Tag: gift

Do What is Right and Not What is Expected

Leave a comment

First off, let me say that Irma is no friend of mine!

 

Nice Irma…..Image result for my friend irma'          Nasty Irma….Image result for hurricane irma images

 

We have some small and large branches down all around the house (nothing damaging the house or porch), a few roof shingle tabs that blew off (nothing serious) and the large Bougainvillea that is on the side of the house has nearly every leaf and flower blown off- it looks more like a skeleton of a large bush than a bush.  🙂

Power is back on (lost it sometime around 0200 and it came back around 1015) but there is no water due to the many mains which have broken. I hope the water comes back soon. Overall, the worst is done- just windy and an occasional shower left behind, but I am leaving most of the plywood up in case the next one, Jose, wants to make trouble, also.

Because I have power and today is a day for blogging, let’s not waste the blessing God has provided and get down to today’s message.

I was reading Dear Abby the other day and read a letter from someone saying they receive a present from friends which is always a hand-colored picture from a coloring book. They always get a different hand-colored picture each time there is an event where people exchange gifts. The writer was complaining that this is all they get, and they wanted to know how to tell the givers not to give these anymore.

Abby said to accept the gift graciously, then do whatever they wanted to with it. I agree with the first part of her answer, but the second part disturbed my spirit because it doesn’t address the real issue, which isn’t about the gift at all, but is all about the  attitude of the people receiving the gift.

I am somewhat proud to say that even before I knew the Lord, I still thought that when someone gives a gift they should do so because they wanted to give a gift, and not in expectation of receiving something as nice (or nicer) back. Gift giving should be that- giving. Not expecting a return on investment, not requiring an invitation to their party because you invited them to yours, and certainly not expecting that the gift has to be used or given any special consideration. We should give a gift because we want to give a gift. That’s all there should be to it.

The people in the article didn’t appreciate the meaning behind the hand-colored pictures, and only saw the “thing” they received. They (apparently) expected better, maybe something prettier or more expensive, or more useful. In this, they were exhibiting what the world expects- eye for eye, gift for gift, invitation for invitation. I give only so that I will receive.

This is called Altruism: for instance, in the animal world bats are altruistic in that they will care for and feed the sick among them, knowing that if they become sick they will be fed. In human circles this is expected, but I believe humans should be above that;  we should not be altruistic in our relationships, we should be philanthropic.

Yeshua teaches that if someone asks for a shirt, give your cloak as well, or if they ask to carry their pack for a mile, carry it for two miles ( Matthew 5:40; Luke 6:29-30) because we are to give without expectation of receiving back.

God has made covenants with us, in which there is an exchange, but the most important things God gives us, namely Grace, salvation, and forgiveness, He gives without expectation of receiving anything back.

My answer to the writer of this letter would have been to accept the gift graciously, then take the one they liked best, frame it and put it in a conspicuous place in their house. This way they will constantly look at it, and maybe it will be a reminder that they are blessed to have friends who don’t want to just “give something” but want to give of themselves in the gift. Maybe by recognizing the love and compassion behind the simple gift they will become more compassionate and loving, themselves.

Do what is right, and do it for the right reasons. Never give in expectation of receiving. Even if someone is constantly unappreciative and never gives you anything, don’t refuse to give to them. When it comes to giving, we should follow the pattern of the Golden Rule: Gift unto others what you would like to receive yourself.

Parashah Ekev (It Shall Come to Pass) Deuteronomy 7:12 – 11:25

Leave a comment

Throughout this book, the last book of the Torah, we hear Moshe (Moses) constantly remind the people about all the good that God has done for them, and constantly warn them against turning away from God. Over and over he reminds them of the mighty acts performed by God, of how God has gone before them in battle and he reinforces the fact that God will continue to go before them, as long as they keep their side of the covenant.

He also chastises them regarding how rebellious they have been; he reminds them of all the places where they rebelled, and how God punished them as a result of their stiff-necked, rebellious attitudes. And Moses doesn’t fail to lay a guilt trip on them, either, retelling how he suffered on account of them, fasted for 40 days (twice!) so that God would not destroy them, and so forth.

We find also the foundation for many of the messages that the Prophets gave and of what Yeshua taught. For instance, in the last parashah we were given the 10 Commandments, the V’Ahavtah, and the Shema. In this parashah, Deuteronomy 10:12-13 must be the basis for Micah 6:8-9:

And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to to serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul; to keep for thy good the commandments of the Lord, and His statues, which I command thee this day? 

