, you better hurry up. The times, they are a’changin’, and not for the better.  Think about it: since the End Days are in the future, that means every day brings us closer, not further, from the time we will all face God at His judgement throne.  If Yeshua isn’t your defence attorney(everyone wants a Jewish lawyer) , you is in big trouble!

 

Are You Saved Because You’re Selfish?

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Huh? What you talkin’ about?  I’m saved by the promise of the Almighty. Yeshua died for me. I called on the name of the Lord and He saved me. God loves me.

Yadda-yadda-yadda.

Oh, yes, it is true that Yeshua died so we could be saved, that God is forgiving and loves us, that all who call on His name will be saved, and all that other stuff that makes us feel warm and cozy inside.

But are you saved because you love the Lord or because the Lord loves you? That’s the question we need to ask ourselves. Too often I hear people that are talking about salvation and how God loves everyone. It’s all about how God loves them. But here’s what I think, and maybe it’s just me, but I think we should love the Lord because of who He is and not because of what He does for us.

God deserves our love. God is worthy of our devotion, obedience and worship. He does love us, but does He really love us as we are? For what we are? I don’t think it’s quite as “rosy” as all that; after all, he does require us to obey Him. And I don’t think anyone will argue that when God commands us to “be holy for I am holy” that He is asking us to change.

That’s right- let it sink in. God loves us as we are and for who we are, but He wants us to be different if we are to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. C’mon, get real- we are sinners. Throughout the Manual we are told that everyone is a sinner, and that God is holy, so if we want to be with God, and God is holy, we need to be holy. Right? God can’t abide sin, so we need to be sinless to be with Him.

When Yeshua died for us His death atoned for our sin. That is how we get to be with God, but it’s not a ticket to continue sinning. We still have to die to self, to allow the Ruach to guide us, to be different than we were before we were “saved.”

I hear people talking and preaching and ministering to others, talking all about how God loves you and forgives you. What they are selling is Dr. Feelgood; snake-oil salespeople getting people to accept the Messiah as their personal Saviour only because of how He loves us. It’s all about me, me, me and how much I need to be loved and forgiven for who I am and what I do. Me…me…me!

I think this is wrong because it doesn’t allow people desperately looking for someone to love them to realize what their commitment really means. It all sounds so nice, especially to people who have a sense of loneliness and just want to feel loved. I know people who are loved but they are such a pain the the tuchas they reject the love people give them and ostracize themselves. Then they kvetch about how no one cares about them, but when we do call or show we care they only complain and carp about their lives. They are totally self-centered. These are the types that are ripe for the picking when it comes to telling them about how Jesus loves them and they can be saved and be in heaven, etc.

This is not what Yeshua said. In Matthew He says that anyone who wants to follow Him must reject parents and family, they won’t have a place to sleep or a home, and they must pick up their execution stake and follow HIm. He says he is a wedge between mother and daughter, father and son, and that the world will hate those who follow Him.

Doesn’t sound much like a good time, party-hearty atmosphere, does it?

I think of the parable of the sower of seed. Those people who are ministered to and proselytized on the basis that God loves them, no matter what, are the people who hear the Word and accept it but are shallow soil. Why? Because they are accepting salvation for selfish reasons. Their interest isn’t in doing what God wants because He is worthy of our worship and obedience, but only for what God can do for them.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am VERY grateful for God’s forgiveness, and it is a good feeling to know He loves me and that Yeshua did what He did for me. But I am saved because I want to have a relationship with God, I want to fill the emptiness I have felt my whole life not knowing who He is. It’s all about Him, and very little to do with me. That’s the kind of soil where roots grow deep because we are centered on what God is, what God deserves, and I worship Him because He is worthy of my worship.

I don’t want to sound holier than thou. I accepted Yeshua because, as Shaul says, I was jealous. I knew Christian’s who had a peace and joy that God gave them and I wanted in. I did want what salvation offered for selfish reasons, too. But that wasn’t all of it, and it shouldn’t be. As I have matured, spiritually (anyone who knows me can vouch that the only maturity I have is spiritual) I have come to realize that we need to be different, that although God loves us He wants us to be better. And salvation depends not just on asking, but on our doing, too. That’s right- it’s a free gift but it’s like having muscles: if you don’t use them,they atrophy and die. Our salvation is meant to be used to bring others into the Kingdom, to be fishers of men, to be a lamp, a light and to spread the Word by showing people how much God has changed us.

When we read of Yeshua’s ministry, how many times did He preach “God loves you?” It certainly was evident in the way He talked, but didn’t He really preach repent? Didn’t He make it difficult? Didn’t He warn us (by means of how He warned His Talmudim) about how difficult it was going to be  following Him? I don’t recall from the Gospels Yeshua droning on and on about God’s love and forgiveness and how happy you will be and how wonderful that you will get to be in heaven. Yeah, He made mention of it, sure. But it wasn’t what He really stressed, was it?

I want people to know the peace and joy that comes from His indwelling Spirit, the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit of God. It has calmed me and helped me through rough times. I know God loves me and wants me to be saved; He says it over and over throughout the Bible. I would rather be with God than anywhere else,especially throughout Eternity. And because this is so important, I want everyone to know how difficult it is to be godly in a cursed world. I don’t want to “sucker them in” with promises of a rose garden for them to find out it’s really more like a brier patch. It’s tough being holy, it goes against our nature. And if all someone is told about is how wonderful they are, how God loves them, and only how about good they can feel knowing that the Almighty, the Creator of the Universe, the Lord, God, the Big Guy Himself, is only interested in making them feel loved, well…they will fall. They are accepting salvation on a premise that God is here for them, and the truth is we are here for God. If you really mean it when you say it is all about God, then you understand why I am so concerned about not pushing just love, love, love but making sure I tell people that it is tough, tough,tough out there when you accept salvation because you have to be different, you have to change. God loves you but He wants you to be different than you are now.

