Are we praying respectfully?

June 1, 2016 Leave a comment

Shaul (Paul) says that we should pray constantly. I talk to God a lot. I have gotten into the habit of praying to God in the morning, while I am driving to work. I used to have a long drive, so there was plenty of prayer time. Now I have the shortest commute to work since I was in the service and lived across the street, literally, from the base. But I still can pray while driving, and during the day, and at night, and every time I have a close call, or whenever I feel upset, or…well, you get the idea.

But is that respectful? I mean, is it respectful enough for the Lord of lords and King of kings?

I confess my prayers are not. I feel bad admitting to this, but I often will start in with a prayer and find myself wandering off in thought, leaving God “on hold” while I tangentially go off onto some other subject.

For instance, I will always pray that my children reconcile to me and to God, and that we can be mishpocha (family) again, centered on God. Then I think of how I can do something to make that happen, then I go off on explaining to them why I had to leave that marriage, then before I know it I am at work and the prayer time has devolved into “me” time.

I left God on hold while answering another call. That’s not very respectful.

I hate it when I do that, and I do that a lot. I mean, a whole lotsa times!

I believe that God is so compassionate and understanding that He is not insulted, but He is still God. He deserves better than that and I have to get better at being more respectful in my prayers.

Yeshua was asked by His Talmudim (students, or Disciples) how they should pray, and He told them how- read Matthew 6:9-16. That isn’t just a prayer, it is the template for all prayer.

We start by recognizing who and what God is; only after giving God the glory and honor He deserves can we then ask for ourselves. And when we ask for ourselves, we ask for only what we need to get by that day. This represents our faith and trust in God to always provide what we need. We shouldn’t ask for a week’s worth of manna because the amount He gives us is enough. It’s enough for today, and we should know and believe He will do the same, tomorrow.

Next we ask for forgiveness of our sins, which we should do before we intercede for anyone else. Just as the Cohen HaGadol (High Priest) made atonement for himself before he asked for forgiveness of the people, we should come to God for forgiveness, through Yeshua, so that when we ask God to help others we are coming before Him cleansed and pure.

Then we stick our necks out and literally put our salvation where our mouth is: we tell God that He should forgive us as we forgive others. This is also what Yeshua warns us about in verses 6:14-15. As we forgive, we will be forgiven. As we judge, we shall be judged. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, limb for limb. If we are not willing to forgive on Earth, God will not forgive us in heaven, and this is something that we should remind ourselves of every time we ask for forgiveness. That’s why not only does Yeshua tell us to incorporate it in every prayer, but He emphasized that point after He finished telling them how to pray. Believe it- if you cannot forgive, if you refuse to forgive, then you are not truly saved. You haven’t done T’Shuvah (turn from sin) , you haven’t allowed the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) into your heart, you haven’t held up your end of the bargain!

Salvation is free for the asking, but it is not guaranteed. That’s right- all who call on the name of the Lord will be saved: but getting salvation is not keeping salvation.

If you don’t show that you have truly turned from your sins, then you can speak the words all you like- it won’t help. God isn’t stupid, and if you don’t show in your actions, especially in your forgiveness of others, that you have turned from sin and are being obedient to God, then you haven’t really changed. Just speaking the words is not enough- you can’t talk your way into heaven- you have to bring an offering before the Lord.

God tells us a couple of times that we should not come before Him empty handed (look it up- you can find it easily in Exodus and Deuteronomy regarding the Festival of Unleavened Bread.) I am taking this past the literal meaning (the P’shat) and making a small Drash on it: when we come to God here on earth we should bring to Him something, such as unleavened bread, a sacrifice, first fruits- something that He has provided for us that we bring back the very best we have, as a thank offering to Him. The best, the very best thing we can offer to God is obedience. Therefore, since we can’t bring bread or lambs or fruit of the vine to Him when we come before Him at Judgement Day, we bring the fruit of our obedience. We bring before the Lord our good works, we bring our personal and financial sacrifices that we made in His service, we bring to God the forgiveness we have shown to others while we were alive. We bring to God what He wants- we bring the proof of our T’Shuvah.