Micah 6:8-9: He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Over and over, again and again, Moses tells the people not to fear or look to their own strength for success. They are not to forget, when they are relaxed, happy and blessed, that it is because God provided all this for them that they are so well off. Moses also tells them, in no uncertain way, the reason that God is going ahead of Israel and destroying the nations currently living in the land is because those people have polluted the land with their sinfulness. Israel is not being given the land because they deserve it- they are being used to rid the land of the pestilence that is in it. And, after having done so, Moses tells them that if they fall into the same pattern of sinfulness and pollute the land, that they, also, will be thrown out of it.

How often do we, today, forget to credit God as the provider of our goodness? I hear people more than willing to blame God for their problems, for illness and financial ruin: “Why me, God? What have I done?” People are fast to blame the Lord for their problems, and very, VERY slow to accept their responsibility for what they are going through. Yet, when things are going well and they have more than they need, do they praise God? Do they thank the Lord for His provision? Do they remember what it was like and appreciate all that God has done to bring them to where they are now?

I am afraid that it doesn’t always seem that way. We are fast to accept responsibility for our success, and fast to blame God for our failures. The fact is, it is almost always the other way around: we are the reason for our failures and God is the cause of our success.

I am often blessed to teach on Shabbat, and when I get compliments from people I am quick (and this is NOT false modesty) to say if it was that good, then it wasn’t from me. When I do something really well, I give the credit to God for the leading of His Ruach (Spirit) and the gifts He gave me; when I totally screw something up, that’s when I can take full credit.

We need to apply every single warning that Moses gave to the Israelites to our own lives. We need to be careful not to pollute what God has given us by our sins, and not to allow things in our life to separate us from God . What would those things be? They could be sports, money, Face Book, Porn, video games…anything that brings you to a place where you are focused on yourself and not on God. Now, don’t get me wrong- I am not saying that being a baseball fan or managing your finances is sinful, but when it becomes a wedge between you and your worship, then you have a problem. As an example, watching baseball is not a problem, but watching it at the expense of being a husband and father, well, that is not right. If you begin to idolize the baseball players and begin gambling, then you have a problem. If you are so busy trying to attain wealth by working yourself to a frazzle, ignoring family and friends, then you have a problem. If you are spending half your life on Face Book or Twitter, you need to shut the computer off and talk to someone face-to-face.

Do you see my point? We should not be so intent and focused on something that it becomes a barrier to our relationships with God, family and friends. Brothers and Sisters, please believe me when I say that IM’ing people on Face Book or sending emails is not really how we should communicate.

And we should not ever think that the success we have in life is due to our own power. I have a gift for teaching, which has been confirmed by others: and it is not something I gave myself, it is from God. When I use it to glorify and honor Him, I am using it correctly. When I use it for my own purposes, to glorify myself, I am misusing it and that will result in failure.

If you ever find yourself wondering why something you do well is not working, try to remember the last time you thanked God for His provision and gifts, and ask yourself if you have been using your talents to glorify God. I am willing to bet you will then find the answer to why things aren’t working.

 

 

Give the Gift of Giving

Leave a comment

Messiah did so much for us, didn’t He? He exchanged His royal robe of divinity to put on a stinking mantle of flesh; He left the idyllic heavens to come to a cursed earth; He lived a life of trouble (Isaiah 53) and knew all the strife, emotional pain and physical wants of a human being; and, finally, He submitted to indescribable pain and torture just to be nailed to a tree. All of that in order that we unworthy sinners may have a chance to escape eternal damnation, which we all deserve, anyway.

Yeshua (Jesus) is certainly one man who knew all about giving to others, because He did all that with no expectation of getting anything back. He gave all He had and it brings Him great joy to see us receive it.

We are told in Acts 20:35 that Yeshua said it is better to give than to receive, but when we receive something do we do so in a way that blesses the giver? What I mean is this: using myself as an example, I used to feel very guilty and obligated when anyone would do something nice for me, or give me something. That is a worldly viewpoint- give and then expect to get back. When we invite someone to a party, do we do so because we enjoy their company or because we expect they will invite us to their next party? When we give a gift at a party to the host (birthday, baby shower, etc.) do we do so with the expectation that they will give something back to us at our next event?

If so, then we are not giving, we are investing. We are spending our money and hoping to receive back something worth as much or more. How many times have you heard people complain that they give nice things to someone but get less than what they gave back when it’s their turn to receive? Hopefully you haven’t, which means you hang out with the right crowd, but I know there are people like that out there.

Yeshua tells us that when we are asked for something we should give, freely and without expectation of reward or return (Matthew 5:40-42):

And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

When I give something to someone, such as treat them to dinner, or give them a gift, I do so without wanting anything in return. That said, I do expect a nice “Thank you”, of course, but even if that is not given, it doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to give because I wanted to give. And when I give something, I do not want the recipient to feel obligated to return the favor. I want them to receive as happily as I give.

