Obviously… you say nothing.

You provide a presence that is caring, compassionate, and silent. Think of when you are in God’s presence- do you hear a lot of noise? Maybe there is worship music in the background, maybe there is someone singing, or maybe (as I find it most effective) you are under your Tallit, wrapped around your head as if in a cocoon of worship, and all the background noise is just a whisper to you as you feel God’s warmth, His love, His overwhelming joy being absorbed into your very soul.

There is no way any of us can give that wonderful, totally peaceful experience, but we can take a hint from the Lord and be that quiet presence that soothes and helps. When someone is in pain, either physically or emotionally, people think they should say something. We watch too much TV and too many movies, where someone says something that is a vitally pointed remark, one that empowers and helps the poor wretch to come back to reality, or see the truth; commercial break , and then back to the show where now everyone is happy.

That’s all make-believe! There are many people reviewing the words used, creating the emotional situation, as well as the circumstances- it is all staged, all planned, all fake! TV and movies are not real life.

In real life we have to deal with the idiots who hurt others and don’t care- no amount of talking will make them see the light, and on TV after the commercial it is years later while in real life it is just the very next second- nothing has changed, and we have to continue to suffer with these dolts and bullies just as before we said anything. And the people who we try to help still hurt. Sometimes they never get over it, sometimes they never want to get over it, and more often than not nothing we do will make a difference.

And you can’t change the channel, either!

So what do you do? You stay silent. Yeshua tells us not to throw pearls before swine and not to continue to kick against the goads. I think we owe it to people to try to help with our experience and understanding, but not to nag and not to feel upset or chided when they refuse to listen. Everyone has free will, and if God can teach us anything about treating others, it is to allow them to make their own choices and respect their right to do so enough where we aren’t pridefully insulted if they don’t do what we think is best.

I write email responses that I usually delete because I have learned (and believe me- it took a long time and a lot of chewing out’s before I finally got the message) that when I am not sure what to say, I should say nothing.  And also that when I know exactly what I want to say, it is usually best if I still say nothing.

The most powerful feeling and experience I have ever had is when I am quietly in the presence of God. I cannot give that feeling to anyone because, well, I’m not God. Duh!! But I can “be there” for someone, I can gently hold their hand, put my arm around them, or just sit, quietly, next to them without saying or doing anything other than being there. They will feel my presence, and they will be able to find some small comfort in that.

That’s the best we can do, and more often than not, I think it’s all we should do.

Nothing else to say.