Tag: twitter

Love is a Muscle

Leave a comment

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lou Ferrigno. Steve Reeves (you have to be in my age group to remember him.)

When we think of those names we think of one thing- muscles! Big, well-developed muscles.

They got those muscles through hard work, dedication and sacrifice. And after all that work, after all that strenuous activity, hours upon hours in the gym, proper diet, and loss of personal time with friends and family, if they don’t keep at it, those muscles get weak and flabby.

No, muscle doesn’t turn into fat- totally different things, but they do get flabby and weaken. Muscles need to be worked constantly to remain strong.

We all know that the heart is a muscle, but love is only a feeling right? Is it? Most people would say that love is an emotional thing, not a physical thing; however, if you have ever been in love you know that it can affect you physically.

I submit that love is a muscle. You know that old saying, don’t you? The one that goes:

“If it looks like a duck, and it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.”

Love has a physical effect, love is something we feel and experience; when we are unloved, it hurts and when we are loved, it is better than the best adrenalin or endorphin high any athlete can experience. Love acts like a muscle, it works like a muscle, it hurts like a muscle, and it grows like a muscle. Sounds to me like it’s a muscle.

Love needs to be nurtured and it needs to be constantly worked at. It takes sacrifice, it takes hard work, it takes humility, it takes compassion. It takes as much work as any physical effort you would make to build any other muscle in your body.

And like the muscles you get when you work out steadily, you need to keep at it to maintain what you have gotten. I am no muscle-man by any stretch of the imagination (although I do have a pretty nice set of guns for an old fart) and I work twice as hard at just maintaining what I have as I ever did building it up. I also work just as hard, if not harder, to maintain the love I feel for Donna (my wife) and my family and friends. I don’t do social media because I believe that is more like broadcasting than committed communication. I call and email people one-to-one to demonstrate that I am willing to take the time to be with them, and them alone.

Today everything is cocooned- yes, FaceBook, Twitter, etc. have made socializing easier, but is it the right kind of socializing? Is it really intimate? Is it really one-on-one? Does it take effort? These technological forms of communication have taken something very valuable out of communication- it has taken away the love. It has taken away the intimacy of talking to someone and replaced it with the cold, unemotional and unattached simplicity of just posting something on a bulletin board for any and all to see. In other words, it takes no effort and building love takes effort.

Love needs to be personal. How can it not be? Love for one’s fellow man (or woman), love of art, love of nature- these are all good, but impersonal.

There are so many passages in the Bible about love I won’t even put one here, except the most important one- Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might.

See? Didn’t I tell you that love is a muscle? God tells us to love Him with all our might and you need muscles to be strong.

The message today is really simple- we are commanded to love God and to love each other- this takes a lot to do. We are, by nature, self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish. We are sinful and hedonistic. We can overcome our Yetzer Hara (Evil Inclinations) with the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) leading us if we follow what it says, and if we exercise our love.

I am not one to talk. I am saying do as I say (actually, do as He says) and not as I do. I try to do what pleases God and fail many times. And when I do something good, I revert back. If backsliding was an Olympic sport I would hold many gold medals. But I keep trying, and that is what we all need to do. To run the good race, to keep our eyes on the prize, to build muscles of love and not let them get flabby.

The V’ahavta prayer (Deuteronomy 6:5-9) tells us to love God, and remember His commandments, to speak of them when we arise and when we sleep. I do. I also make sure that when I arise I tell my wife, Donna, that I love her. And when we go to sleep, I tell her that I love her. And I tell her that I love her as often as the feeling hits during the day (and it hits a lot.) I also remember to tell my sisters Wendy and Gayle that I love them. I would tell my children, Alexandra and Bryce, that I love them (if they would talk to me.) I do this not just because I do love them, but it is also how I exercise my love. It’s how I keep it strong.

You really want to build up a sweat exercising your love? Tell your spouse how much you love them next time you are in the middle of an argument! Yes, right there in between the “You always” and the “Why don’t you ever”  statements say, “You know, despite all this I love you and I am so thankful we are married. Even though I am pissed right now, I am still very much in love with you and never want to be with anyone else. Ever.”

Then go back to arguing… if you can.

Love is really strong when you exercise it regularly, and it has the strength to knock out anger and hatred in one punch. Wouldn’t you like to be that strong?

 

 

Starting with nothing

Leave a comment

I am sitting here, waiting for an inspiration. I actually glanced through the newspaper- same old, same old. Nothing jumps out at me, nothing that spurs my creative juices and uplifts (or upsets) my spirit, giving me a thought or a divine inspiration with which to blog about this morning.

We have a friend from Philadelphia, who we met while being Docents together at the Zoo there, staying with us this weekend. My older sister, Wendy, has visited us often, but no one else has come down here. We have even had family as close as an hour or less away vacationing at Disney or other Florida vacation spots and, believe it or not, they never even called Donna to ask if they could meet.

There’s a message for us! Friendship, whether familial or social, is something that needs to be worked at. It is something that needs to be watered with sacrifice (I let Jeanette do my Cryptoquip in the paper this morning) and fed with constant connections.