If you don’t have something to bring before God when that time comes, don’t expect to get past the gates. At least, not the pearly ones.

We also ask God to protect us from temptation.

Finally, our prayers end where they started- recognizing the awesomeness of God.

I have been praying to God for nearly (or should I say, only) two decades- I was a late starter. And in that time I have digressed more often during my prayer than I care to admit to, but I confess it. I have to own my sin before I can give it away to God.

I constantly try to pray more respectfully, and I constantly end up asking God to forgive me when I digress. Sometimes, when I know my brain is off on a holiday, I will just thank God for everything and leave it at that, before I go off on a tangent.

Prayer is necessary, prayer should be constant, and constantly presented to God in a respectful manner.

who’s the real victim?

May 25, 2016 Leave a comment

Did you see in the news lately that Bill Cosby’s (upcoming) trial has already started action to initiate new laws that will extend the Statute of Limitations for sexual abuse cases?

First of all, let me state, unequivocally, that sexual abuse is wrong and that those who practice it should be punished.

Let me also state, just as unequivocally, that we are all responsible to immediately report wrong-doing, and that memories do not become more accurate as we age; in truth, they do just the opposite. How many of us know someone who has related a life-event over the years that has become more exciting and less accurate as time goes by? The person relating the event believes it is true, but for those of us listening, we know that the story has changed, over and over.

People who have done wrong should be punished, true- but what about forgiveness? I often state that sin will always have consequences in this existence, but it is the spiritual, the eternal existence that counts. Forgiveness from God (through Yeshua, the Messiah) is what we need, and forgiveness of a sin by the one who has been wronged, in this physical existence, is what the person who was hurt needs, now. The hurt never goes away without forgiveness.

God will forgive us as we forgive others, meaning- we get what we give. Check out Matthew 6:14-15.

I believe that those who have been sexually abused have an obligation to themselves and to others to report it then and there! Yes, it is embarrassing. Yes, it is painful. Yes, it is something we would rather not be associated with and want to forget. But that doesn’t change the fact that the person doing it to you will do it to someone else. If you don’t have enough self-respect and strength to report abuse for your sake, then do it to protect others. Don’t wait until it’s 20 or 30 years later, when both you and the other person might be totally different people, and who knows how many others may have been caused to suffer.

The bible says that if a sinner turns from his or her sin, then they will be forgiven. And if a righteous person becomes a sinner, they will die the second death. Even if a life-long sinner genuinely does T’shuvah (turn from sin) on their death bed, that person will be forgiven.

Crimes against others, especially sexual crimes, can have long-lasting effects. That is mostly, from what I have read and seen, because the victim doesn’t ever do anything about it.

When I was a teenager, I worked the night to morning shift at a 24 hour restaurant (Jack in the Box). One night a young man, harmless looking, came in and sweet-talked us into helping him with his Master’s program (or some such story) regarding rewards and punishments. It meant we went into the attic and answered questions, with bare-butt paddling as the negative reinforcement. All three of us went up to the attic, one at a time and yes- I allowed him to bare-butt paddle me. I was just an innocent, Long Island bred, white, middle-class protected child. The others said they didn’t allow it, but I don’t believe them. Afterwards, I knew it was wrong, told my parents and we filed a police report. As I recall, the police did know the person but I never found out what happened.

Because I did the right thing, I feel no regret or embarrassment- the thing to remember about those that prey on others is that they are really, really good at it, and we are, as a species, really, really stupid. When we accept that we are a trusting and gullible people, being a victim isn’t as traumatic.

If Bill Cosby is guilty, he will be punished, but this entire incident is a shame because one of the most beloved celebrities of our day is ruined, no matter what the outcome. And all the fond memories of his past activities are also ruined. I feel a personal loss because of this, don’t you? If he did these things, he deserves punishment, but 30 years later? At some point, when do we learn to let go and move on?