God is our Father in heaven, He is also our Judge, Jury and Executioner; He is Love, and He is justice and vengeance. When people accept His gift of Grace, it shouldn’t be only because of what God is doing for them. That won’t cut it when the going gets tough. Yeshua told the truth. He didn’t preach how wonderful it would be for everyone, He preached how everyone should be so it can be wonderful. We need to follow Yeshua’s example and preach the truth, both the wonderful and the not-so-wonderful aspects of salvation. We need to be tough and make sure people know what they are in for.

General “Chesty” Puller, a Commandant of the Marine Corps, and 5-time Medal of Honor winner, used to say that the more we sweat in peace, the less we bleed in war. This is war we are in, spiritual war, yes, but war all the same. We need to make soldiers for God and we can’t do that with people who are in it just to be “Hollywood Marines” (that’s a name we gave people who joined the Marine Corps just to look cool in the uniform.) We need to tell about more than just how God loves us because people who are “saved” so that they can feel loved are not going to last, and if we do that to them, if we tell them only the good and don’t prepare them for the worst, we are doing them an injustice and trampling the blood of Messiah into the dust.

I love the Lord because He is deserving of it. Not just for what He has done for me, but because He is deserving of it! If He never gave me a blessing, never did a single nice thing for me, He is still worthy and deserving of my love and obedience because of who He is.

And because of who He is, He does do nice things for me. He showers me with blessings I don’t deserve, and I am eternally grateful. Be grateful, be happy in the knowledge that you are loved, and that the Almighty wants you to be with Him. But don’t forget that we need to steel ourselves for battle, to put on the armor of God, and to focus on what we can do for His glory.

If it isn’t all about Him, it isn’t going to last.

Parashah Va’etchanan

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Today’s Parashah is D’Varim (Deuteronomy) 3:23 to 7:11. Within this part is the repetition of the Ten Commandments. I could do a whole book just on those. I mean, really? Who couldn’t?

But don’t worry, I’m not doing that now.

Actually, what I feel I should talk about is just one line, 5:26. Moses relates how the people said they were too frightened to approach God and told Moshe he should talk with the Lord, then tell them what God said. God thought what the people said was good, and then God added, “Oh, how I wish their hearts would stay like this always, that they would fear me and obey all my mitzvot; so that it would go well with them and their children forever.”

To me this shows God’s love for us, but also the fact that God’s love is “tough” love. God loves us, and that is important to know, because His love is not like human love. However, because it is not like human love He will not coddle or enable us to do wrong. He will not be like the mother or father that thinks their child is a good kid, even when everyone else knows the brat is a stinker.

I hear so many people who become Believers because all they can talk about is God’s forgiveness and His love, and I think they are not getting the whole picture. This line, this one statement, really sums up what God feels for us- He loves us, and He wants nothing more than to give us the best there is, always. He wants us to be happy in every way. Yet, He knows we will screw it up, every time. He feels the righteousness of the people, and at the same time He is saddened by the knowledge of what will come in the future. His love is real love, the kind that will be just and true, totally dependable. So is His punishment.

Think about this: God wants to forgive. He isn’t just willing to forgive, He wants to forgive us. But He won’t if we don’t do as we should. All we need to do is ask for forgiveness, and do Teshuva (turning/atonement) in our hearts. God’s a loving and forgiving God, but He’s not stupid and He knows the heart. Asking for forgiveness and then not showing you mean it is not going to work. His love is stronger than anything we can ever understand, but so is His holiness and righteousness, which demands that He judge fairly. This is why Yacov (James) says that faith without works is dead.

If God forgives those who are not turning from their sins, then why should we try to turn from our sins? God will judge, and if we cannot count on His promise to punish those who are not truly repentant, then we cannot count on His promise of salvation, either.

God is love, but that’s not all He is. He is also our God, He is our Father, and He is our Judge and Executioner. He is the one who will decide.

Don’t just think of His love, but think also of what He demands of us and that He will keep His word about both salvation and punishment. To “Fear the Lord” means to worship Him with awe and respect, and we shouldn’t be afraid of God. However, we should be afraid of His judgement and punishment. His promise of salvation is absolute, and His gift of salvation is irrevocable. That means what He promised He will not take away, but that doesn’t mean we can’t throw it away. That’s why He said what He said in this Parashah- He wants to save us, He wants us to be happy, He does love us beyond our understanding. BUT…He is God and will do what He said, and will punish those who are not faithful. And that’s why He was at once both happy that we were so worshipful, and sad because He knew it wouldn’t last. Staying faithful and doing Teshuva- that’s our side of the promise of salvation: we need to keep that in our hearts, always, and work everyday to be more like Him.

We can’t be totally holy, and we can’t do everything in Torah. That’s why we need Messiah. However, we can become better. We can try and continue to run the good race, as Shaul  (Paul) says. Keep our eyes on the prize and so long as we make progress, even if it’s three steps forward and two steps backwards, we are still one step closer to God. I believe that is what will please God and will demonstrate our love for Him. Yeshua told His Talmudim (students) that if they love Him then they will obey Him. That’s the exact way His Dad feels.

God loves us, He wants the best for us, and He will deliver what He promises. Above all, He will judge.  We absolutely need Yeshua as our defence lawyer when we enter His courtroom. If you don’t have Yeshua as your Messiah, don’t wait another second. Ask God for forgiveness, accept that Yeshua is the Messiah and ask Him to send you the Comforter, God’s Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) to come into you and guide you. Ask for Grace, and do Teshuva in your heart right now. You will then know God’s love, and you will know His truth. And you will also know His joy and peace of spirit.