That is the giving the gift of giving- to let someone give to you freely and wholeheartedly without worrying that you will feel obligated by receiving it.

Yeshua gave all, we give (most of the time) what we can, and sometimes we give a lot (if you have kids you know what I mean), and when we do so without any expectation of return and without wanting anything back, giving only to please the receiver of our gift, then we are giving correctly.

Subsequently, if you feel really good inside when you give to someone, let the person who gives to you feel the same way. When you are given a gift, don’t refuse it, don’t say, “Oh- you shouldn’t have!” or indicate in any way that you feel obligated to return the favor or are concerned by receiving the gift. Accept it with great joy (even if it is one that you can’t bear to own) and thank the person.

You may ask me, “Steve- I understand what you are saying but what if the person giving me the gift expects something in return, like most people do?” Well, my answer is give them something, if you want to because you want to give it. Do not give them something as an obligation or because they expect something back- if they don’t give for ‘giving’s sake’ then that is their problem. Those who give to receive will learn fast enough that you are a giver without expectation of return, and a receiver without obligation to give something back.

I have found most of the time when you give to people without expectation of return, they sense it; it all depends on your attitude. I will tell people I treat or to whom I give a nice gift to please do not feel any obligation to return the favor because my joy comes from seeing them enjoying the gift.

This is what the bible says:

Proverbs 11:24-27- One person is generous and yet grows more wealthy, but another withholds more than he should and comes to poverty. A generous person will be enriched, and the one who provides water for others will himself be satisfied

Proverbs 23:6-8- Do not eat the food of a stingy person, do not crave his delicacies; for he is like someone calculating the cost in his mind. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you; you will vomit up the little bit you have eaten, and will have wasted your pleasant words.

2 Corinthians 9:7-10- You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.

Therefore, when you receive something from someone, whether its a gift, money, time, possession, love, whatever it is: do so without concern about returning it or feeling obligated. Appreciate their giving and bless them in allowing them to feel the wonderful joy of giving.

If you receive happily and thankfully, you will have given them the gift of giving.

 

Humor is God’s Gift, Too

Leave a comment

Although it isn’t specified anywhere in the Bible that I can recall seeing, humor is a gift from God, just as much as teaching, prophecy, compassion, patience, etc. are all gifts from God. 

It just has to be! I mean, look at us- we are so incompetent and foolish we should be in a deep funk every moment of our lives, yet because we can laugh at ourselves our frustration of being who we are is less damaging to our emotions and psyche.

We are told about many people, from Abraham to Moses, to Isaiah, to John, Shaul (Paul) and others. These people were holy, and we read of their emotions often. Yet we don’t read about them laughing or telling jokes or just having a good time. Even when we read about Yeshua (Jesus) there is no specific reference to His having a good time, yet we know He attended weddings. So, while at a wedding (which in those days was a one week celebration with food, dance, song and drink), do you really think Jesus just sat in the corner, like a wallflower, spewing out parables while everyone else was having a good time? 

I don’t think so! 

I believe He was dancing and singing and laughing, and enjoying Himself along with everyone else. 

Again, there isn’t anything in the writings of the Apostles that specifically said Yeshua laughed, or sang, or danced. We are told that He cried (John 11:35) and that He showed frustration when He asked how long He would have to put up with people who just didn’t get the message (Matthew 17:17′ Mark 9:19), so if Yeshua was able to be sad and to be frustrated (somewhat), and we know that because He had taken on human form He was human, then it just makes sense that He must have also had all the other emotions that go with being human. Right?

A small caveat here, one that is my personal opinion: when we are dealing with God, we can’t trust the expression or thought that something must “make sense” because what is sensible to a human being has nothing at all to do with what is sensible to God. We are barely able to see past our noses, and God can see all the way to the end of eternity, so just because it makes “sense” that Yeshua had to have all the emotions humans do, we can’t say that is an absolute fact. 

Historically, He has been painted as somber and melancholy because (I think) we expect that being “holy” means being, well…boring. If I am holy, I don’t laugh (which sometimes indicates a lack of seriousness), and if I am holy I don’t have fun (which indicates I am just like everyone else), and if I am holy all I ever do is decry the sinfulness of the world and show people that they need to be a holy, boring, stick-in-the-mud wet blanket, like I am. 

I certainly hope not! 