That’s the real issue, isn’t it? Forgiving and moving on. We like to be the victim, we prefer to accept the pity that the world gives to victims instead of realizing that we should be chastised for being a coward and unconcerned about the safety of others by refusing to come forward at the time it happens.

I believe the victim should be held just as responsible to report the abuse as the abuser should be held responsible for abusing the victim. And if that means telling them that it is too late now, too much time has gone by, then so be it!

The Statute of Limitations should be a reasonable time after the incident; the facts should be reported immediately while they are still accurately remembered. Extending the law that has been on the books for a long time already just because of one case is an over-reaction. If the accused had been some Joe Blow from Nowheresville, no one would care. But just because it is a well-known celebrity, some politician who wants to get his or her name on a law is making a big deal out of it.

Bill Cosby has become the victim now- not of sexual abuse, but of self-empowering and power-hungry politicians.

We don’t want someone to “get away” with doing wrong. Well, sure- that’s how we should feel. That’s why God invented punishment. Duh! And the guilty will be punished- if not here on earth, then when they face the Lord on the Day of Judgment.

But what if they atone and ask forgiveness? Do we then punish them? Doesn’t Yeshua say to forgive not 7 times, but 70 times 7 times? If someone does something wrong on earth, which means some innocent person will suffer for it (the innocent always do), then that person should be punished. It is right, it is morally the thing to do, it is biblical.

I think the answer, at least for me, is to forgive but not totally forget. In other words, forgive someone who asks to be forgiven (actually, forgive them even if they don’t ask- what they do or don’t do isn’t what God is concerned with: God is concerned with what you do when you have been sinned against), render fair and proper punishment, then accept them back. BUT- you don’t have to trust them. Not until they have earned it.

And report wrong-doing. Even if you are embarrassed, even if the memory is painful- do it for yourself, do it to protect others, do it because it is not just the right thing to do but what God commands you to do (Leviticus 5:1):

If you are called to testify about something you have seen or that you know about, it is sinful to refuse to testify, and you will be punished for your sin.

Not reporting evil is allowing it to continue, and you are just as guilty as the person doing the evil. We MUST prevent evil by reporting it. Look to your history, look to the Nazi’s, look back further to Japan attacking China, look back further to slavery in the New World, look back further to…well, you get the point. What we fail to fight, we empower to continue.

Don’t let evil continue- report evil wherever and whenever you see it, even if it is a personally painful and embarrassing thing. If you let it alone, it will never go away.

Don’t Ask To Be Forgiven If You Are Planning On Doing It Again

January 8, 2015 Leave a comment

I was praying yesterday and, as usual, asked for forgiveness for sins I have committed. I like to first ask to be forgiven my sins, then I raise up those I love to be forgiven for what they do, especially Alex and Bryce, my children who have rejected me and don’t even know the Lord. I do it in this order because in the Torah the Cohen HaGadol (Head Priest) had to be cleansed first before he could act as intercessor for the people, so I ask to be cleansed before I intercede for those I pray for.

That’s when it hit me…I had done something that morning that is, by technical standards, a sinful act. It is not terrible; it’s one of those “minor” sins (if you will be kind enough to accept that term, even though we all know any sin is a sin) that I find myself doing on occasion because, well, I like it. As I was going to ask for forgiveness, the realization that I intend to do this again made me feel that I was wrong to ask God to forgive me. To ask forgiveness for something that I do not want to stop doing, something for which I have not done T’Shuvah, seems wrong to me. It is like throwing the fleece before God. I mean, really…forgive me for this but I am going to do it again, so forgive me then, too. Is that right? Is it fair to ask God to forgive me for purposefully rejecting His instructions, especially when I fully intend to do it again?

I decided I was wrong on two counts- wrong for doing something that is not Godly and correct in His eyes, and even more wrong for asking Him to forgive me when I don’t intend to stop doing it.