And I don’t mean Facebook or Twitter. Those posts and notifications are essentially one-way communications. Think about it- it really is all about me me me: My opinion, where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going,  copy and share, like this page, me me me me me!!

Friendship, true friendship, true family, is not about me, it’s about you. It’s about the other person, it’s about taking time from your schedule not to tell them what you are doing or where you are going, but to ask them what they are doing, where are they going, how do they feel? Friendship is sharing, and that means being a friend to someone who needs to share their feelings, and they should be there to let you share yours.

I know people who wonder, out loud sometimes, why they can’t meet someone who will complete their life, make them happy, make them feel good about themselves and make them feel loved. My answer is that they will never find anyone to do that for them until they are able to do that for someone else. My marriage to Donna works so well because we aren’t about what the other one does for me, but what I do for the other one. I prepare her cup for when she wants her morning tea before I fix my coffee, and she will have everything I need to make coffee ready for me when I wake up (the few times I sleep later than she does.)

It’s things like this, little things, every day, that we need to do to reconnect with our family and friends. Texts and posts on social media are a cop-out.

The same is true with God. We need to reconnect with God daily, daily prayer is essential to maintaining our relationship with Him. The Torah section we are in covers the days at the end of the slavery in Egypt, and we are going to hear a lot going forward in the book about the children of Israel in the desert. They had divinely delivered food, they had water from rocks, their clothes didn’t wear out, they got to see God, Himself, on Sinai! And heard His voice! Oy!

Yet, they k’vetched and moaned and whined over and over, for months, and even years. They didn’t reconnect with God until He had to slap them upside their heads, with quails that made them sick, with snakes to bite them, with plague, and with fire from heaven. The history of God’s people, Israel, is one of taking Him for granted.

If we take God for granted, how much more so do we take each other for granted? That has to stop. This has to be nipped in the bud and we need to get our heads back on our shoulders, out of Facebook and Twitter.

These aren’t making communication better- they are destroying what makes communication worthwhile! They remove the personal and compassionate relationships we have when we take the time to sit and write, to call and speak, to connect one-to-one instead of one-to-many.

Is God important enough to you to speak with Him only? Is there anyone in your life you care enough about that you want to spend time connecting to him or her alone? Is there a friend or family member that you love so much you don’t want to share them with me, or my friends, and their friends’ friends all at the same time?

I am going to post on my Facebook page this week, once I get the wording correct in my head (you ‘d think that should be simple, given all the empty space I have to work with) a last post. I enjoy some of the posts, I like how I have connected with people who I wouldn’t have connected with, but I am going to end my FB because it is NG for me. I am in communication, but I am not communing. If the people I am reading posts from and replying to can’t take the time to write me a personal note or email, then my friendship (in their mind) must not be worth taking any extra effort to maintain. And making personal posts isn’t the answer- it’s still just a FB post, albeit a different format. And if I am that unimportant, they won’t really miss me. And, hurtful as it may be to find out that if it takes an effort to stay in touch with me I am not worth it to them, at least that will be an honest and truthful relationship. I have friends who, to me, are like family but I know I am not like family to them. I am usually the one making all the effort to communicate, and since I have known these friends for decades, I know from this long relationship that I am important to them, they just don’t take the time because that is how they are. It hurts, and sometimes it makes me really mad, but when we are together I can feel their love and friendship. They need me as much as I need them, it’s only that I am better at understanding the dynamics of the relationship. And that’s not from me, that’s from God in me.

There are those that are givers, and those that are takers- neither one is wrong or right, they are just what they are. The world needs to be in balance, and I am a giver and many of my friends are takers. They need me, and I need them- we balance and complete each other. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in life was to accept generosity as easily and quickly as I give it. It is much harder for me to accept a gift than to give one, and the way I learned was to remind myself how wonderful it makes me feel to be able to give something nice to someone. Then, I turn that around and when I am uncomfortable taking a gift, I remember how nice I feel when I share or give something to someone, and tell myself that I am being selfish and discompassionate by not letting that person have that same feeling.

We all know it is better to give than to receive, and so when we are supposed to receive something let’s “give” the other person that wonderful feeling by receiving it joyfully and appreciatively.

And stay in touch with each other; no greater love is there than that one should give one’s life for a friend- isn’t that what Yeshua tells us?

It’s a lot easier to write a personal memo or make a phone call than it is to die.

PS: If you agree, please comment after you read this. Scroll down and agree that we need to be more personal in our relationships, we need to be more about the other person than about ourself, we need to reconnect with God, friends and family in a way that makes the other person feel we are really speaking only to them. We must take the time and make the effort to communicate with them, only them, and no else but them, because they are that important to us.

(hashtag) Enough Already!!

Leave a comment

When was the last time you saw some kids playing Hide and Go Seek in your neighborhood at night? Can your teenager really talk without having to do so into a phone or I-Pad? When did they replace “Spin the Bottle” with “Text me?”