I think that humor is one of the greatest gifts God has given us- it should be included in Ephesians 6 as part of the Armor of God. I believe, and have had it confirmed, that God has given me His gift of humor, and I try to use it to make people happy, or (at least) less sad.  I don’t always use this gift well, but I am now much more “appropriate” with it than I was before I was saved.

Humor can turn around anger, it can bring forth good feelings, it can bring light into a dark place, and it can also be used to make people realize how foolishly they are acting without making them mad.

When I was in Sales, I used humor as a sales tactic because I learned that people buy from people; if you can make someone laugh, they can’t help but like you. That bonding is what gave me an advantage when we had to close the sale.

There are basically two types of people: those who make jokes, and those who laugh at them. Each one has a sense of humor, and the funniest times I have ever seen are when two jokers get together because those who make jokes love to laugh at other’s jokes (and steal them, too.) Whether through telling a joke, or making a humorous statement, or providing a humorous narrative, use your God-given sense of humor to make people happy. If you are a missionary, use humor to bond with people and break down their resistance to hear about God; if you teach a congregation, use humor to help them remember the message; if you are counseling someone, use humor (carefully) to reduce their pain and help them see the funny side of their troubles.

Almost every great humorist that ever lived went through a lot of T’souris (troubles) in his or her life, which is where the humor comes from. 

Humor is an emotional balm that God has given us to help heal our painful existence in a fallen and cursed world, so when you are feeling down, take two jokes and throw a pie in someone’s face in the morning.  

Too selfish to receive

Leave a comment

‘Tis the season for giving. In Acts (20:35) we are told that Yeshua said it is better to give than to receive, and we also are told in 2 Corinthians (9:6-7) that God loves a cheerful giver. So, it is pretty clear that we should give generously and cheerfully when we give to others.

Being a generous giver means that we give for the love of giving, and for the hope that what we give will help, edify and please the receiver.

The world, however, is not a generous giver- the world teaches us that what we give should be considered as a sampling of what the other person should, sooner or later, give us back.  Maybe that’s why so many give something they want for themselves becasue they hope the receiver will “get the hint”?

On the other hand, that doesn’t explain why fruit cakes get passed around like a hot potato.

What the world teaches us about giving is that when we receive something we need to make sure we give back something of equal or better value. The world teaches us to receive a gift wrapped with a sense of obligation. It is never “cheerful” if you give something with the expectation that you will receive something back. That is not giving- that is called “investing”. You invest some money to get more money back, and you invest some time to receive a benefit greater than the value of the time you invested. However, it is wrong to give a gift in order to receive something similar or better at some later date. If you do, then you are not a cheerful giver: what you are is a sinful, selfish and manipulative louse.

“Hey!! Ease up, Steve!”

Sorry if you feel a little offended, but like it or not, that’s the truth; if it hits home then you need to think about what Yeshua said regarding giving. He should know. After all, He gave His life willingly so that you could have a chance to live with God, eternally. He doesn’t expect you to give your life to Him in exchange out of obligation, but He hopes you do. And not out of obligation, but out of thankfulness and as an opportunity to allow what He did to become useful in your life. He wants you to accept His sacrificice, His gift to you, for your sake and not for His.

Here’s the really hard part for humans, who (as I say above) have been taught by the world that when you receive something you owe something back to the giver: it is very hard for us to receive as generously as we give.

When you receive a gift that you think is disproportionate to your gift, do you feel “guilty”? Do you feel that you did not perform as you should have? Even if the gift you gave is appropriate, useful and appreciated?  If you feel this way, then you are too worried about the world’s view and not about God’s view. You need to “give” the other person gifting you the true joy of giving. You need to “give” the other person the joy that you feel when you give with no expectation of return. You need to accept the gift with the same joy you feel when you give a gift, and not feel any obligation to return anything.

If the other person is upset that you didn’t give proportionate to their gift, or that you didn’t bring them anything at all, then that’s their problem. And if you have been giving gifts to a friend and their children at holiday times and they always have an excuse for not giving you anything, then give them one more gift: give them the guilt-free gift of telling them you don’t give to receive, you give to give and that the only one you want to impress is God by cheerfully sharing the blessings He has given to you with those you care for.

God wants us to share that which He has provided for us. If you have more than someone else has, give them some of what you have that they can use. Give it freely, give it cheerfully, and give it without expectation of receipt. If you give to others without any desire to receive back, you will receive something- you will receive blessings from the Lord.

And let me tell you something- what the Lord will bless you with won’t be found at Macy’s, can’t be ordered from E-Bay, and will never be available on Amazon.  What the Lord will bless you with will be peace of spirit, joy of giving, love of your fellow-man (and woman), and rewards in heaven.

That’s a lot better than free shipping!