I know, I know… now you all think I am less than what you hoped for. I have sinned, I sin and I will continue to sin (I sound like Caesar saying, “Veni, vidi, vici”) and that is why I think it is wrong of me to ask God to forgive me for this thing. I’m not perfect. I am getting better, but still, I am not perfect. I’m not bragging about it, and I am not beating myself up over it. I would like to be able to overcome this one little thing, but I haven’t, and that’s probably because I don’t want to stop.

After I felt that I shouldn’t ask forgiveness, I asked God to show me a sign (I was on a roll for doing wrong, wasn’t I?) The sign I asked for was to demonstrate His forgiveness by taking away all desire to do the thing I won’t ask forgiveness for. In other words, I feel unjustified to ask forgiveness for doing something I know I will purposefully do again, so I asked Him to show His forgiveness by taking away the desire to do this. Don’t just forgive me, but change me so I won’t need to ask forgiveness for this again. Rewire my brain to no longer be satisfied by this act, to no longer feel the need for the “worldly” satisfaction derived from this act.

Here’s the difference: I will ask for forgiveness for doing things I shouldn’t do and that I don’t want to do; for instance, using bad language, having mean thoughts, for being the sarcastic, cynical and attitudinal New Yorker I am at heart. I won’t ask forgiveness for doing the things I shouldn’t do that I still want to do. Why? Because if I still want to do them I haven’t turned, I haven’t given them up, I haven’t chosen God’s way over my way. I don’t feel right in asking for forgiveness for doing something which I choose to not stop doing. It’s not fair to God, and I feel like it is stomping the blood of Messiah into the dirt. He suffered and died so that I can be forgiven, and if I ask for His blood covering for something that I choose to keep on doing, well, to me that would be more of a sin than the thing I actually am doing.

What do you think? If we choose, willingly and willfully, to perform an act which we know is sinful, whether it be eating ham, cursing out the neighbor, or as terrible as having an affair, and we know we will continue to do that, are we justified in asking for forgiveness? More than that, if we choose to continue to do it, will we be forgiven if we ask for it? Will God forgive something that we are NOT sincerely sorry about?

Yeshua said that if your brother asks to be forgiven, you should forgive him, not 7 times but 70 times 7 times. However, I have always thought the underlying assumption is that the brother asking for forgiveness is sorry for the sin he committed. If he isn’t sorry, if he isn’t truly doing T’Shuvah, then should/will he be forgiven?

There’s the parable that follows this about the servant who was forgiven a debt and refused to forgive the debt owed to him. For his unforgiveness his own debt was recalled against him. My interpretation of this parable is that the servant was sinfully selfish, in that (1) he borrowed a large sum he couldn’t pay back and (2) did not forgive a small debt that was owed to him. He did not do T’Shuvah from his sin, as demonstrated by his actions. And, not being repentant, his sin was laid back upon him. He wasn’t forgiven because he didn’t want to repent of his sin.

I will not ask forgiveness for things that I know I shouldn’t be doing but choose to continue to do, whatever they are. I will, however, ask God to help me do T’Shuvah, to give faith to my faithlessness, to strengthen me through the Ruach to not just overcome sin, but to hate it to the point where sinning is painful to me. Any sin. And if I ever reach that point, then and only then can I justly ask for forgiveness for a sin I keep committing.

I like to say that before I was saved I was a sinner who rationalized my sins, and now I am a sinner who regrets my sins. To all of you, and before God, here and now I confess: there are some sins I still choose to do.

The bottom line is we will be forgiven anything, over and over, when we are truly repentant, when we come before God with a broken spirit and a contrite heart, and when we choose to stop doing what it is we are doing. When I reach the point that Shaul reached, confessing he was a wretch because he did the things he didn’t want to do, and did not do the things he wanted to do, then and only then will I be able to ask forgiveness for anything and everything I do wrong.

I have a rather long and arduous journey ahead of me. What about you?