I grew up in the Fifties- it was an age of innocence, the government didn’t lie to us and we were all worried about the Red Scare (Communism) taking over our country. And let’s not forget “The Bomb” destroying us all in a flash. When you see the old movies with the little children at school duck and cover under their desks or along the walls under a window, and you laugh at how silly that is, I was doing that. I remember it.

The really sad and ironic thing is that while we were all certain that Communism would destroy our American way of life, it was TV that silently and slowly infiltrated the nuclear family. In the long run, it wasn’t “the bomb” or Communism that destroyed our family, it was technology. It was TV. The TV we watched during dinner, so no one talked about their day during the meal. We even kept quiet to hear the commercials. Now it is I-Pads, Tablets and Smartphones that cause our kids to stay in their little cocoons and think they are communicating.

To be fair, communication is a dynamic environment, changing constantly in the way we use words, gestures and even the means of communication. We have gone from yelling, to smoke signals, to sending letters, to calling, to emailing, to texting, twitter, facebook and snapchat. Just to mention a few. And as we find newer and faster ways to communicate, the words we use change. OMG, I wonder if this is TMI for you, my BFF? HUH?

God communicated very simply- He spoke to us through the prophets and on occasion, directly through visions and dreams and, at least once, as a voracious fire on a mountaintop. The words are fairly simple to understand and the commandments straight forward. There are some of the ordinances and regulations that many call “Ceremonial Laws”; in Hebrew they are called “Hukkim”, and these are regulations that are not so clear as to why God gave them to us. But, He did give them to us to obey, and we should. The whole idea of ceremonial verse moral is just a form of compartmentalizing God’s commands in order to justify disobeying them. And when you watch TV to learn about who Jesus was, what the Bible “really” is about, you will find that the word of God is treated (usually) as something to debunk. And you know that they would never lie on TV, right?

What am I leading up to here? I am concerned for our children and our future because the way we deal with each other is one of the two greatest commandments, isn’t it? To love God and love each other? Leviticus 19:18? How can we truly show compassion towards and care for each other if we aren’t even face-to-face? Our children don’t know how to talk to each other, or anyone else, for that matter. Some research indicates (I just read this in the paper this morning) that youth are spending nearly 16 hours a week just on their computers or phones. When you figure that’s probably between 1500 and 2100 (that’s 3:00PM and 9:00PM to you civilian types), add to that all the TV they watch, there is almost no time for interactions like play, catch, tag, whatever. When I was a kid I would be playing outside with my friends until I got called in to the house, way after dark. Summertime was playtime when I could stay out late. Now the only thing that prevents kids from playing is when their battery runs low.

The family that is centered on God should be more centered on each other- the parents should make sure they talk with their kids (even though kids don’t feel that way) and they should watch out for too much technology. I am a systems engineer; as such, my career is dependant upon computers and networks. But I am afraid that technology is how the Enemy’s will enter into our lives and how he will infiltrate our family and take over those who are innocent and unaware.

The way we communicate today is almost exclusively through the airwaves, is it not? And what is the term that Shaul (Paul) gave to the enemy? In Ephesians he calls Satan the “Prince of the power of the air.” Think about that for a moment:  we communicate through the air and the Enemy controls the air.

We who are Believers should do whatever we can to make sure that we do not let technology become a snare for ourselves and our children. I am not saying to go live in the wilderness, or throw the computers and cell phones into the garbage- the unfortunate truth is that we cannot do without them because they are a global phenomenon and, as such, we have to deal with it. But that doesn’t mean we have to let it run our lives, or (more correctly) ruin our lives.

Technology can do wonderful things: it can perform life-saving surgery, it can help us see our loved ones across the country or across the world, and when used correctly it can help bring us together. But, on the other hand, it can (and already has) separated and cocooned us; it is cold and unfeeling and it may be controlled by the Enemy in a way that will divide us as a family, a people, and (ultimately) place a wedge between us and God. Technology is like fire- it can warm and protect us or it can turn on us and destroy us with an unquenchable hunger.

It’s up to us to maintain face-to-face, “real” relationships. Get off Facebook or Twitter now and then, and call someone. Talk to them using your voice instead of your fingers, and meet with people, get your kids out onto the lawn and play with them. Have a catch, roll around in the grass, or just walk around the neighborhood. Go to the country for an outing, invite the neighbor’s kids to go along, encourage meeting with each other at your place of worship.

We need to be with each other, physically; we need to see each other’s faces, touch, interact closely; we need to get back to being sociable instead of just socializing.

And we need to be alert for “the sign” being pushed on us: I believe it will have something to do with technology. There has already been, for a long time, talk about a computer chip in the hand or forehead that will replace the debit and credit cards. It will seem correct, it will be the “latest thing” and when we fall for the hype we will find ourselves with the mark of the Enemy before we even realize it. That’s what I am afraid of: technology is a tool which can be used for good or for evil- it is up to us to use the tool correctly and be aware of it’s inherent dangers.

When I was in the Marine Corps I was a Combat Engineer, which means I dealt with demolitions. Things that go BOOM, in a big way. We used to say you only get one mistake with a land mine.

The same holds true with technology- one mistake, one moment that we let our guard down, and BOOM!